Biological Catalyst
by nighttime writer
Summary: At one point Jethro was more than just Tony's boss - he was his father. AU
1. Chapter 1

One thing led to another on that faithful day where Jethro and Shannon met while waiting for the train. At boot camp Jethro receives a letter from Shannon telling him that she was pregnant. That was over four years ago. Now Jethro is coming home for the first time since he left Stillwater to face the past he left behind. SUPER AU

_Prologue –_

_To my dearest Jethro – _

_It took forever to convince your father to give me your mailing address. It seems as though the grief of your departure has overcome him. He misses you. Golly, I had to sit through hours of stories about you growing up before I had to remind him why I was there in the first place. _

_I've been trying to write this letter for days now, unable to come up with the words I know I must tell you. It seems silly, looking back, realizing that I've only known you for the few hours we were together, yet it seems like I've known you my entire life. I guess part of it is thanks to your father's stories of you. Truth be told, I cherish each one of those stories because I feel just a little more closer to you with each and every one of them. _

_Jethro, that time at the train station, I didn't mean for it to be taken as far as it did. We were children making foolish decisions. I laugh now at the irony of it all. I found out today that I am pregnant. My mother nearly had a heart attack at the news. Can you believe it? After all the private schooling and church my mother made me attend, this is the child she raises? Her words not mine. _

_Please don't feel obligated to take care of the child, Jethro. I know your dreams exceed the simplicity of Stillwater. You've escaped this awful town and you're making a mark in the world. My mother wants me to have an abortion. Despite her Christian ideals she believes that this will ruin me; that our child will bring the both of us down. _

_I don't know what I want. By the time this reaches you I know that I would have already made my decision and for that I'm sorry because I know that this involves you too. I'm proud of you, Jethro; of all your accomplishments now and in the future. I'll be waiting for the day when we can finally start our lives together._

_Love,_

_Shannon_

Chapter 1 –

Leroy Jethro Gibbs gave a sigh as he finally stepped foot onto the train platform. Four years was a long time. The wooden bench where Shannon and he had met that one fateful day had been replaced with some metal ones. The small tree in the corner was now taller than he was branching out in different directions. There was now a stop sign in the corner of the two busy streets just barely noticeable to the untrained eye. Then again, Leroy Jethro Gibbs' eyes were anything but untrained. The already normally observant boy now possessed the eye of a hawk, each movement heightened due to his training.

"Leroy!" Jethro's eyes wandered over to an old man busily hobbling over to him, pride beaming from his eyes.

"Dad!" Jethro smiled, making his way over to the man.

Jethro stepped forward meeting his dad at the bottom of the incline before dropping his bags besides him, engulfing his father in the most powerful hug he could muster; the familiarity of his father's scent allowed him to realize just how much he had missed the older man.

After a minute in the warm embrace Jackson Gibbs reluctantly stepped back, finally taking a good look at his son. Leroy had grown another two inches or so taller from the last time he had seen him. Any evidence of the child that had left four years ago was gone and in his place stood a proud marine. Leroy's stature was no longer one of a lanky teenager's and he had over the course of four years apparently grown into his long arms and legs. His lanky frame gone as barely concealed muscles bulged from their hiding places. The boy that left returned a man.

"Good lord you've changed, Leroy," Jackson commented with a shake of a head.

"I was gone for four years, Dad," Jethro said with a smile picking up his luggage once more.

"How long are you back for, son?" Jackson's eyes traveled towards the light bag slung over his son's shoulder.

"Not for too long. I have to take care of some stuff here in Stillwater, and then I have to head back. I'm getting deployed in a month."

Jackson stole a sideway glance towards the younger man. "That stuff have to do with that one girl Shannon, Leroy?"

Jethro stifled a groan. It had taken all of five minutes before his father had settled back into the role of nosy parent. He slid into the beaten down station wagon his father had been driving since as long as he could remember, trying to formulate words that would not start an argument. Even in letters that they had exchanged throughout basic training and advanced training had been arguments. Eventually both had silently agreed that the only exchange of letters would be for the important stuff like Christmas and birthdays.

"Can we hold this conversation for another time, dad? I just got home," Jethro said with force civility.

Jackson grunted but decided to drop the conversation. The rest of the drive was in awkward silence that usually possessed father and son whenever they were in the same vicinity for more than five minutes without arguing. Every now and then Jackson would steal glances over to his marine son with silent admiration. The boy looked like his mother, there was no doubt about that. With each stolen glance Jackson was reminded of the love of his life, the precious gift that she had left behind when she died nearly 10 years ago. At the time of her passing Leroy was only thirteen years old. It was the time when he needed his mother the most, and unfortunately she was too frail to take care of Leroy even in her latter years before her death. Sure, Leroy looked liked him enough, but his personality, his fire and stubborn determination, well, that was his mother through and through. The boy, no, the man sitting besides Jackson would have made his mother proud.

"Home sweet home!" Jackson said with a smile as he pulled up to the house.

Jethro peeked out the window for a few moments before opening the door and slowly stepping out. For four years he had slept in barracks and in poor excuses of sleeping bags when he was in the field. He had spent four years envying those who had a nice house to come home to, and family that wholeheartedly supported them. One out of four wasn't so bad Jethro decided.

Jethro plucked his belongings from the back and made his way into the house where the smell of home cooking immediately invaded his senses. He was overcome with a sudden constricting ache in his heart as he realized what that smell was. He made his way into the kitchen rather hurriedly wishing beyond foolish belief that it would be his mother in the kitchen cooking his favorite dish and that her disappearance in the last 10 years of his life was a cruel joke.

He entered the kitchen stopping dead in his tracks, his heart dropping from stupid anticipation. There, in the kitchen, stood his father's newest fling, his mother's recipe book open wide on the kitchen island.

"Leroy, I'd like you to meet Sally, my girlfriend," Jackson stated calmly stepping besides Jethro to go stand besides the unfamiliar woman.

"It's nice to finally meet you Leroy!" Sally said with nervous enthusiasm.

Jethro watched as she tried helplessly wiping the flour on her apron before reaching out her arm to him. Jethro glanced down at it, tempted to walk away from it. Quickly, he squashed the thought from his head. He was a marine now, no longer the child he was four years ago who would have rolled his eyes and walked away.

"Nice to meet you, Sally," Jethro said in the most respectful tone he could muster.

Sally's face broke into a smile, as did Jackson's as Jethro shook Sally's hand.

"Why don't you put your things away, son and get ready for dinner, son? Sally has been here all day trying to prepare your favorites," Jackson grinned. "We can't wait to hear all about your crazy adventures."

Jethro nodded turning away from the kitchen. His blue eyes carefully concealing the feelings of betrayal harbored deep within his heart. Despite the fact he was twenty-two he still felt possessive over that book. That was his mother's cookbook. His father had no right to allow any one of his stupid girlfriends to touch the sacred book that his mother made for _his father and his eyes _only. It was called a secret family recipe for a reason and his father was betraying that very secret.

Jethro made his way up the stairs to the last room on the right: his room. The door creaked as he opened it. He smiled at the revelation that everything was just as he left it, down to the clean empty mug of water he had accidentally forgotten to bring down four years ago on his desk. He sighed noting that the bed was still not made four years later, and his high school diploma was currently covered under layers of dust, still sitting on the dresser.

He threw his belongings down in the closet, promising himself that he would unpack after dinner. He sat down on the bed, frowning when the dust particles flew up in the air. With a sneeze he stood up fishing the covers off his bed. He made his way to the hall where the linen closet was, taking out the fresh pair of sheets he could lay his hands on and then preceded to make the bed.

Ignoring the catastrophic mess he had left his room in when he left, he laid upon the fresh sheets allowing the smell to permeate through his nostrils with a generous whiff. He fished out a crinkled envelope from his pocket, gingerly opening it, re-reading the familiar words once more.

In all the letters he had written in response to this one he had gotten none back. Jackson had written nothing of Shannon in his letters to Jethro no matter how much the younger man pleaded for news of the girl. Yet, Jethro wrote, each week, before deciding that each month was much more manageable due to time constraints. He wrote her of the amazing things he was doing with his life, of the training he was receiving, and of the sights he had seen in such a short period of time. He concluded each message with a reassuring promise that he would come back and they would get married, and their lives would start. And at the end of each letter he would allow himself to wonder of the child he may or may not have; if it was a boy or a beautiful baby girl. For months Shannon was the only thing Jethro had to hope for, during the brutal marine training he had received. It seemed, when he was writing those letters that the day would never come.

Jethro picked up the phone and dialed the number he had long memorize many nights ago. There were times, many times, when he was allowed a phone call home, and yet he could never bring himself to call the person he wanted to, his mind always getting in the way of his heart. Reasoning would allow him to put the phone down; he was too far away, it would cause too much trouble, it was a conversation better made in person. Now, none of those excuses were relevant and as he continue on with the fifth and sixth digit his heart began palpitating in ways he was trained to control.

When the telltale signs of ringing was heard Jethro forced himself to stay on the phone, despite how suddenly dry his mouth had become.

"Hello?" a frail voice picked up the phone.

Jethro gulped. "Good evening m'am this is Leroy Jethro Gibbs calling."

There was an audible gasp on the other line before silence. Jethro counted the seconds away unsure of what to do next. _One. Two. Three. Fou-_

"Leroy Gibbs. I've heard rumors that you would be back in town," the voice finally said breaking the silence.

Jethro nodded before realizing the voice could not see the movement. "Yes m'am," he forced out.

"I'm assuming you'd like to talk to my Shannon?"

Once again Jethro nodded before realizing his mistake. He forced himself to vocalize a calm "Yes m'am, if you don't mind," all the while wondering how it had gotten so hot in his room.

Jethro unbuttoned the lower buttons to his dress blues as he fidgeted on his bed. There was once again an awkward silence on the phone while the woman on the other end debated on the situation.

Finally the sounds of her calling for Shannon broke the silence. "Hold on a minute, young man."

Suddenly Jethro realized that he'd rather sit in awkward silence for as long as humanly possible than talk to Shannon. What if things have changed? Of course they have changed! Jethro shook his head at the stupidity of his thinking. They were only eighteen years old at the time. She had to have grown up. She had dreams that were far greater than his! She wouldn't want anything to do with a twenty-two year-old boy in the military…

"Hello?" Shannon's voice broke through his thoughts.

"Shannon…" Jethro breathed out.

"Jethro?" Shannon hesitantly questioned.

"Daddy!" A voice in the background yelled out.


	2. Chapter 1 ctd

"Anthony, wait!" Shannon's voice softly scolded.

Jethro's heart melted. That was his Shannon, and if this boy was who he though he was, then that was his boy. All of a sudden his fears had disappeared into thin air as he listened to the young boy on the other side whine and argue with Shannon, who patiently told the boy to wait.

"Sorry about that, Jethro," Shannon sighed into the phone.

"How are you?" Jethro asked a smile plastered on his face.

Shannon laughed at the question, tears springing to her eyes. She had missed the voice that for so long had haunted her dreams. Though she'd never admit it, she pinched herself subtly to make sure that this was reality and not some dream she didn't want to wake from.

"I'm alright. How are you?" Shannon smiled into the phone.

"I'm doing better now that I've heard your voice," Jethro exclaimed.

And all of a sudden Jethro felt eighteen years old again. Never mind the things he's seen as a marine, the battles he had fought, or the amount of blood on his hands. As the minutes progressed he found himself getting lost once again in the sound of her soft voice; laughter bubbling from his insides as he listened to the stories that flowed freely from Shannon's end.

"Hey, what are you doing right now?" Jethro asked interrupting Shannon from another humorous story of one of her many adventures in Stillwater.

"I'm talking to you, Silly," Shannon giggled.

Jethro rolled his eyes, but the smile did not disappear. "I know that! I meant for dinner, what are you doing?"

"Oh, well my mother usually cooks dinner for us, but Anthony behaved today for my mom so he wants to go out for dinner," Shannon responded.

"Come over," Jethro suggested. "My dad's girlfriend cooked dinner tonight for my homecoming. I don't really know her, and I'd really like to see you."

Shannon thought about the implications of going to Jethro's house. On one hand it would allow them to talk about the last four years of their lives. On the other she knew that she'd have to talk to him about why she hadn't responded to any of his letters, despite the fact he sent one religiously once a month. She allowed her eyes to wander over to her little boy, who currently was playing with a toy gun, spit spewing from his mouth as he made "gun noises." She watched as Anthony, who was lost in his own world, saluted one of his toy soldiers before walking past the small figure and towards the cat, which at the moment was playing Col. Ryers. She watched as Anthony told the cat proudly that his daddy was in the marines and that he was a hero.

It had been four years for Shannon as well. Four years of waiting in hopes for another letter if only to know that he was all right. She had spent four years as the talk of the town, a single mother who, despite her upbringing, had failed her family and was currently mooching off her mother. It had been a long and hard road for Shannon, one that she had to travel by her lonesome. Now suddenly, she wasn't so alone, but that in it was a lot more intimidating than the former.

"I don't know, Jethro. It's been awhile," Shannon said hesitantly.

"I know. It has been," Jethro said quietly. Silence filled the line, as both got lost in the past.

They both have pasts. The problem was they both have two separate pasts. How on earth were they going to integrate the two to make one future? Was that even what the other still wanted?

"…please?" Jethro quietly added.

And then Shannon's heart melted. Whether it was the pleading nature in his voice, or the voice itself, which propelled her heart to beat erratically, Shannon felt herself once again unable to deny Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

"Fine," Shannon said, faking aspiration.

"Great! I'll go downstairs and set two more places at the table. Be here by five!" Jethro said hanging up before Shannon had a chance to take back her answer.

Upon hanging up the phone Jethro pumped his fists into the air, punching it as he jumped up and down with excitement. He allowed himself a quick thirty-second celebration before recomposing himself. Upon exiting his room his dress clothes were once again buttoned, the wrinkles which had accumulated upon sitting on the bed was once again pressed out and he stepped out into the hallway with a distinguished professional mannerism that he was definitely not feeling on the inside.

"Dad, would you mind if Shannon and a guest come over for dinner?" Jethro asked with cordiality that did not match the intensity of his blue eyes.

Jethro dared his father to say no as his eyes locked with the elder man's own. Jackson shook his head, though his own smile was forced, more for Sally than for his son.

"Of course not, Leroy. Invite whichever one of your friends you'd like. There's plenty of food for all," Jackson said with forced calmness.

He knew the story behind Jethro and Shannon's relationship. He had heard the story from Shannon's own mouth of the stupidity that led her to be in the situation she was in at the present moment. Of course as a grandfather Jackson had given his share to help raise the boy, but he did not mention the boy to his son. Leroy had a bright future ahead of him, and he didn't need Shannon dragging him down.

Jethro's eyes hardened but he didn't say anything else. He turned back and headed towards his room, purposefully ignoring the laughter that seemed to rise from the kitchen as his father and Sally laughed over her accidentally spill.

By the time five o'clock rolled around Jethro was beside him with anticipation. His hair, which he had combed through for what seemed like the thousandth time already, was still standing up in odd directions. He shook his head suddenly wishing that he had taken up the offer for a haircut before he left for home. He had dressed out of his dress clothes, instead, settling on a nice button down shirt and some nice jeans.

The last time he saw Shannon was…

Well, the last time he saw Shannon was the day he had left for boot camp. Their escapade in a forgotten bathroom in the corner of the busy train station in the city was the hello and the good-bye that both needed. It was Jethro's first time as well as Shannon's, that much was evident in the entire situation as it had turned out to be quite an interesting experience for the both of them. For Jethro, however, it was the moment he realized that she was the one for him.

The doorbell rang and Jethro sprang into action. He left his room making his way down the stairs patting down his hair one last time. He stole a glance in the mirror in the hallway before finally taking a deep settling breath. Jackson stood behind him in the entryway between the hall and the living room, a sad smile on his face. He gave Jethro a reassuring nod and with it Jethro slowly opened the door.

"DADDY!" a squeal from somewhere below his line of vision forced him to look not at Shannon, but at the small boy squirming in front of her.

Seconds later the boy squirmed away from his mother's grasps and took a running leap into Jethro's arms. Jethro's first instinct as a marine was to floor the boy, but the father in him won out and he allowed his arms to wrap tightly around the young boy, a smile gracing over his hardened features.

Shannon stepped forward hesitantly smiling shyly over at Jethro.

"Hi Jethro," Shannon said looking up from under her bangs.

Jethro tilted his head, adjusting the boy in his arms into one hip, before engulfing Shannon in the biggest hug he had ever given. Jethro clung onto the both of them for dear life, tears of happiness threatening to fall from his eyes.

"Shannon," he whispered into her hair.

There they stood for as long as they all dared. Even Anthony, the boy who could not sit still for more than two seconds clung on comfortably, adjusting so that he was hugging both his mother and father. It was only when Jackson finally let out a cough to remind them of his presence did they reluctantly pull apart; well, except Anthony, who was still clinging onto his father's neck as if his life depended on it.

"Daddy, you were gone for a really long time!" Anthony exclaimed.

Jethro laughed realizing that Anthony was at the age where he still couldn't quite pronounce his r's, instead they sounded like w's. He hugged the boy tightly against him, taking in his unfamiliar scent. Already he had found himself deeply in love with the little boy in his arms.

"I know, I'm sorry about that," Jethro whispered out loud, unable to trust his voice to not break if he said it any louder.

"It's ok. I know you were out saving the world," Anthony said. And just like that, he was forgiven.

Anthony shifted in his father's arms, but didn't squirm out of it. When Jethro made to put the small boy down the boy made protesting noises, only settling when Jethro shifted him to the other arm. Jethro exchanged a glance with Shannon who only simply smiled at the interaction of father and son.

"Leroy Jethro Gibbs, meet your son, Anthony Leroy Gibbs," Shannon said her eyes falling on the boy in Jethro's arms.

"Mommy said I was named after the saint who watches over missing people," Anthony stated proudly.

"And?" Shannon asked smiling up at Jethro, who was smiling down proudly at his son.

"And daddy!" Anthony stated flashing Jethro a big smile.

Jethro mouthed a thank-you to Shannon who nodded her head in acknowledgement.

"You going to say hello to me anytime soon, Tiger?" Jackson asked pushing off the wall and plucking the boy from Jethro's arms.

Anthony reluctantly let go of his father giving his grandfather a quick hug before pushing towards Jethro once more.

"I'm sorry. He's usually not this clingy," Shannon immediately apologized.

Jethro shook his head at Shannon while taking the boy into his arms once more. "Don't be sorry, Shannon. Thank-you so much for bringing Tony over."

Shannon smiled, her eyebrow disappearing into her hair. "Tony?"

"Anthony is a mouthful," Jethro simply stated.

Jackson left the three alone in the living room after telling them that dinner would be ready in twenty minutes. Shannon offered to help set the table but Jackson declined knowing that her son needed her more than Sally and he did in the kitchen.

After much fussing both Jethro and Shannon were able to convince Tony to play with some toys that Shannon brought with them. For a while both parents watched as their son bounced around the room, turning the living room into what he deemed was a base of operations. They watched as the boy made car noises, which eventually turned into airplane noises as he traveled across the room, back and forth, in ways only a four year old could understand.

"As you can tell I went through with the pregnancy," Shannon started.

"You've done a great job by yourself," Jethro admired. "He looks like a handful."

"Oh, he is!" Shannon exclaimed. "But he's a good boy."

"Thank-you. Again," Jethro said turning to look at her.

"For what?" Shannon asked confused.

"For telling him about me. For bringing him over," Jethro said, tucking a piece of stray hair behind Shannon's ear.

"I've missed you," Shannon whispered.

Jethro nodded leaning back into the sofa. He let his arms drape across her shoulders and watched as she snuggled in closer. "I've missed you too. A lot."

Jethro looked into Shannon's eyes, blue eyes searching through green orbs, getting lost in their depth as he searched for the words to describe their relationship. They're only getting to know each other and already it's felt like they've known each other for a life-time. As Jethro searched those eyes he realized for the first time what a soul mate really was. He understood what people meant when they said they couldn't live without that person. It had only been ten minutes since he opened the door. Heck, dinner wasn't even prepared yet. But he knew now, without a single doubt in his mind, that she was the one, and that the last ten minutes marked the beginning of the rest of his life.

* * *

**A/N:** This is saved on my computer as part of chapter 1 so please note that this is a continuation of chapter 1. Now I need a little help. I have two likely stories in mind: one centered on the relationship of Shannon and Jethro and another one more focused on the relationship between Tony and Jethro. I have a completed "chapter 2" that fast forwards a couple of years that starts to shift the focus between father and son, which was what I originally had in mind. However, while writing I realized that as of now the focus is on Jethro and Shannon. Either way Tony is a big part of the story. Now, I need some advice on how the story should progress in that sense. I have a feeling this story might drag on, but I want it to be about Jethro's and Tony's life and how it changes with time and I realize that those stories are long and sometimes a bit tedious. Also, I want this to progress in a more novel-like way so the writing may be a bit different from what I usually do.

Thanks for the reviews. I will try my best to answer each and every single one, however please note that I am a full time student in a top notch program which is full of competition. I write half the time instead of study like I should so I tend to get behind on either or. For that I ask for your patience and continued support and understanding. Please note that as I writer I strive on getting reviews and constructive criticism. I strive to better my writing and I can't wait to take this journey with you all. Wow, that sounded completely corny, but I mean it with the utmost sincerity. Please continue reviewing if only to tell me you are still reading because it is really the readers who make it all worthwhile.

-Liz


	3. Chapter 2

"Well this is it!" Jethro said, slamming the door to his beaten down truck closed.

Jethro looked up proudly from the street, leaning against his truck, admiring the view of their newly bought home.

They had been traveling for what seemed like days now for Tony. In truth, it had only been four hours since they left Stillwater. Jethro had finally been able to find a house off-base that was close enough for the kids and Shannon to have the support they needed while he was deployed, yet unaccompanied with the hassles of base life living. It had been five years since that fateful day when Jethro came face to face with his son for the first time. Five years since he and his wife had a "shotgun" wedding two weeks after the meeting in which both were barely unable to wait for the official "I do" before the kiss. In the time span of five years Jethro had been deployed twice already, Shannon had another child, a girl named, Kelly, and Tony was officially diagnosed with ADHD. Overall, it was the best five years of Jethro's life, and he could hardly wait for the next chapter in his life.

Tony came around the truck, a firm hand on his sister's still chubby fingers. At nine years old Tony was just below Jethro's chest. He was a little tall for his age, though too lanky for either Jethro or Shannon's liking. Despite the fact the boy ate like none other. Tony leaned against the truck mimicking his father's posture as he first looked at his dad observing the house before then doing his best to mimic the look on his father's face. Jethro's absence had accumulated to three years in the five years that he'd been around. The times that Jethro was around Tony became Jethro's shadow following him around everywhere. The times he was absent he took the role of man of the house seriously, so seriously that it often led to times where Shannon would have to hold back a laugh as the boy attempted something he's seen his father do before, yet he was way too young to do.

Shannon took the opportunity to take a candid shot of father and son with the new camera that Jethro had gifted her for their anniversary some months back. She watched as her little girl looked upward, confused as she tried to break away from her brother, who held on tightly.

"I can pick any room?" Tony asked his eyes never leaving the big house.

Jethro nodded, placing a hand on Tony's head and rubbing it affectionately. "Yup, you can have any room in the house, as long as you don't choose the master."

Jethro pushed off the truck taking his daughter from his son's grasp and throwing her into the air earning a squeal of delight, before he caught her safely in his arms. Tony ran past him opening the front door while Shannon met Jethro at the bottom of the front stairs. Together, they walked into the house, taking it in for the first time as owners instead of just prospective buyers.

This was their house. They were going to create memories in the house. Their family would fill the house with memories. It was big enough that if they kept to their plan and stuck with two children they wouldn't out grow it, but it was certainly small enough that there would be forced interactions between the family members, which was exactly what both parents wanted.

"Well Mrs. Gibbs, welcome home," Jethro whispered into Shannon's ear after placing a kiss on her temple.

Shannon leaned back onto Gibbs' muscular form, the same smile she was wearing on her wedding day, still plastered on her face five years later. "Good to be home," Shannon whispered back.

Together they stood in the opening of the house. On either side of them were a living room and a formal dining room, both of which were empty. The dark hardwood flooring was shiny, just waiting for the scratches both parents knew were inevitable with having a toddler and a boy with ADHD. Overhead they could hear Tony running from room to room, his excitement audible as he yelled down his latest discovery to his parents.

"DAD! Can I have the attic for a room?" Tony's yelled from the uppermost floor.

Jethro and Shannon exchanged looks before busting out into laughter. In truth it was the room that both had hoped Tony would choose. It was the biggest one next to the master. It was also convenient due to the fact the stairs leading to the room was right next to the masters and it was a little more insulated than the rest of the house. It was also the only room in the house that was carpeted. In the attic Tony was free to unleash his rowdier side without real harm to himself or others.

"Sure, Tony!" Jethro yelled upwards.

Jethro and Shannon shook their heads when they heard a familiar "whoop" before the sound of steps running up a set of stairs.

"My woom!" Kelly shouted indignantly from her place in Jethro's arms.

"Oh! I'm sorry, Princess," Jethro said looking down at the little girl in his arms who was currently pouting up at him.

Shannon and Jethro made their way up the stairs to the room they both had hoped Kelly would like. Jethro had come one weekend before the actual move in and painted a room a pastel purple in hopes that it would be satisfactory for their Princess. Jethro led the way to the room across the hall from the master bedroom into the second biggest room on the floor. Upon opening it Shannon was surprised to see most of Kelly's belongings already moved in, including a brand new "big girl" bed that Jethro had apparently set up in his spare time.

Kelly immediately wiggled from her father's secure hands making her way over to the little dollhouse Jethro had built for her last Christmas. He had painted the walls of the dollhouse the same pastel purple he had painted the room.

Kelly made her towards the familiar dollhouse, a look of satisfaction on her face as she plucked one of the dolls from the house and immediately started to comb through the hair with a small brush she found off to the side.

"Tony!" Jethro called out.

A series of noises in what sounded like a small stampede headed in their direction signaled of Tony's incoming arrival. The nine year old leaped from the last stair, never missing a step, before halting besides his father standing in mock attention as he waited with patient ears for his orders.

"Yes, sir?" Tony said looking up expectantly at his father, his green eyes dancing with anticipation.

Jethro shook his head still unable to understand how this little ball of fire was his son. He looked nothing like Jethro, and barely resembled Shannon. As Tony stood at attention in front of Jethro he saw features of Tony that he had clearly gotten from neither parent. He had the brown hair color from Jethro, and the green eyes from Shannon, but that's as far as the resemblance went. Then again, Tony was never one to go with the flow.

"Can you please watch your sister for us, soldier, while we go unpack some of the things in the truck?" Jethro asked in his "marine voice" that Tony loved so much.

Tony looked over at the young girl who was currently in the process of shoving one of her toys in her mouth. Tony rushed over yanking the doll from her chubby hands before looking over at Jethro. He looked from his mother to his father and with utmost seriousness replied, "Sir, yes, sir!"

Jethro and Shannon exchanged silent laughs knowing that their son would not appreciate it. Jethro slipped his arm around Shannon's waist as they walked towards their own room knowing that their son was perfectly capable of handling their three-year-old daughter. Unlike Tony, Kelly was able to sit still for normal periods of time, and she wasn't as rambunctious as her older brother, something both parents found themselves continually thanking God for. They loved Tony, but his energy was draining. Neither knew if they had the energy to keep up with another Tony.

Jethro opened the door first to their room, allowing for Shannon to take a tentative step forward. The room was as she had requested, a nice green color with white furniture to liven up the room. The bed lay serenely in the middle of the room, balancing it at the very center from the empty side (which was clearly Jethro's) to the more feminine one, complete with a powder table that Jethro had made as a surprise for Shannon. She was surprised to see the amount of effort Jethro had placed upon making the powder table finding intricate carvings hidden under the white coat of paint Jethro had lathered over it.

Besides each side of the bed were identical nightstands for both parties, a hanging lamp sticking out from the wall over the upper-center of the bed. Shannon stepped into the en-suite bathroom that Jethro had painted as well, two shades lighter than their room. Towels hung from newly placed towel hangers; his and her sinks lined one wall.

There was a bathtub that Jethro had replaced and the shower besides it looked a lot more different than what Shannon had remembered when they first looked at the house. Jethro's mark was left with the different picture frames he had hung up in attempt to decorate the room. They couldn't have looked more out of place if he had planned it. Quotations clashed with different art, which clashed with different black and white and colored photographs. Shannon read through the quotes--which varied from inspiration to downright crude.

"Who choose these?" Shannon cried out after reading the last one: _The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale._

"The teenage boy at K-Mart," Jethro shrugged.

After one last examination of their room Shannon and Jethro made their way to the truck sneaking a peak inside their little girl's room on the way down to find Tony currently making gun noises with Kelly's Barbies. Jethro shook his head but continued on saying nothing about what he had seen.

It had taken hours to unpack what little they had brought with them. The moving truck was supposed to come tomorrow to bring the rest of their belongings and they had packed only what was necessary for survival, Tony's television and VHS player was one of them.

"Tony!" Jethro called from the kitchen a couple of hours later.

Jethro waited and like clockwork the sounds of his boy bundling towards him could be heard long before he could be seen. Tony slid into the room, nearly hitting his head on the island in the process.

"Be careful!" Jethro exclaimed.

"Sorry, dad," Tony said dismissively. "What's up?"

Jethro rolled his eyes at his oldest. He watched as Tony climbed up the bar stool standing on his knees so he was eye to eye with Jethro. Instinctively Jethro placed a protective arm around Tony, stepping forward to shield the boy from falling.

"I'm ordering pizza, what do you want on it?" Jethro asked, though he already had a good feeling what the boy would want on it.

Without a moment's hesitation the young boy in front of him lit up, his words tumbled out of his mouth in a rush, "Pepperoni, sausage and _extra_ cheese!"

Jethro let out an amused snort and the boy's smile stretched even bigger. Jethro turned around and like clockwork, the boy placed his arms around Jethro's neck before pushing off the chair and clinging onto his father's back. Once Tony was safely secured onto his back Jethro walked towards the stairs, phone in hand and son on back. He took the stairs two at a time, despite Tony's added weight, laughter bubbling from inside when he heard Tony's gleeful laugh fill the air.

"Faster horsey!" Tony demanded.

Jethro snuck a backwards look, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. "Hold on!"

With just that simple warning Jethro sprinted up the rest of the stairs practically jogging towards Kelly's room. By the time he reached the room his forehead was covered with a light bead of sweat as he struggled to breath in air between his laughter. The poor boy clinging on to dear life was still breathless, but the smile on his face reassured Jethro that he was all right.

Shannon took one look at father and son before taking the camera in her hands and snapping a quick picture. Kelly looked up from her blocks a confused look on her face. It was times like these that Shannon truly appreciated; yet it was these times that were so few and far in between the constant disappearance of her husband due to his that she missed so much. One day, she promised herself, that she would buy a video recorder and record the interactions into memory, for pictures did little justice to such touching moments like the one she was witnessing.

Kelly interrupted Shannon from her musing as the little girl stood up and hobbled towards her husband and son. Shannon watched as Kelly grabbed Jethro's hand and pointed to the ground, stifling a laugh as the hardened marine immediately did as he was signaled, their son still glued to his back. Kelly pointed to the carpet besides Jethro and Shannon watched as Tony slowly peeled himself off and sat besides Jethro. Both males waited with patient anticipation as Kelly handed both of them teacups. With an order to "drink" from the youngest Gibbs both took imaginary sips from their empty cups. Shannon laughed as she took another picture. It never ceased to amaze her how much her little girl had both her husband and son wrapped around her little finger.

"That was very delicious tea, Princess," Jethro proclaimed placing the small cup on the table.

"Yeah, Kels!" Tony agreed with a burp.

Shannon and Jethro rolled their eyes at their son's antic, but said nothing as they watched as he placed a big fat kiss on his sister's cheek.

"I assume you two are here for something more than the tea party?" Shannon asked looking over at them.

"I was going to ask you what you wanted on your pizza," Jethro said with a smile.

"Mom! Tell him that you want pepperoni, sausage, and _extra_ cheese!" Tony pleaded.

Shannon rolled her eyes, but walked on over towards the two taking Tony into her lap before settling down besides Jethro. She gave her son the same similar kiss he had graced his sister with moments ago and gave Jethro a small nod signaling her 'ok' for the obnoxious pizza.

Jethro ordered and as the family waited they indulged Kelly's imagination feigning intense interest in her teddy bear's background story of how he was invited to the tea party. And when she became bored of that they watched as she ordered them to watch as she performed her ABC's, clapping at the end of her "brilliant" performance. Throughout this time father and mother exchanged glances of adoration and love unable to fathom what either could have done to deserve such wonderful children and such a loving spouse. Here, in their house, the family spent their first night creating memories that many could only dream of in a lifetime. From the outside, neighbors could hear the laughter and squeals of a happy boy and girl and sometimes the distinct shouts of a loving man who would yell for them to settle down. With no blinds up, neighbors were offered a rare glimpse into the home of their newest neighbors, envying the love that was clearly present, and wondering, years later, if anyone knew what tragedy was in store for the happy family.


	4. Chapter 3

"…AMEN!" Tony concluded the prayer with one hand hovering anxiously over the bowl of mac-and-cheese.

"Ladies first," Jethro said, swatting the younger boy's hand from the bowl.

Tony groaned, but allowed his mother to reach for the bowl watching longingly as she placed a helping on her plate. His eyes followed her hand as she placed a small amount of mac and cheese on Kelly's plate. Teasingly, Shannon started to hand the plate over to Jethro, stopping only when Tony let out a frustrated sigh of defeat, slouching over the table, with his head being supported in his hands. Jethro and Shannon exchanged bemused expressions before Shannon finally took pity on the lanky boy placing a generous helping on his plate, before finally passing it over to Jethro.

Four months had flown by since the first night in their new house, and tomorrow Jethro was to be deployed on a black ops operation with no exact return date in mind. Late one night, Shannon had come up with the brilliant idea of creating a make-shift Christmas dinner and opening some Christmas presents because this was going to be the third Christmas Jethro will miss in five years. Each year Tony had loathed Christmas, unwilling to open his presents until his father had come home from his deployment. So while most families were currently celebrating Thanksgiving, the Gibbs family was celebrating Christmas.

It had been hard explaining the situation to Tony, who insisted at school that Christmas was truly in November. At nine years old, the boy was still very much living in an egocentric universe. Shannon and Jethro had to go down to the school after Tony had stormed out from the classroom, angry at the teacher's insinuations that Christmas was really in December.

"Dad! When you get back will you continue to help me learn to throw a football?" Tony asked his mouth full of food.

Jethro gave Tony a stern look, "Don't talk with your mouth open, kiddo." Tony shut his mouth, but the hopeful look on his face did not leave. "Yes, I will definitely show you how to throw a football. In fact, I bet I could make you the best on the team by next season!"

"Really?" Tony asked in amazement.

"Jethro, he's a little small for football," Shannon said wearily.

Jethro shook the comment away with a swat of the hand. "He'll be tall enough by next year," Jethro simply explained.

Tony grinned at the thought. He was a little short for his height. "Lanky," as his father would describe, but he knew without a doubt that he would be ready for football season, if only because of his father's comment. It made sense in Tony's mind. His father had never let him down, ever; and whatever he said always went, even at work with his marines.

"You hear that Kells, dad says I'm going to be the best on the team next year!" Tony said turning to his younger sister, who had been quietly concentrating on her food.

Kelly looked up grinning at her brother. "You are already the best!" Kelly stated.

Jethro and Shannon beamed with pride at Kelly's statement. It was odd, both of them knew that, for their two children to get along so well, but none of them questioned it. Tony was an amazing brother to Kelly, always willing to play dolls with her, or tea party, or include her in any and all games he played when he had friends over. It would always win a questionable look from his other friends, but Tony never seemed to notice. As a natural leader Tony usually set the pace of all games, and when his sister wanted to play, the rules immediately changed to accommodate the smaller girl.

Kelly looked up to Tony. She followed him around the house everywhere he went, and Tony took the responsibility with willingness few kids his age were willing to show. Jethro and Shannon knew that the most patient person with Kelly was neither parent, but rather, her nine year old brother, who never once raised his voice at her. This allowed Jethro to feel a little bit more comfortable with his deployment knowing that the kids would not be giving Shannon as hard a time as most siblings their age.

"Jethro, tell her to stop putting her peas on Tony's plate," Shannon said already scooping the peas from Tony's plate placing them back onto Kelly's.

"You heard your mom," Jethro said with a stern look.

Kelly pouted and Jethro melted, giving Shannon a pleading look. Shannon laughed as she continued to pick the peas off Tony's plate.

"She has you wrapped around her little finger," Shannon exclaimed with a shake of the head.

"She does not!" Jethro said indignantly.

"Hate to say it, dad, but she so does!" Tony added stuffing his face innocently.

Jethro rolled his eyes, placing a mouthful in his mouth, giving Shannon a pouting face, making his wife laugh out loud. The rest of dinner was spent talking about nothing of particular. Jethro sat back and listened with ready ears as Tony talked about his friends at school, classes, and the basketball team Jethro and Shannon had signed him up for. During times of silence Kelly would speak up, telling them of her play dates she's had with the other girls her age in the neighborhood, and of her newest best friend, Maddie. Yet, all too soon, all four were too full for another bite. Jethro looked around as Tony and Kelly finished the last of their ice cream pie a sad look upon his face.

Jethro would miss them. He would miss the lighthearted dinner conversations that seemed to fill each evening. He would miss the endless games of Candy land and Chutes and Ladders that followed every Wednesday evening; the nights where Tony and he would watch a game on television; the tea parties that he participated in each Saturday with Kelly; the nights where he would demonstrate his love to Shannon – he would miss each and every single moment. The thought that the coming nights were to be once again filled with loneliness in the middle of foreign land was enough to hinder his jovial spirits, if only for the moment.

"The best part of Christmas is the presents!" Tony exclaimed excitedly to Kelly.

It would technically be Kelly's first year to open presents without Shannon or Jethro's help. Usually they would place the child in their laps and help the kid as they picked away at the wrappings. However, after much complaining from both children both reluctantly agreed that Kelly was indeed old enough to un-wrap her own presents.

"When do we get to open them?" Kelly asked, looking over at Jethro.

Jethro gave a smile, his demeanor quickly reverting back to jovial as he rose from the table taking the last gulp of his beer. "Now."

Tony was quick to his feet, his chair flying out from underneath him as he sprinted into the living room. Kelly was a little slower, climbing down from her chair before waddling after her brother leaving Shannon and Jethro in their wake.

"I guess they really wanted presents!" Shannon said with a laugh.

Jethro nodded, his arm slipping over Shannon's shoulder. Together they walked, with Shannon leaning into Jethro, into the living room to find their children bouncing excitedly on their rumps in eager anticipation.

Shannon slipped out from Jethro's arm to set up the camcorder she had received for their anniversary some time back. Jethro, Tony, and Kelly all rolled their eyes as the familiar red light signaling the start of another recording blinked against the mirror behind the Christmas tree.

"Merry Christmas!" Shannon stated gleefully.

She allowed for the camera to take in the scene before her. The Christmas tree decorations all favoring the lower part of the tree, pieces of popcorn already eaten off from when her nine year old got hungry stringing it. The presents, though sparse, was enough to cover the lower part of the tree and the sounds of Christmas carols were playing softly from the eight track.

The room itself was dark allowing for the Christmas tree to illuminate it. Jethro leaned against the entry way a smile on his face as he observed the sight before him. He gave a wave as the camera swung his direction. Tony saluted it and Kelly gave a gracious wave as both children sat with presents in their laps.

"Can I open it yet, mom?" Tony asked into the camera.

"Not yet. Why don't you tell the camera what's the date and what who's gift you're opening first," Shannon explained.

Tony frowned, but did as he was told, rushing through the trivial knowledge before stopping stumped as to whose gift he was opening. All he saw was his name and that within itself was enough for him to yank the present from under the tree.

"Mom!" Tony cried out tilting his head to see if the answer would be underneath the present. "It doesn't say who it's from!"

"Hm…" Shannon said handing the camera to Jethro.

Jethro took the camera, zooming in as Shannon flipped over the box in search for the missing giver.

"Wait a second," Shannon said, her head snapping upwards, an indignant look on her face. "This is from you isn't it, Jethro?"

Jethro laughed realizing his mistake. In truth he had asked someone else to wrap it for him knowing that he was a failure when it came to that skill. He hadn't really thought about the fact the wrapper had left the "from" part empty for him to fill out. He shrugged earning evil glares from both Shannon and Tony.

"So not funny, dad!" Tony pouted.

"How about me!" Kelly asked looking over at the camera, "Today is Christmas time! And I don't know who my presents from, but I'm still going to open it!" Kelly said with such confidence that the elder three started laughing.

Kelly ignored them as she started to dig into her present. Shannon, Jethro, and Tony sat back patiently as the girl took her time, meticulously un-taping each taped part before slowly folding the wrapping back.

She grinned when she saw her newest doll. It was what she had been asking for since the commercial came out in the summer. By Christmas time she had given up all hopes of getting it. Unfortunately, it was one of the more popular selections and even as an early shopper Jethro had been mostly unsuccessful in finding it. Yet, after standing in line for hours, he got the second to the last one, paying nearly one third extra of its original price.

"My turn!" Tony stated.

His methodology of opening presents was the complete opposite from his sister. He ripped through the wrapping in no time, tearing through the box and tissue paper as he stuck his nose into the box. Upon reaching in he came confronted with two sticks, a confused look upon his face.

"Sticks?" Tony asked with a frown.

"Drum sticks," Jethro stated.

"Drum sticks?!" Tony and Shannon both yelped out in surprise.

"Drum sticks," Jethro said with a laugh, truly pleased with himself for surprising not only Tony, but Shannon as well.

"Jethro…" Shannon started.

"Relax, hun. I've paid for six months of lessons with a private instructor," Jethro soothed Shannon, who was still looking at him with trepidation. Jethro winked at Shannon before turning to Tony, "If you continue on with it from there then when I get back we'll buy you your own set, but only if you stay dedicated to it."

After presents the Gibbs family gathered around the small television in the family room to watch "It's a Wonderful Life." Halfway through the movie both children were sound asleep. Kelly was in her father's lap, her head resting just below Jethro's chin as she snored lightly, her hand still grasping on tightly to his shirt. Tony's head rested on the other side of Jethro's chest. Jethro's thumb rubbed circles on the boy's back as he too snored quietly unaware of his surroundings.

"Shall we turn off the movie?" Shannon whispered pointing to the two sleeping children in Jethro's arms.

Jethro nodded starting to shift to a more comfortable position. Tony groaned a little, settling in further into his father's chest and Shannon suppressed a small giggle as she watched Jethro's eyes fill with a little worry, scared he might have woken his son. Yet, that Tony's eyes stayed closed and after a few seconds Jethro allowed himself to relax, a smile overtaking his face.

"They're getting so big," Jethro whispered over to Shannon.

Shannon nodded sadly. "Yeah, they are…"

Jethro looked down at Kelly's messy mop of blonde hair. It was already darkening at the roots. Jethro realized that by the time he came back from his deployment, more likely than not, Kelly's hair would have already turned the brown he had suspected it'd be.

Jethro looked over at Shannon who was currently basking in the sight before her. It was these times that Shannon engraved in her memories that kept her going when Jethro was away. It was when she saw the love both her children possessed for their father, and more importantly, the love her husband possessed for them as well. It was these times that allowed her to continue on knowing that in the end, no matter how long the wait was, it is worth it.

"I'm going to miss you again, baby," Jethro whispered, blue eyes penetrating green ones.

In the dark, with both children asleep, neither parent needed to hide their emotions. Shannon allowed the tears to freely prick her eyes nodding in agreement.

"Me too," Shannon finally whispered.

Jetho nodded. "Let's get the kids to bed…"

Shannon watched as Jethro slipped out from under Tony. She knew that tonight Jethro would want to tuck both kids in himself. It was a sort of ritual before each deployment. She scooted over on the couch, allowing Tony to lean against her for the time being. She ran her fingers soothingly through the boy's hair, noting to herself that it was starting to get a little longer than usual. She smiled at the thought of how strict Tony was about his hair. In every way he wanted to be just like his dad, and his hair was no different. He wanted the same military cut that Jethro had. She worried for her son who looked up to his father so much. She worried for this deployment knowing each one was becoming increasingly more difficult on the boy as time went on. It was hard for Tony, who, for the longest time in Stillwater, was the only boy with a father in the military. Boys would ask Tony where his father was and there were times when Tony had come home crying because of the boys in the school. The parents were no better, usually going out of their way to pity Shannon who "was always left behind to take care of the kids on her own." She hoped that the move would allow the deployments to be easier for Tony who now went to a school with half the children being military brats. It seemed as though Tony fit in more in this school than he did at his other one.

Shannon's musings were interrupted as Jethro appeared at entry way of the family room. With apparent ease Jethro lifted his son into his arms. Shannon followed turning off the last of the lights as she went. She watched as Jethro quietly climbed the stairs, his eyes trained solely on their son. Shannon trailed behind as she watched from the top of the basement stairs as Jethro gently laid Tony down before tucking him into his Magnum P.I. bed, a gift he had received last year for his birthday. Jethro kissed the top of Tony's forehead before ruffling his hair softly. Shannon felt like an intruder to the intimate father-son moment, blushing lightly when Jethro turned around and headed her direction. Jethro was starting his descent when Tony sleepily said outloud, "I love you, dad."

Jethro smiled into the dark, replying without a moment's hesitation, "I love you too, Anthony."

The night was spent the same as every night before a deployment was spent; Shannon and Jethro re-memorized each curvature of the other's body. Their body's synchronized as one as hands traced over each part of the body, their eyes never leaving the other's. It continued on until both were too tired for anything else but sleep, in which they cuddle up, spooning, never releasing the other from their grip. It was as if they were each other's anchors and without the other they would just slip away. As Jethro watched Shannon in her sleep he realized that this was true. Shannon was his anchor. She was his rock, she was everything to him, and he could not see himself living one day without Shannon. The very thought of it overtook him with fear. Shannon woke at the intensity of his gaze and with bleary eyes she gave him a small peck on the lips mumbling for him to sleep. He returned it with a passionate kiss and they made love once again for the second time that night, this time it was quick and passion filled, primal in its very nature. It was a good-bye that they both did not want. All too soon the morning came, and with that, once again, reality replaced the blissful night that Shannon and Jethro had. And with the morning came the good-byes that the family hated so much. Shannon watched as the cab pulled away, knowing once again that she would be incomplete until Jethro was back, safely in her arms.

* * *

A/N: I know I haven't responded to people's reviews but believe me that they are the best thing any author could ask for. I wrote this in a fever induced state so I hope it makes sense. I now know where this story is going but it's going to be awhile before we get there. It's an AU for how Tony becomes part of NCIS. Please continue with the reviews, they are what keeps the inspiration going.

-Liz


	5. Chapter 4 pt 1

It was Shannon's worse nightmare come true. The nurses and doctors rushed around her, working feverishly to stabilize her son. Kelly was in the waiting room with Jackson and her mother, who had driven up upon the news of Tony's accident. The only reason she was even allowed access into the room was because Tony was a minor.

Since Kelly had been sick Shannon had been unable to pick up or drop off her son to basketball practice. One of the fathers had offered to pick Tony up and drop him off for her and she gladly accepted the help. It was a proven help and while Tony was away it usually allowed some one on one time with Kelly, who was currently sick with the chicken pox.

Just hours ago the rain had picked up, and the temperature had dropped making the roads icy. William, John's father, had apparently slipped on black ice and the mini van had skidded into oncoming traffic. It was a pretty bad accident, and all four children in the car as well as William had sustained some form of injury, but Tony, who was sitting in the edge seat where the car had been hit, sustained the worse of it.

The call had come just minutes after the accident. A paramedic had found Tony's state id that Jethro had insisted in making the boy carry and had called the house. Immediately dinner had been forgotten as she burst out in hysteria. Kelly, who was taking a nap at the time, wandered into the kitchen, her eyes huge at the sight of her mother's tears. Scared she tentatively asked her mother what was wrong, only to be ordered to go put on her shoes and her jacket.

Somewhere in the time span of getting the phone call and hanging up Shannon shut down, auto-pilot taking over. She called her mother who called Jackson, and told them which hospital Tony was to be taken to. Afterwards she bundled up her daughter the best she could before plucking her from her feet and carrying her over to the car. She buckled her in securely in the car seat triple checking it before rushing over to her side. When she got to the emergency room the parents of the other team members were already huddled around each other, leaning against each other, comforting each other. Mothers rushed over to her, plucking Kelly from her arms before leading her to the receptionist. They spoke for her, telling the poor pimply faced man who she was, ordering him to tell the doctor she was there. Seconds later a nurse came out from behind sliding doors and with a push from the other parents, Shannon followed the nurse numbly through a maze of hallways. The nurse led her to the room with the most activity, reassuring her best she could, while still asking her all the vital information that none of the parents could answer.

It was all standard trivial questions that any mother knew about their child and she was no different. She answered them quickly and hastily, tears still flowing from her eyes. Once finished with the questions she nodded before opening the door.

"Doctor, the mother is here," the nurse, who said her name was Betty, informed the doctor.

One of the men in scrubs looked up, sweat dripping from his face. Shannon managed to suppress the urge to gag at the sight of blood that was smeared all over the once green scrubs.

"Is he allergic to anything?" the doctor screamed above the monitors and commotion.

Shannon shook her head, unable to pry her eyes from her son's form on the bed. He looked horrible. There was a hole in Tony's throat that hadn't been there when she had last seen him. A tube snaked out of it into a machine that made _whooshing_ noises. A heart monitor beeped erratically screaming off warnings that the boy's blood pressure and pulse was dangerously high.

"Get her out of here!" Someone yelled in the cluster of people.

Shannon snapped up from her reverie. Tears halted from falling at the clear threat of being forced from her son's side. Shannon's resolved hardened.

"No!" She stated firmly.

"You have to…" someone started.

Shannon shook her head firmly. "I'm NOT leaving."

Whether it was her intimidating 5'4 stance or her grizzly mother bear coming out that made the man in front of her back down she didn't care. No one bothered her afterwards as she was content to stay in the corner of the room, away from anyone's way, but still hovering close just in case.

The sounds of a continuous beep made Shannon weak to her knees. She leaned heavily against the wall at the sounds of a code being called. She sobbed hysterically and freely as a crash cart was brought into the room. She watched as Tony's lifeless body jolted up before plopping back down, the beep still endlessly long. Again, and again, they jolted him three times before it finally became a once again steady, but weak sound.

"We need to get him into an O.R. room STAT!" the doctor yelled.

"O.R. 3, team's on stand-by," someone else yelled.

Suddenly machines were getting disconnected from the walls and with a new rush of activities, people moved out of the way as they all wheeled the bed out the sliding doors. Shannon was crestfallen when someone stepped in front of her just as she was about to follow, a sorrowful look upon their face.

"We're sorry Mrs. Gibbs, but you're not allowed back there. The doctor will come out to the waiting room as soon as possible to give you an update," a new nurse said sympathetically.

Shannon allowed the nurse to lead her back to the waiting room where some parents were already reunited with their own child. A sudden wave of envy ran through Shannon as she watched wives and husbands cling onto their children, smiles plastered on their faces. Did they not realize that just beyond those stupid doors her son was fighting for his life? Did they not realize that unlike them, who had each other to cling onto, her husband was in another country, unaware of the current circumstance?

Jackson stood from the uncomfortable chair upon spotting Shannon. Shannon's mother, Bonnie was beside him, a sleeping Kelly on her lap. Jackson led Shannon to his seat, ordering her to sit down while he went to go hunt for coffee.

"Baby, how are you doing?" Bonnie asked taking in the sight of her daughter.

The younger woman was a mess. It was obvious by her attire that she had absolutely no intention of going out for the night. Her hair was in disarray, evidence of the fingers that ran through them a million times before. Bonnie shook her head noting the fuzzy slippers that Shannon had apparently not bothered to change in her haste to get to the hospital. She was no envious of the position her daughter was in. It was every parent's worse nightmare, and she was living it.

"Tony's in surgery," Shannon said numbly.

"I asked about you, sweetheart."

"I've been better," Shannon said letting out a dark laugh.

Kelly's eyes opened at the sound of her mother's voice. She reached out her hands and gave a small sound of satisfaction when her mother took her from Bonnie's arms. However, she was feeling too weak to do much else and immediately settled back into sleep.

"Kells, you're burning up," Shannon said worriedly, feeling her daughter's neck before putting her hand underneath the layers of clothes she made sure Kelly had on before they left.

"Let me sleep mommy," Kelly whined pushing Shannon's hand away.

"Mom, she's burning up!" Shannon practically shrieked.

Shannon stood before Bonnie could say anything, practically flying towards the receptionist desk.

"I need a thermometer," Shannon demanded, cradling her daughter to her protectively.

The receptionist looked up at her before looking down at the child in her arms. He fiddled around a little before grabbing a clipboard and a pen. He placed it on top of the counter and said, "Please fill this out."

Shannon looked down at the form. There were letters blending together but for the life of her she could not make out the words. "No, my daughter has a fever, and she's really hot, and she needs a doctor damn it!" Shannon snapped.

The receptionist smiled patiently and Shannon let out a frustrated growl. Tony, she couldn't be there for Tony, not while he was in surgery, but she could for Kelly, and there was no way in hell this kid was going to stand in her way as Kelly burned from the inside out.

Luckily Bonnie appeared besides Shannon, placing a warning hand on Shannon's shoulder. It did little to comfort her, but it did stop her from lunging over the counter and slapping the receptionist silly.

"Why didn't you tell me her fever was so high!" Shannon asked whirling to face her mother.

"Shannon, calm down," Bonnie warned.

"No! I will not calm down. Kelly is sick and her fever is too high and this numbskull idiot will not let me have a stupid thermometer," Shannon cried out.

A nurse appeared at the moment behind the receptionist. Shannon recognized her as Betty, the nurse who had led her in the first time. Betty took pity on the mother. She saw the red dots on the little girl's face and hands and knew instantly that she was suffering through chicken pox. She went to the back and fished out a thermometer before quickly coming around the counter and taking Shannon to a backroom, sticking a thermometer in Kelly's mouth.

"105.1," the nurse read out. "Let's get her in a bed and get some cooling blankets on her."

The nurse led Shannon to the first empty bed in the emergency room. The staff immediately recognized her as the mother of the boy who went off to emergency surgery.

"What's the rush Betty?" Dr. Pearson asked noting the normally calm nurse speed walking towards one of the beds.

"The patient has the chicken pox with a 105.1 fever, doctor," Betty said from behind a curtain.

Betty pointed to the bed and Shannon sat Kelly down in it, starting to take off her layers of clothes. Betty left, returning a few seconds later with a wet washcloth and a blanket.

"It's a cooling blanket. We just need to get her fever down," Betty stated.

"Mommy, stop! It's cold!" Kelly cried out trying to stop her mother from unbuttoning the rest of her clothes.

"Please, Kelly, you're too hot baby," Shannon soothed, all the while trying not to lose her mind.

"I want daddy!" Kelly wailed, making Shannon stumble back as if she was physically punched in the stomach.

One year, four months, three weeks, and six days. That was exactly how long it had been since Kelly had mentioned her father. At four she was surprisingly able to comprehend a lot, knowing that her father loved her very much but could not be with her at the moment due to the fact he was off saving the country. Kelly never asked for Jethro except occasionally telling Shannon how much she missed her "daddy." She understood that it was a sacrifice for her father to be away from her. For her to ask for him signified how truly sick Kelly really was.

The nurse looked up at Shannon, empathy radiating off her. She gave Shannon a reassuring look, urging her back to the bed where Kelly was looking up at her expectantly.

"I know, princess. But daddy's off defending our country right now," Shannon said softly. She ran her fingers through her daughter's hair, attempting to ignore the fact that her daughter was currently shivering beneath the cooling blanket.

"Fine, then, Tony," Kelly negotiated.

Tears sprang to Shannon's eyes. She didn't exactly tell Kelly what was wrong before. All that she stated was that Tony was in trouble and they needed to go the hospital. She had fallen asleep on the way to the hospital and had woken up in a familiar person's arms until her grandpa had come and taken her into his arms. In all that time she was mostly in a state of sleep though now Shannon realized it was probably because she was already running a high fever. Under all the layers of clothes no one probably bothered to check the girl's forehead.

"Baby, Tony can't be here right now either. It's just you and me, Sweetheart, but I won't leave you."

"Mommy, I'll be good to Tony and Daddy if you'll just let them in," Kelly whined, tears in her eyes.

"They can't be here right now though, Princess," Shannon choked out.

Kelly turned away from her, tears in her eyes. She said nothing else. Shannon felt completely flustered.

It took two hours for the doctors to confirm that Kelly was having an allergic reaction to the medicine she had been prescribed for her chicken pox. After being given something to counteract her allergic reaction the doctors discharged Kelly into her mother's arms, ordering Shannon to take the child home. After, reassuring her that Tony's operation would take another couple of hours and that no news was good news, they had finally convinced her to take Kelly home and get a change of clothes for the night.

It was unspoken that Jackson and Bonnie would stay home with Kelly while Shannon stayed in the hospital with Tony. The drive home was quiet as Kelly slept off the medicine and Bonnie drove her daughter's car home, allowing Shannon to finally let it all sink in.

Shannon opened the door to the house, realizing that she had left all the lights on still. Completely drained she allowed Jackson to pick up Kelly and led him to her room where Jackson set her down.

Bonnie had gone to Jethro and her room and packed her a set of clothes before going to Tony's and packing him a few clothes of his own. Shannon sat in the living room couch allowing her father in-law and mother to bustle around her. Jackson had gone to the kitchen after putting Kelly in bed and cooked a quick dinner, ordering Shannon to eat some before she went back to the hospital.

Shannon was in the middle of the soup when the front door opened and Jethro stumbled in, his clothes soaked from the perpetual rain that didn't seem to want to let up.

"Dad?" Jethro asked his eyes landing on Jackson, who was on his way back to the kitchen.

Jethro paled when his eyes landed on Bonnie, who was walking down the stairs, a small overnight bag in hand. Something was wrong. His mother in-law and father would not drive up in this weather unless absolutely necessary.

"Jethro?" Jethro whirled around to see Shannon, standing on shaky legs, leaning heavily on the wall, hugging herself unable to believe her eyes.

Jethro scooped her up in his arms, quickly noting her bloodshot eyes and tear streaked face. Jethro's worry increased tenfold when Shannon practically collapsed in his arms, sobs racking through her too thin frame.

"What's wrong, Sweetheart?" Jethro whispered into her ear, slowly bringing them both to the ground.

"Everything!" Shannon sobbed.

* * *

A/N: This chapter, as you can tell, is a two-part chapter that I've divided.

Reviews are read and greatly appreciated. Thanks so much for them. The last chapter got the most than any of the other ones. Since I'm home for break I'll go ahead and reply to those now. Continue reading, and please, continue reviewing. You guys are great.

-Liz


	6. Chapter 4 pt 2

_

* * *

The road I have traveled on,  
Is paved with good intentions.

* * *

_

Jethro gave a heavy sigh as his eyes fell upon his son's prone form on the bed; wires of different sorts and tubes from what seemed like every orifice protruded from underneath the blankets. Tony's left arm was in a cast, along with his left leg. A gash that started somewhere from beneath the bandages extended all the way down his face ending at the bottom of his cheekbone; his left eye was swollen a disgusting array of blue and purple. Jethro felt a heavy body practically collapse on him. He didn't have to look to know it was Shannon, who was apparently for the first time as well, finally got a look at Tony.

Jethro led Shannon to the recliner next to the side of the bed before walking to the foot of it and leaning forward heavily, his head dropping to his chest as he forced out even breaths.

Jethro and Shannon stayed home with Kelly until the doctors called to inform that Tony was out of surgery. It was hard leaving one sick child to go see the other, even harder when one of those sick children was lucid enough to beg you to stay, but Jethro promised that he'd be home when she woke up. Shannon and Jethro would both stay with Tony for the night, but they agreed that Jethro would leave around eight to ensure he was home by nine – which was usually the time Kelly woke up.

"He looks so small," Shannon whispered over to Jethro, her thumb stroking the hand that she had stolen from Tony's side.

"How'd this happen?" Jethro asked his voice coarse.

Shannon looked up to meet Jethro's eyes, only to look back down again. She realized that her husband was barely holding it together as he examined their only son. He was shaking, probably from the combination of exhaustion and fear; Shannon realized for the first time that Jethro looked a little paler than his usual complexion.

"Why are you home so early?" Shannon asked, her eyes glued on Tony for fear of his response.

Jethro had called a little less than a month ago. Due to the nature of his mission communications were a practical blackout and the five minutes spent on the phone listening to "I love you" muffled by static was more what Shannon expected. When Jethro told her he would be home a week before for Tony's fifth grade "graduation" she had already marked the entire week down. It was only March.

"Not important right now," Jethro deflected.

Shannon's eyes narrowed, but she didn't dare stand up. She knew that she did not have the strength to stay standing if something had happened to Jethro that would allow him to leave the mission at such an early notice. Knowing enough about the marines she knew that that was the only way he would be home right now. Tears resurfaced and threatened to once again fall at the thought of her husband being hurt.

Jethro made his way over to her kneeling down in front of the recliner, taking Shannon's cheeks into his hands, forcing her to look directly into his eyes. Together, they searched the other's orbs – looking for the safety and comfort they knew only the other could give them.

Shannon was the first to break eye contact, shaking her head as the tears fell once more. "I can't handle all of this by myself, Jethro," Shannon finally whispered out.

_When all of my hopes were dying,  
Her __love kept me trying.  
She does her best to hide,  
The __pain__ that she's been through._

"Baby, I'm not asking you to," Jethro said as he took Shannon fiercely into his arms.

"Why are you home early?" Shannon whispered once more.

"Baby, it was a small concussion. I just got a concussion and they took me off the rest of the mission. I was at Bethesda for awhile, but I asked them not to call you because I didn't want you or the kids to worry. I was only there for twenty four hour observation…" Jethro stopped, his eyes landing on Tony. "…though maybe if I did call Tony would not be I this mess right now. It's my fault…"

Shannon pulled herself from his arms, her eyes narrowed as her mind quickly picked up on the tone of Jethro's voice - _guilt._ He felt as if Tony's hospitalization was his fault. He wasn't even there. If anything it was her fault. She should have been able to multi-task better. She should have brought Tony to the basketball practice. As a mother it was her responsibility.

"Kelly was sick and I couldn't let her leave the house so I told Tony he had to skip practice. He got really mad because Joe Dugan apparently made a new rule that for every missed practice that's one minute off playing time. Tony's been having a really hard time with your deployment and his activities are really the only things keeping his mind sane I suppose. He's been…he's been having a rough year," Shannon noted sadly.

Since Jethro's deployment Tony's spirit had taken a freefall. Since the start of the last school year Shannon had been called down to the school twice already to pick up Tony because he got involved in two fights. At home Tony was no better. He'd argue with Shannon about the tiniest things, yelling at her because she didn't do it like "dad" did. One time he had even lost his temper with his sister, snapping at the little girl. Stunned the little girl wailed and Shannon found herself running up the stairs two at a time that day – fear for her daughter's life. She had never been so angry at her son, who was telling Kelly to shut up when she arrived at the room. That was the first time she had ever truly grounded Tony.

"So what happened?" Jethro asked.

"I called one of the fathers. Usually there is a car pool for a group of kids on the team, but the parents had worked it out beforehand and Tony is a little out of their way. However, I explained the situation and William Harris told me that he was willing to pick up Tony for as long as necessary. He swung by the house and picked Tony up twenty minutes later. I put Kelly down for a nap and I started to prepare dinner when an hour after that I got a phone call from the police. Apparently, William didn't even make it to practice. He had slid on some black ice on the road and onto oncoming traffic. It took the police half an hour to cut through the frame to get to…" Shannon's voice broke and Jethro understood enough.

Jethro cursed under his breath his eyes settling once again on the boy in the bed. He shut his eyes attempting to recompose himself after the story. It was his responsibility to drive Tony to practice, not some random father's. It was his responsibility to be there for his family and not some random father's. Yet, he had failed. He didn't realize how dangerously close he had come to losing his son. Thirty minutes. It took them thirty minutes to even get to his son. He swore again realizing that if he had been there it would have only taken him five minutes. Metal was no match for a father's love. Metal was no match for a _marine father's love_.

Jethro moved over to the bed. He rubbed his son's bandaged head, rubbing tears away frustrated with the other hand. He needed to be strong for his family right now. Shannon had been the strong one for too long. Shannon needed him, Tony needed him, Kelly needed him…and he'd be damned if he his emotions get the best of him.

"Mr. Gibbs I presume?" the doctor asked stepping into the room.

"Yes, sir," Gibbs answered his head snapping up.

"Mrs. Gibbs," the doctor greeted.

Shannon stood up and crossed the room to stand besides Jethro. Together they faced the doctor, standing besides their son's bed protectively. Dr. Sanders nodded and asked them quietly to step out in the hallway with him, if only to discuss their son's well being without waking him.

It was late. The hospital's visiting hours were long over and the only people around were the nurses who were gathered at the nurse's station doing report. One of them, Phyllis, was Tony's nurse and had already given both Jethro and Shannon some blankets for the night. Phyllis gave Shannon and Jethro a reassuring smile from the nurse's station as they stood huddled together across for the doctor, their eyes wide as saucers.

"My name is Dr. Sanders, I talked to you on the phone Mr. Gibbs," Dr. Sanders introduced himself, shaking both Jethro and Shannon's hands.

"How's my son doing Dr. Sanders?" Jethro asked, his hand finding Shannon's. He gave a gentle squeeze and Shannon immediately leaned into Jethro.

"Your son is a fighter. We were able to repair a lot of the internal bleeding. What we are worried about most right now is his spleen. There was a lot of damage to it and while we were able to suture up most of it the next couple of hours are important. We don't want to remove it simply because Tony really needs his spleen still, however, if the bleeding does not stop, we will be forced to…" Dr. Anderson stopped talking gauging the parents' reactions before deciding to take a different course of action. "Tony's been through a lot of stress, and honestly, we lost him again on the table, _but_ he's a fighter. I can tell you that right now. You guys raised a brave little boy. A splenectomy will be really rough. He'll be prone to a lot more infections, but he's young, and otherwise healthy. He'll be able to bounce back. He won't be able to play sports for the next couple of months, but he'll be back on the field if he really wants to. His life will be no different from the kid next to him if he loses it, and that's talking about if he loses it, but he'll still be able to be a kid."

"Splenectomy?" Jethro repeated.

"Removal of the spleen," Dr. Sanders explained. He shut the file taking a good look at Jethro and Shannon.

Jethro had his arm around Shannon's shoulder, allowing her to lean into his chest as if they were one. Shannon looked drained, but the fight was still clearly evident in her eyes. It was no wonder that the boy he operated on an hour ago had such a fight for life. There was a sort of pride he had taken when he laid eyes upon the beaten boy on the table. Pride that the boy had lasted so long with the injuries he had. Pride that despite almost losing him twice he had come back. When he was taken into post-op to allow some of the anesthesia to wear off he had woken up attempting to pull some of the wires from his body. He sleepily told one of the nurses that he was not happy before falling back asleep, eliciting a laugh from the well known callus-hearted nurse.

"He had a comminuted fracture on his left arm and just a greenstick fracture in his left leg. Comminuted means…"

"I know what it means," Jethro said, cutting the doctor off.

"It's not as bad as it sounds. It could have been a lot worse with the accident he was in. All in all I've got to tell you – Tony is lucky to be alive. With everything done, if all goes according to plan, Tony should be able to make a full recovery. We gave him something so he could sleep for the night so don't be surprised if he doesn't really respond to you guys. Do you have any questions?"

"Can he play sports again?" Shannon asked from besides Jethro.

Dr. Sanders took in a deep breath contemplating his answer. Finally, with carefully chosen words he spoke, "Yes, in time, he will."

"Good because Tony loves playing sports," Shannon said trying to lighten the mood.

"I'm sure he's wonderful at them too," Dr. Sanders offered.

Dr. Sanders asked Jethro to sign a couple pages of paper – consent for all that was done and for all the tests Tony was lined up for in the morning – while Shannon went back in with Tony.

Within a couple of minutes Jethro walked back into the room taking the chair in the corner and dragging it to the side of Tony's bed before finally plopping down in it. He took Tony's hand in the same similar fashion that Shannon had taken Tony's other hand and together they listened to the beeping of Tony's heart machine, both consumed in their thoughts.

Jethro felt his eye-lids getting heavy, the events of they day finally catching up with him when he felt a slight squeeze from the hand he was gripping. Immediately, as if gun fire had gone off from besides him, his eyes snapped back open landing on the bleary green orbs of his son's eyes.

"You came," Tony's voice broke the final dam of tears behind Shannon's eyes as she cried happy tears for the first time all night.

Jethro gave a laugh that sounded dangerously close to a sob. He looked over at his wife momentarily seeing the tears in her eyes. Afterwards he looked down at his son and within that moment he made a silent promise to himself and to his family that he would never do that to them again. He would not leave her to face any trouble like this alone again.

_She tries, to hide,  
All the fear she feels inside.  
So I pray, this time,  
I can be the man that she deserves.  
'Cos I die a little each time,  
When she cries.

* * *

_

A/N: The italics are lyrics to a song "When She Cries" - MYMP ...it reminded me of Gibbs so much that I needed to get it into my story somehow and this was the best place for it I guess. I have so many reviews in my email that I was practically jumping up and down with happiness today. I am so appreciative of each and every single review. For those I have not yet gotten the chance to get back to THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU. Please continue reviewing. This was a little late, but I forced myself to sit down for this one. Also for those of you faithful readers of "When Family Calls" please note that I will hopefully have something at the very latest by Saturday night written and posted.

Once again, thanks for all your thoughts and responses to the story. And please continue reviewing.

Liz

P.S. you would think as a nursing major I would be able to get all the medical terminology correct, especially since I already took a medical terminology class. However, please pardon those excuses if I have made any in that aspect.


	7. Chapter 5

It was already sixty degrees on the early June day as Jethro jogged three laps around the high school football field with his son beside him. It was the first day of Tony's "training" for football season. Tony was fortunate enough to not lose his spleen from the accident that nearly claimed his life months ago. Since he was young he was a quick healer, determined to be ready and in tip-top shape for football season. After the doctor had given both Jethro and Tony the ok for proceed with "practice" Jethro had outlined Tony and his mornings for the entire summer in preparation for the fall.

Tony would be entering sixth grade in the coming school year and as a family they had decided that they would start to try and wean Tony off his ADHD medication. It was because of this that Jethro had started each morning and evening with practice, to help the boy ingrain important plays to memory, knowing his attention span was similar in length to that of a gold fish's.

"Dad, look, the grass is wet," Tony commented, shuffling his feet more than actually running.

Jethro looked out to the field, the sun just starting to peek out from the horizon. It was true, the grass was wet, but both Tony and he had cleats on so that should not be a problem. He took a quick peek down at the boy who was surprisingly keeping up, though he was speed walking more than jogging at the moment.

In the time span of Jethro's absence Tony had grown a year older and sprouted another three inches, no longer one of the shortest boys in the school. He was now to Jethro's shoulder, standing at 5'0 and growing. He was still definitively lanky though, his feet and legs longer than he was used to, tripping over himself half the time. Coordination was another skill Jethro had decided they needed to work on.

"Alright buddy, let's sprint the last half," Jethro said, speeding up a bit.

Jethro jogged the rest of the way, his long legs, still too long for Tony to keep up with, while Tony sprinted towards the finish line. He threw his hands in the air as if he won a marathon earning an eye roll from Jethro.

"Is practice over?" Tony asked looking up at his dad.

Jethro laughed out loud. "Nope. We're just getting started, Kiddo."

Tony grinned, picking up the football that Jethro had tossed to the side at the start, "Good, because I want to spend more time with you!"

Jethro smiled, grabbing the boy's head and tucking into his side affectionately, before pushing it away. Together they walked towards the park just as the high school football team made their way towards their field. Tony looked up in awe at the boys who were in full football attire until they had passed. Jethro had to stop momentarily waiting for the boy to catch back up rolling his eyes at the drool practically falling from Tony's mouth.

"One day Dad, I'm going to be captain of the high school varsity team," Tony decided right then and there as he walked besides his dad.

Jethro gleamed with pride rubbing the boy's head affectionately, "You are more than capable of doing anything you put your mind to, son."

Jethro began with the basics of throwing a football accurately, patiently fetching the ball every time Tony threw short or threw too far. Jethro kneeled down besides his son, placing his son's fingers in the right place before demonstrating the clear fire way to throw a spiral. It took Tony only fifteen minutes before he had gotten the hang of it, whoops and hollers of glee accompanying each pass that Jethro caught.

By the end of the hour Tony was throwing the football at Jethro who was jogging left or right in attempt to better Tony's aim. As expected, Tony had a naturally good arm as well as aim. Jethro, who had been a quarterback, on his football team until he had gotten kicked off, was sure it was genetic.

"Ok, I think that's enough for today," Jethro said catching the football one last time.

By now the sun was already fully out and the playground on the other side of the park was already buzzing with children. Yet, Tony jogged over to his dad, who was standing a good 12 feet away from him, and yanked the ball from under the older man's arm pleading for one last throw.

Tony stuck his lower lip out, ignoring the bead of sweat that plopped onto it from his hair. Jethro shook his head, but smiled. "Ok, one more throw. Last one, Tony!"

Tony smiled and threw a spiral high into the air. Jethro looked up before leaping into the air, catching the ball with little effort. Tony pumped his fists in the air in victory, little cries of happiness walloped through the air.

Jethro watched as his son celebrated happily, a grin plastered on his own face. It was in times such as this one that reminded Jethro just how much he had missed in his one and a half year absence. The joy and laughter that his son and daughter both possessed just amazed Jethro to no end. Their ability to live in the moment surpassed any and all understanding, Jethro was sure of it. Their smiles were so contagious, even when they were at their sickest, when they smiled, Jethro couldn't help but do the same. Even at his angriest Tony and Kelly were able to melt the marine's heart of stone, even if he was mad at them.

Jethro plopped down underneath the shade, water bottle in hand, as he watched Tony scurry off to the playground to show his father his newest trick: a pull up. Jethro watched as Tony effortlessly pulled himself up, his smile never disappearing. Jethro clapped while wondering in amazement how his son could be smiling so often when he found that most of his smiles were forced. Come to think of it, the only times they weren't forced, Jethro realized, was when he was with his family. Watching Tony pull himself up five more times with apparent ease, the smile never leaving his face, he realized why. It was the overwhelming love for his family that spilled out of every orifice in his body that allowed him to forget the misery he had seen over his lifetime. It was the laughter of his children and the kisses Shannon showered him with that forced his normally despondent face to twist muscles upward to form a smile.

"Come on, Tony. I promised your mom I'd have you home by eight for breakfast!" Jethro called out standing.

Tony nodded, practically sprinting towards him. Jethro simply shook his head, unsure of where the boy got his energy. Together they walked back to their house, two blocks away. Jethro's arm slung over Tony's shoulder, equipment slung over his other shoulder while Tony tossed the ball lightly into the air.

Shannon had spotted the approaching duo from the kitchen window and grabbed her camera taking a snap shot of the two as they came up the driveway and into the laundry room. From besides her, Kelly ran up to greet her father who grabbed her and raised her above his head.

Shannon yelped out as Tony grabbed her in a tight hug, the sweat soaking through even some of her clothes. Jethro laughed as both his girls wrinkled their nose in disgust.

"Daddy, you smell gross!" Kelly said her fingers clenched her nose shut.

"You do too, Tony," Shannon said mimicking Kelly.

Jethro set Kelly down placing his hands to his hip in disbelief. "After being gone for two hours this is how we're greeted?" He asked in mock anger.

"Yeah!" Tony huffed out, standing in front of his mother with an accusing look on his face.

Both Gibbs women looked at each other and nodded, expressions of aspiration clearly written on their faces. "Um…yeah!" Kelly said with a shake of the head.

At five Kelly's hair was still a strawberry kissed blonde in the summer due to her hours of running around outside with Tony. It was curly, something which surprised both parents who both had straight hair. Her eyes were her father's, though they were a brighter shade of blue; ever dancing and twinkling just like her brother's.

"Morning Jethro, Shannon, kids," Charles McGrath waved from the sidewalk interrupting the intense staring match the family was currently engaged in.

Charles and his wife, Mildred were taking their usual morning walk around the neighborhood. It was a typical sight for them, whenever the patriarch of the Gibbs' family was home, to see the family outside doing something or another together. They were the first neighbors to welcome the family into the neighborhood and subsequently the closest to the family, although it didn't take being close to the family to observe the close family dynamics that was clearly transparent. They were a tight knit one, and at first both Charles and Mildred looked upon the young couple and their children with slight trepidation warning the young couple that the neighborhood didn't need a bunch of hooligan children raising children. However, after the hour spent with the family, both realized that these parents had it down pat better than most twice their age.

From the outside looking in Jethro and Shannon were the best parents any child could ask for. They placed their children above everything, even themselves at times. Their love for each other was overwhelmingly obvious, and the love and respect their children had for their parents were rare in this day and age. No, Charles and Mildred realized that this family was indeed very special, and it was with this family that the generation gap was squished and friendship was formed.

"Morning Charles, Mildred!" Shannon waved with a smile.

"Morning!" Jethro said, turning to face them.

"Dad's teaching me to play football, Charles," Tony said with a smile.

Tony trotted over to the sidewalk where he shook Charles' hand and gave Mildred a quick hug and kiss on the cheek.

"My goodness, you're sweaty! That must have been some lesson, Mildred said looking past Tony over to Jethro who shrugged sheepishly.

"I'm sorry to get my sweat on you, Mildred," Tony apologized.

Charles carefully scooped Kelly up, his face breaking into a grin as the little girl gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Mommy and me were making the boy's breakfast," Kelly said proudly. "But they came back stinky and so they'll probably have to shower because the rules are you have to be clean when you sit down at the table."

"Those are good rules," Mildred said from besides Charles, winking over at Shannon. "What did you and your mother cook, Sweetheart?"

"I helped mom make pancakes!" at this Tony whooped out before whirling around and running inside the house.

The adults all shared a laugh. Shannon and Jethro walked towards the elderly couple a sheepish expression on their face. By now Mildred and Charles were well aware of Tony's spastic behavior and it was easier not to apologize and save their breaths, especially when it came to Tony just being Tony.

"Well, we should leave you four to your breakfast then," Charles said placing the little girl back on the driveway.

Kelly gave Mildred a quick hug before walking towards the house, yelling at Tony to hurry up because she was hungry.

"You'll have to excuse them," Shannon apologized with they heard Tony's screams clearly…from the bathroom…located on the second floor of the house.

Charles shook Jethro's hand and Jethro placed a kiss on Mildred's cheek before Shannon exchanged hugs with both. They asked about Tony's recovery, and of Kelly's upcoming piano recital. In reality both Charles and Mildred did their best to be involved in the children's lives, finding it impossible to not become attached the Gibbs' children. The two were at every one of Tony's basketball games and were at the few dance recitals Kelly had already participated in. They were unafraid to steal the children away from Shannon whenever they noticed Shannon having a hard time during Jethro's absence, or when they noticed that the parents needed time to themselves. When Tony got hurt they were very much a part of Tony's recovery, seeing that they helped the young family in any way they could.

"You two have yourselves a good day now you hear," Charles ordered with a smile as they waved good-bye.

Then Jethro and Shannon walked into the house. Jethro took a quick shower before settling down into the kitchen ten minutes later. He ordered Shannon and Kelly to sit down at the table after thanking them for the food. Together, Tony and he poured orange juice into Shannon and Kelly's glasses, and placed the food on the table. Kelly said a quick grace before they dug into their breakfast.

Together father and mother listened to their children tell them their plans for the day. Breakfast was a normal occurrence at the Gibbs' household. Jethro and Shannon had instilled that from the day they got married. It wasn't rushed like lunch was, but rather it was calm. It was one of Shannon's rules for the family: rule number 2 – a family that eats together, stays together.

* * *

A/N - I want to thank you all sincerely for the reviews! I was thinking of re-writing the last chapter since I didn't get any feedback on it, so maybe it was a little weak or could use some work.

-Liz


	8. Chapter 6 pt 1

Jethro stood back proudly admiring his newest assembled piece of work. It had been the object of discussion for years now and finally Shannon had relented to Jethro's qualms and allowed him to buy their son his birthday present: a drum set. It had taken weeks preparing for their arrival, mostly by soundproofing the attic and rearranging Tony's growing collection of furniture in his room to make space for the drum set.

It had taken Jethro over two years since that "Christmas" when he bought Tony private lessons to convince Shannon that drums would be a good addition to Tony's collection of instruments. Apparently, while he had been deployed, Tony had picked up the guitar while waiting for his drum lessons and he had been hooked ever since. For his last birthday they had bought him an acoustic electric and for a while both parents thought that Tony had forgotten about the drums. However, last Christmas, Tony had brought up Jethro's forgotten promise of a drum set and now, two years and eight months later, Jethro had finally made good on the promise.

"My question is how on earth we let you have a couch in here in the first place," Jethro said glancing over at the couch, which held a good few weeks of dirty laundry.

"Well, remember when I got into that car accident, and it was too hard to keep going up and down the stairs to get to the television in the family room…" Tony asked clapping Jethro's shoulder from behind.

At twelve years old to the day Tony's voice no longer had the apparent squeak that most little boy's had. Instead, it was starting its descent into manhood, becoming lower and lower. In the year and a couple of months that Jethro had been home Tony had grown another three inches making him a mere four inches shorter than his mother. At 5'3 Tony was rapidly growing into a fine young man. He no longer wanted to look exactly like his father, which was fine with Jethro who had no problem with Tony's current hair cut, as long as it "didn't go past his shoulders." Tony's clothes too, were now of his own choosing, though there were times where one or both parents had to put a foot down and ordered him to wear more appropriate attire or to do laundry more often.

However, there were things that didn't change. Tony still demanded his parents' attention constantly, always seeking their approval in everything he did. He certainly did have the same spastic energy if only channeled in more appropriate ways. His love for sports had only increased and Shannon had found herself wishing more and more that Tony could drive himself to all the practices and activities the boy was involved with. At home, Tony was still the best older brother to Kelly, though he refused to play dolls with her now, instead their hangouts now consisted of more movie dates in which Tony would free up his nights and he would sit with Kelly and together they'd watch movies. During those nights he'd ask Shannon and Jethro to take messages for him while he'd sit undisturbed with his sister in the living room, or in those rare times that he actually cleaned his room, his room.

"You need to clean this room. Tonight," Jethro said wrinkling his nose at the catastrophe before him.

"Dad, let me express myself," Tony stated. He followed it up by fishing a pair of drumsticks from the bottom of the smile mountain of clothes besides Jethro's feet and headed towards the drum set.

He started with a quick beat before going off into an intense drum solo that left Jethro's head reeling at just how quickly his son's leg was moving to keep up the double bass.

"Man it sounds great!" Tony said with a grin as his right hand closed around the cymbal to end the ringing.

"It sounds loud," Jethro huffed out, but smiled in agreement.

"Oh. My. Goodness…" Shannon's jaw dropped when she reached the top stair.

Tony looked up and winced to see his mother standing at the top of the stairs. He took a glanced around the room noting the month's worth of laundry that he had been taking clothes out from just to the side of where his mother was standing. On top of the tv were old cans of pop that he had been too lazy to bring down. The three wastebaskets around the room were overflowing with wrappers and old chip bags.

"Mom it's not that bad…" Tony started standing up.

"Yes. It is, Anthony!" Shannon snapped her eyes blazing.

"Jethro, you set that thing up, while his room looked like this?" Shannon demanded. She walked a little further in, tripping on a forgotten textbook on the floor. "Where the heck is my carpet?"

"I told him he needs to clean the room by tonight," Jethro offered, though he knew it would do nothing when Shannon was in one of her states.

"No!" Shannon said shaking her head furiously. Her eyes snapped over to Tony who shrunk away visibly. "You will have this room cleaned NOW! It should have been cleaned an hour ago when your father set that up," Shannon stated heading back down the stairs.

She was muttering to herself though the words "pig" and "disgusting" were clearly audible.

Jethro looked over at Tony who was clasping his neck looking around the room finally taking it in for the first time. His eyes landed on his father who simply held his hands up in surrender and shook his head. Quickly Jethro made his way out of the room before Tony could recruit him to help and made his way downstairs to where he could currently hear the sounds of Shannon banging some pots and pans downstairs.

Jethro sighed knowing that his time back at home was quickly dwindling. He had gotten the call three weeks ago stating that his services would be required overseas once again. He was set to deploy the day after tomorrow and yet things at home had been much different than his last deployment. Tony had refused to talk about his deployment, talking about anything and everything under the sun but that, Kelly cried every time he left the room, sure that he wouldn't return, and Shannon, well Shannon was short with everyone, especially him.

"Can I help you with anything?" Jethro asked entering the kitchen hesitantly.

"No," Shannon huffed out, dicing the tomatoes carelessly.

"Don't you think your freak out on Tony was a little…much?" Jethro ventured.

He stopped in his tracks when Shannon glared at him murderously. Shannon took a deep breath, stopping momentarily before continuing on with her preparations. Minutes later she huffed out another, "No."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jethro tried again.

"Jethro, there's nothing to talk about," Shannon replied coolly.

At that moment Kelly walked into the kitchen taking in the scene before her. At seven she was Daddy's little princess. Her blonde curls had been replaced by brown ones, and the freckles that once littered her face were now disappearing giving way to a beautiful young girl.

Her eyes were not dancing for the moment as she saw the tears that had pooled in her mother's eyes and took in her father's tense stance. Carefully, as if she was walking in a minefield she tentatively walked over to the refrigerator to grab an apple. Both parents were silent, not wanting to argue in front of the child.

"Is there something wrong?" Kelly asked worriedly. "Does daddy have to leave earlier?"

Shannon shook her head, unable to look at either one of them for the moment.

"Go get cleaned up for dinner," Shannon ordered. "And quit spoiling your appetite!" Shannon snapped suddenly.

Kelly frowned exchanging a teary look with her father. Her mother never yelled at her. Yet, her mother did, and she didn't even feel like she did anything wrong. Jethro gave her a sympathetic glance but said nothing leaving the poor girl to head up the stairs sullenly. Once they heard the sounds of Kelly's room clicking shut Jethro began once more, though his voice not nearly as hesitant as before.

"Shannon, don't take it out on the kids," Jethro ordered.

"I'm not!" Shannon yelled, slamming the knife down on the counter.

Jethro chose that moment to close the gap between the two grabbing Shannon into his arms and pulling her close allowing her to finally collapse into his arms. There he stood comforting his wife letting her tears soak through his thin t-shirt as he glided his fingers through her silk red hair.

"Damn it Jethro, you're leaving me again..."

"It's the last time, Baby," Jethro whispered in her ear. "It's the last time, and then I'm done, Baby."

"I just keep remembering when you left and Tony and Kelly got sick, and you came home with a concussion. I'm just really scared about this time. What happens if it's more than just a concussion? What happens if Tony and Kelly get sick again? You promised I wouldn't have to do it on my own anymore…" Shannon whispered through hiccupped cries.

"Nothing will happen to me," Jethro reassured her. "Baby, I'll come home and then I won't re-enlist. I'll find myself a civilian job and we'll live normal lives."

"When is it ever that easy, Jethro?" Shannon laughed out bitterly.

Jethro sighed knowing the answer was never. He didn't graduate from college or anything and the only real skill he had was a skill that intimidated most people. He was a marine who for the past couple of months or so had been the platoon sergeant for the new recruits in Washington. His job consisted of yelling in people's faces and reminding them that they were one below the scum of the universe. Before that his job was to kill people. What civilian job could he possibly get with only those two on his résumé? Still, for his family he'd find a way to make it work. He did promise that he would not leave again, and with this deployment he was already breaking that promise. There was no way he was going to be breaking anymore.

* * *

A/N - This chapter is going to be split into 3 and I thought this was a good stopping point despite it being significantly shorter than the other chapters.


	9. Chapter 6 pt 2

"Happy birthday dear Tony, happy birthday to you!" Kelly shrieked above both parents as she clapped her hands happily watching as Shannon placed the cake in front of her older brother.

Tony's eyes danced with excitement as the candles flickered about. They had just finished eating dinner - a different array of all of Tony's favorites – and for dessert Shannon had spent the day baking Tony's favorite cake, double chocolate with chocolate icing.

"Make a wish, Sweetheart," Shannon said kissing the top of the boy's head.

Shannon stood behind Jethro, her hands resting upon his shoulders, both watching as Tony thought long and hard for the perfect wish. On Jethro's lap Kelly wiggled around anxiously, excited for the chocolate treat that waited just beneath the candles.

Tony, however, was in his own world. He knew what the perfect wish would be, but he knew that even just thinking it made him a selfish brat. Fifteen months. That's how long his father would be gone. At least they gave the family an exact timeline this time, but even then it wasn't fair. Tony thought about all the other boys whose fathers would be home for Christmas this year – home for the first football game of the season. His mind wandered to his next birthday where he would be thirteen celebrating with just his mother and sister. He shuddered at the thought that "the talk" would inevitably happen soon because other boys were already getting it, realizing that he'll more than likely get the talk from his mother. How was any of it fair? How was he leaving to go to another country fair? The country needed him? Yeah, well Tony needed his father! Tony tried to shove the feelings back from his train of thought. At a young age, especially as a military brat you learn how to keep those types of thoughts to yourself.

"Are you ok, Tony?" Jethro asked seeing the array of emotions surfacing quickly.

Tony's eyes were bright, but the tears didn't fall. Instead, he blinked them back giving his father a reassuring smile before blowing out the candles with one breath.

"May I please be excused?" Tony asked, his voice suddenly coarse with unshed tears.

"Tony?" Jethro asked worriedly.

"Please?" the sudden shift of emotions startled both parents.

"Yeah, sure honey," Shannon finally said.

Shannon attempted to reach out to her son as he passed only to have him shrug away her hand before climbing up the stairs. Silence overcame the once happy dining room as Kelly looked up at her father, confusion clearly written on her face. Shannon and Jethro exchanged worried looks over Kelly's head unsure of what to do. Seconds later the sounds of Black Sabbath filled the house as Tony blasted his speakers the best he could.

"I'll go talk to him," Jethro finally said placing Kelly back into her own seat.

Jethro took the stairs a lot slower than Tony did, unsure of exactly what to say to his son. Just a couple hours ago Shannon had been a crying wreck in his arms and he had to bring her to their room where she cried out her fears of his departure. Tony had walked in bewildered and horrified to see tears not only streaming down from his mother's eyes but his father's as well. He had stumbled out and not said anything, but his expression said it all. When confronted a couple of minutes later Tony had shrugged it off and told Jethro that he understood and he was sorry for walking in without knocking. He even went as far as to take Kelly out to the park for an hour to give his parents alone time.

Jethro knocked on the door, but walked right in figuring the music drowned out the sound. At the landing he found Tony lying on his bed on his stomach, a pillow curled up under his arms. His body was shaking quietly, his sobs muted by the loud music emanating from the speakers besides the television. Jethro sighed and went over to turn off the radio before walking over to his son's bed. He sat besides Tony's crumpled form rubbing circles on the boy's back but said nothing. It had been awhile since he had heard Tony cry. The last time was just after Tony's accident during physical therapy where the boy had overworked himself and had ended up collapsing at the end of it.

"I'm sorry I'm being such a baby," Tony mumbled into the pillow with a sniffle.

"Hey, you're not being a baby. Your mom and I just got worried that's all. Why you crying on your birthday buddy?" Jethro asked his voice soft as he continued on with his ministrations.

After a few more minutes of sniffles Tony finally turned over to face Jethro. His eyes were bloodshot from the tears, his hair tousled, making him look suddenly years younger.

"I made a selfish wish," Tony finally whispered ashamed.

Jethro's eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. If he had to describe Tony in 1000 single words "selfish" was not one of them. The boy was the opposite of selfish. He was so selfless in fact that it irritated both Jethro and Shannon who on more than one occasion had found out the boy had given away his lunch to the poor kid, or had given his bike to someone else who needed it.

"What was it?" Jethro asked.

Tony looked down at his sheets, taking a part into his fingers and rubbing it between them as he tried to figure out how to say it without his father being disappointed.

"It's alright Tony," Jethro encouraged when Tony didn't speak up.

".I wished for you to stay," Tony finally mumbled. "I'm sorry. I know the country needs you and everything…"

Whatever Tony might have said afterwards Jethro cut off; he picked the boy's head up from his chest, his fingers beneath his chin to stop him from turning away. Tony's eyes, which were still bright red from the tears, were already pooling a fresh set.

"It's not selfish of you to want me to stay, buddy. I want to stay too," Jethro said pulling the boy into a tight hug.

Tony wrapped his arms around Jethro his face buried deep within his father's body where a few more tears slipped out.

"I'm going to miss you," Tony cried out.

Jethro sighed rubbing circles on the boy's back. "Yeah, kiddo, I'm going to miss you too. I think about you everyday whenever I'm gone, you know. Not a single minute goes by when I don't think about you kids or your mother. You're right though. The country does need me."

"I need you more," Tony whispered sadly.

The defeated tone in Tony's voice broke Jethro's heart in ways he didn't think was possible. Tears sprang to his eyes at the revelation. In his mind he had justified his leave because he knew that Tony was a strong kid and that he adapted to each situation thrown at him very well. Tony took care of Kelly and even Shannon. At twelve Tony was more adult than Jethro was at eighteen. It was so easy to forget how young Tony really was.

"I know," Jethro whispered brokenly.

"Dad, don't cry," Tony said pulling away to wipe the tears from Jethro's eyes.

"Sorry Tony. I just forget sometimes how old you really are. You know my duty is to you first, always, right?" Jethro asked searching Tony's eyes.

Tony looked away shaking his head. "No dad, your duty is to your country first. It's ok though because I understand."

"You shouldn't have to," Jethro sighed.

"But I do. And mom does and even Kelly," Tony stated.

Silence filled the room as both were lost in thought. Tony had settled back into his father's arms allowing the smell of bourbon and saw dust from the obnoxious carpentry project he had started downstairs to penetrate his nostrils engraining the scent to memory. In two days his father left and he would once again have to become the man of the house. He would spend the next fifteen months taking care of Kelly and sweeping up and taking over his father's chores the best he could while his father was away serving his country.

"I'm sorry to have to put you through this again Tony. But I promise you son, I'm not leaving you ever again," Jethro finally said breaking the silence.

"When you get home we can be a family for real," Tony stated confidently.

It would only be years later that Tony would realize just how wrong he truly was at that moment.

* * *

A/N - It's not long, but I needed to write something or else this story would die in my mind. I'm sorry for such a late update. I had 4 midterms last week, 3 papers, and 1 final. I hope you guys find it in your hearts to forgive me and please review. I thrive on reviews a little more than I should as a writer and really I do enjoy your feedback. Thanks once again

P.S. to PAL - I love you sooo much and your obnoxious review. If you're still reading this I'm impressed. And nope you don't get a sneak peak to the next chapter. to the rest of you all please ignore whatever obnoxious thing he does say. He's the boyfriend.

-Liz

P.P.S. I know where the story is going and after much debate it's going to be seperate from the story I have in my profile. Originally it was going to be a prequel to that one, but this well be a stand alone fic more or less.


	10. Chapter 7

The front door slammed shut surprising Shannon who had dozed off in the living room. She barely had the opportunity to blink away the sleep when Tony stomped passed her, unaware of her presence, or simply not caring, and made his way towards the kitchen, a scowl plastered on his face.

Fifteen months had been extended even longer and it was looking more and more like they would be spending a third Christmas in a row without Jethro. At fourteen Tony was a freshman in high school and settling well into the moody teenage persona, much to Shannon's disdain. Seemingly overnight her sweet little boy had turned into a full-fledged teenager complete with temper tantrums and hormones that had placed both of them in seemingly awkward circumstances.

The sounds of the refrigerator door slamming shut brought Shannon out of her own reverie and into action. She walked towards the inevitable battle that was seemed to always happen as of late whenever Tony and she were in the same room.

"Hey honey, what's up?" Shannon asked passing by Tony in practiced nonchalance.

"Nothing," Tony said predictably slamming a cupboard shut.

Shannon watched as Tony yanked the refrigerator door open once more, taking out the lemonade and pouring himself a generous helping before leaving it on the counter.

"Tony, put that away," Shannon instructed, pointing to the lemonade standing on the counter.

Tony, who was already halfway out of the kitchen, whirled around, an annoyed sneer on his face. Shannon pretended to ignore it as Tony reluctantly placed the lemonade back into the refrigerator.

The sound of the front door opening distracting Shannon allowed Tony a chance to escape. He took the stairs two at a time ignoring the yells of his sister, who at nine was a lot more annoying than he had ever given her credit for.

"Tony!" Kelly yelled at Tony's retreating form.

Kelly stomped into the kitchen a frustrated look on her face as she plopped down at the table across from her mother. Kelly looked over to her mother attempting to give her a reassuring smile only to fail miserably.

"Hey Kells," Shannon sighed out offering the younger girl a cookie from the cookie jar resting in the middle of the table.

"Did Tony tell you what happened?" Kelly asked taking a bite of the cookie.

Shannon shook her head helping herself to another cookie. "Nope. What happened?"

Kelly's eyes grew huge as they danced around excited to share the juicy gossip with her mother. It had been the talk of the school and despite the fact she had been angry that her brother was the newest subject of conversation she said nothing to the other girls in her class. Fourth grade after all was a miniature Galapagos Islands and only the strongest survived.

"So there's this new father son camping trip that the school is hosting for all the boys in Tony's class. Apparently Robert Filmore was making fun of Tony because Tony is the only one who can't go and Tony snapped at him and punched him in the face! You should have seen Robert's face!" Kelly exclaimed.

"WHAT?" Shannon asked nearly yelling in surprise.

Shannon looked over at the phone, which was not hanging on the receiver as it was supposed to. Instead it was dangling near the wall from when Tony had accidentally knocked it off its receiver on the way to school earlier that morning.

"Kelly, go do homework. Dinner is at five. I'm going to go talk to your brother," Shannon sighed giving Kelly a kiss on the forehead as she passed the girl.

"Mommy you shouldn't be too hard on Tony. He really misses dad…" Kelly noted sadly.

Shannon shook her head cursing Jethro once more for not being here during Tony's teenage years. Fifteen months was hell. The fact that Jethro had only come home for two weeks before being sent right back for another six months was just downright torture on the family, especially on Tony. On Tony's thirteenth birthday Tony had asked Shannon to skip on the cake and on his fourteenth he had forgotten it was even his birthday to begin with. Shannon was becoming increasingly worried for her eldest as he slipped further and further into an odd depression that did not fit the boy she knew so well.

Shannon knocked on the door before slowly walking up the stairs. She found Tony sitting on his couch, clothes pushed aside, watching his favorite James Bond movie. She moved towards the couch causing Tony's eyes to flicker towards her before giving a big sigh and stopping the movie.

"I take it Kelly told you," Tony said not looking at Shannon.

"Baby, do you want me to call grandpa? I'm sure he'd love to go camping with you," Shannon started.

"Grandpa Gibbs? No thanks ma" Tony said shaking his head.

"You know we're going to have to discuss this new found temper of yours right?" Shannon said sitting down on the other side of the worn couch.

"Robert Filmore is a dick."

"And this new found choice of words," Shannon added giving Tony a stern look.

"HE IS!" Tony shouted. "Whatever, he deserved it. I should have hit him harder."

"Anthony Jethro Gibbs! Hitting people is not the proper way to handle any sort of problems. Your father and I have never laid a finger on you and we expect you to do the same!" Shannon scolded.

"Dad's hit me over the head," Tony pointed out heatedly.

"Your father has never caused you any pain in doing so and you very well know that mister," Shannon countered.

"Whatever. I don't even care."

Shannon watched as Tony jumped up from the couch pacing the length of the room fuming mad. Shannon noted that Tony was in dire need for a hair cut though she doubted this was the time to bring up such an issue.

"You will care, Anthony. You will call that poor boy and apologize. The nerve you have…"

"No! I will not call that boy and apologize. He was going around the school saying dad left us! Telling everyone that dad was less of a man because that's what his father said. What the fuck is that?" Tony screamed out.

"Anthony!"

"I'm sorry, but that's the appropriate word for it," Tony huffed out having enough decency to blush when his mother gave him an absolutely appalled look.

"Call that boy, by tonight Anthony. And you are grounded until I figure out what to do with you. Absolutely unbelievable. Do you think that this is the kind of news your father wants to hear when he calls?" Shannon asked the boy.

"Whatever, it's not like he cares anyway! He's off serving his stupid country that don't even give two craps if he dies," Tony said darkly stalking past Shannon. "I'm going for a run!"

"The hell you are Anthony!" Shannon yelled back trying to reach Tony.

They both flew down the stairs, Shannon following Tony. Tony already had his shoes on ready to go out the door when Shannon stepped in front of him, arms crossed over her chest, staring nearly eye to eye with her fourteen year old boy.

"Please ma. Just let me go!" Tony pleaded tears in his eyes.

Shannon found her resolve falling away as she looked into Tony's pleading hazel eyes, bright with unshed tears. Shannon sighed glancing at the wall clock behind Tony.

"Dinner is at five, so you better be home by four thirty. Take your usual route. One minute later and I swear Anthony I will drag you back here by your ears," Shannon warned stepping aside.

"Yeah, thanks ma," Tony said giving Shannon a peck on the cheek before heading off into the cold December weather.

"Boy's going to be the death of me!" Shannon sighed walking towards the kitchen to start dinner.

--

Five o'clock had gone and past and it was already five thirty when Shannon had decided to go out and hunt Tony down to make good on her threat. Tony was more than an hour late and dinner had already started to get cold. Kelly had stared taken to staring out the window in hopes to spot Tony, but the sudden blizzard that had rolled in made it impossible to see across the street.

"Kelly I just called Maddy's parents. I'm going to go drop you off over there for awhile is that ok?" Shannon asked handing her youngest her jacket.

"I get to play with Maddy on a weekday? SCORE!" Kelly shrieked running to put on her boots.

It didn't take long to usher Kelly into the SUV and to Maddy's house thanking Bennie for taking care of Kelly on such short notice. She was on the road again by six after making a quick stop at the house to see if Tony had come back.

She drove slowly around the neighborhood hoping to spot her wayward teen. By now the snow was blowing and the darkness as well as cold was settling in. Her gut was churning as she turned onto another street heading out of the safety of the small neighborhood and into the shadier parts of the town.

"Come on Tony, where are you?" Shannon asked out loud taking yet another turn.

On the last corner of the block she found a little blob that she almost missed, blending in with the trees. She quickly put the car in park before running over towards Tony, who was crouching behind a tree. Tentatively she reached out a hand towards him only to have the boy jump before yanking her down to his level.

"Sh!" Tony commanded in such a voice that Shannon did not say anything.

Tony pointed across the way and Shannon could barely make out two figures who were in the wooded area in a heated argument. She watched for a little more when suddenly one produced a gun. She took Tony's head into her chest covering his ears just as the sound of gunfire went off. Both mother and son were silent and when Shannon glanced down she realized Tony had seen the entire thing as well.

They stayed there for another 10 minutes until the man had dragged the other man's body deeper in the forest. Once out of sight Shannon dragged Tony towards the car both saying nothing as she headed back for home.

Shannon could see Tony visibly shaking and whether it was from the cold or from what he just saw she couldn't tell. Murder. That's what it was. They just witnessed a murder. All of a sudden she just wished Jethro were home because Jethro would know how to handle the situation. He would take over and promise their safety.

"Mom?" Tony questioned when they got to the house. "Should we call anyone?"

Shannon looked over and saw the tears in Tony's eyes. He was shaking helplessly in his seat, his snot dribbling down his nose.

"Tony you say NOTHING of this to anyone. I will call it in, but under no circumstance will you be involved. If anyone asks I saw it while searching for you, but you were NOT there. Promise me that Tony. You will not breathe a word of it to anyone, especially not over the phone" Shannon said taking her son's face into her hands shaking it in hopes of comprehension.

"Mom, are you sure?" Tony questioned. "I can handle it mom."

"No!" Shannon said with a shake of the head. "Promise me Anthony. Please!"

Tony searched his mother's eyes and what he saw scared him, yet reassured him. There was a protectiveness there that though usually present was intensified by ten-fold. He realized what they just witnessed and realized his mother would have to call it in, but what he also saw was fear, and intense amount of unadulterated fear. What exactly was his mother scared of, he wasn't sure, but there was something in her tone that left no room for disobedience.

Tony nodded, "I promise mom."

* * *

A/N: Reviews were what prompted this chapter in my mind. Anyways, the LAST chapter of this story was written yesterday after a series of reviews just kept inspiring me to write, so I DO have it all planned out. Although, I'm not sure how everyone will feel about the plot twist. Also, if you go to my profile I have links of how I feel Tony and Shannon progressed over the years. Keep in mind these are random photos that I have absolutely no credit for. Thanks once again, and please continue your reviews they are absolutely wonderful!

Liz


	11. Chapter 8

"Tony, I called your school. I asked them to reschedule your detention so that you can be home with Kelly when she gets home from school. You are to be here by the time that door opens and your little sister walks in, not five minutes later. Do I make myself clear?" Shannon asked placing a glass of orange juice in front of the teenager.

She was supposed to go to NIS today to give a statement about the murder Tony and her witnessed. She had called the local law enforcements the second they had gotten home and had described to them in great detail what had happened, minus the part where Tony was another material witness. After the body was found it was discovered to be a marine and the case had been handed over to NIS. The agent in charge, Michael Franks, had called her earlier that morning requesting that she come in around 2 p.m. to speak to him.

"Yes, mom," Tony said looking over at the little munchkin besides him. "Are you going to go do your thing?" Tony asked trying to be as vague as possible.

"Yes I am, and I'd like to know that both my children are safely in the house if you don't mind," Shannon stated.

"Will do. Looks like it's just you and me munchkin," Tony said yanking an orange slice from the younger girl's plate.

Kelly looked up and glared at him, quickly stuffing the remaining orange slices in her mouth before he had a chance to steal anymore. Shannon rolled her eyes but said nothing quickly glancing over at the clock above the sink. The bus would be here to pick them up in five minutes.

After the incident some precautions had been made to ensure both the children's safety, and one of them was now requiring both busses to pick the children up straight from the driveway. Apparently it had become a high profile murder and with Shannon's witnessing the murder the navy may finally have a break in the high profile drug trafficking that was going on within the Marine Corps.

Shannon thanked Tony as he started to clear the table ordering Kelly to go upstairs and get stuff ready for class. Once she disappeared Tony came up to stand besides her, his 5'6 form allowing him to look straight ahead into his mother's eyes. At fourteen Tony's once sandy white blonde hair had turned into a more brownish color, darkening with each passing day. Shannon supposed that by the time Tony was done growing his hair would be the same brown hue of Jethro's.

Shannon brushed a stray piece of hair in Tony's line of vision off to the side, earning a bemused look from the teenager in question. Tony's newest hairdo was to drown his hair in half a bottle of gel spiking it in different directions. Despite spending nearly an hour each morning in the bathroom he came out looking more like he had just woken up than before he went in.

"You ok, mom?" Tony asked genuinely searching Shannon's eyes.

Shannon nodded shooing her son away. "I'm fine honey. How about you? Did you have anymore nightmares since…?"

The night after the incident Tony had come knocking on her door around two in the morning. His hair was plastered on his face, his shirt soaked, evident of his nightmare. He had asked shyly if he could spend the night with her and Shannon had ended up stroking the boy's hair, singing an old song that Jethro and she used to sing when he was a child. It had been years since Tony's last nightmare, but Shannon could barely blame the child. The rest of that night had been spent manning the two bedrooms in which her children laid asleep. Every hour she'd go to Kelly's room to check on her. Each time she was asleep, but Tony had woken up from two more nightmares before the sun had even begun to peak past the horizon. At five o'clock Tony had given up on sleep and for the first time in years Tony helped Shannon prepare breakfast.

"Some," Tony admitted quietly. "When is dad calling next?"

"I don't know, Sweetheart, but you know what I said," Shannon said warningly.

"Yeah, don't tell anyone. I got it mom," Tony said rolling his eyes.

"I'm ready!" Kelly yelled from the entryway interrupting the conversation.

"You should get ready too, Tone," Shannon said turning back to the dishes.

"So you're the one who witnessed the murder?" Mike Franks asked after offering Shannon a cup of water.

Shannon nodded taking in the man's disheveled appearance. He barely looked like he was holding it together, let alone capable of leading an investigation. However, he did look like someone who didn't exactly go by the books so to speak which oddly reassured Shannon.

"Says here your husband is fighting in the Gulf War right now. Two more months?" Franks questioned.

"Yeah," Shannon answered.

"I'm sorry. It must be rough right now," Mike said sympathetically.

"It's harder on my son more than anyone else," Shannon offered.

"How old is he?"

"Fourteen."

"I remember myself when I was fourteen. Rough year," Mike said looking down at the paperwork in front of him.

"And I thought thirteen was hard," Shannon said giving a half smile.

"Well Mrs. Gibbs it seems here that you are the material witness to a very important murder. With your testimony and your ability to ID the murderer we can proceed with not only this case, but ten other cold cases in which this was the prime suspect but no one could place him at any of the crime scenes," Mike started trying to chose his words carefully.

"I understand," Shannon stated.

"Do you think you will be able to ID the man in court Mrs. Gibbs?" Mike questioned.

"Yes, if it means justice for the poor man who got murdered and his family," Shannon reasoned.

"M'am as a safety precaution from now until the trial in two weeks we will have someone with you and your children," Mike started.

"What do you mean?" Shannon asked cutting him off.

"Mrs. Gibbs, what you witnessed was murder number eleven. Your testimony led us to where the body was right away allowed us enough time to get to the scene and grab the murderer. What your testimony gives us is a whole lot more than just murder. Do you understand that?" Mike asked carefully.

"My children will be…?"

"Safe, under NIS protective custody. As will you," Mike concluded.

"My husband?"

"He has been informed of the current situation. Depending on how things are going in the desert he should be calling you within the next couple of days," Mike replied.

"Then I guess I have to do it. But Agent Franks, you promise that my children will be safe?" Shannon asked studying Mike Franks' eyes.

Mike Franks' eyes hardened with determination. "I promise you Mrs. Gibbs, your children will be safe."

Shannon walked into the house to find Tony and Kelly in the kitchen table, books spread out amongst the table and floor, both totally engrossed in homework. Tony had finals the following week and Kelly had been really interested in the human body, which they were learning about in science.

Shannon turned to the two agents behind her who were standing awkwardly at the entryway. "Since it's snowing outside if you guys wouldn't mind taking off your shoes," Shannon said her eyes wandering to the clean hardwood flooring.

"Who are they?" Tony asked looking up from his homework.

Tony instinctively placed a protective arm around Kelly as he tried his best staring down the two men in the room. Tony's eyes landed on one of their guns barely peaking out of their pea coat. He got up to stand in front of Kelly's chair ignoring the little girl's frustrated sigh.

"They are here to protect us," Shannon said motioning them to step forward. "This is Henry," Shannon said pointing to the bald one, "And this one is David."

Henry was about a head taller than Tony, but that didn't stop the younger boy from trying to stare him down. Henry gave a smirk noting that the boy had spunk when he didn't back down despite Henry's most intimidating glare. Then again, the boy's father was a marine.

"We don't need protection," Tony stated glaring at his mom.

"Yes, we do Tony," Shannon said firmly.

"I can protect you guys," Tony argued.

"Tony, they will be staying with us until the trial is over," Shannon stated with finality.

"Whatever. Stay away from me and my sister," Tony huffed out pulling Kelly into his arms and carrying her up the stairs.

"Tony I can walk!" Kelly whined pushing against her brother.

Tony ignored the little girl's whines carrying her all the way up the stairs and into his room, slamming the door behind him. He placed her on the couch before starting to pace.

Did his mother not think he was capable of taking care of them? His father had asked him to take care of the girls, which was exactly what he was doing. Sure, he had made a couple of mistakes here and there but that didn't mean he needed any help taking care of them. His father didn't need help taking care of the family, which should he? Unless he wasn't capable enough…

The sounds of the door opening prompted Tony out of his thoughts. Henry came up the stairs stopping at the landing as if asking only now for permission for entrance. Kelly, who had turned on the tv by that time glanced over at the man curiously, though she made no attempt to move from her place.

"This is my room," Tony spat out.

"Wow, you are a teenager," Henry whistled.

"I can protect my family you know," Tony said standing straight up.

"It's not that easy kid," Henry started.

"I'm not a kid!" Tony practically yelled out. "I'm fourteen, and I'm in charge of protecting the girls when my dad's away. He would not want you guys here."

"We're not trying to take away your responsibilities Tony. We're just making sure you can do them. It'll be a lot easier to keep them safe with us around," Henry attempted.

Tony scowled but said nothing. Instead he turned away completely ignoring the agent to continue pacing the room. When Henry didn't leave five minutes later Tony stopped once more staring at the man in front of him.

"Is there something else I can do for you Henry?" Tony asked annoyed.

"I need to check your room over to make sure it's safe and I'd like to install a camera up here just in case," Henry said lifting up his arm to reveal a black briefcase.

Tony rolled his eyes but nodded at the guy. He plopped down besides Kelly who immediately crawled over to him lying her head on his chest.

"Why are they here, Tony?" Kelly whispered.

"Because they think I'm incapable of caring for you and mom," Tony sighed turning the television to Cartoon Network.

"You're the best Tony. I think you're very capable of it," Kelly told him before turning to watch the tv.

When Henry was done he went to stand behind Tony thinking of the proper words to reassure the obviously scared and threatened teen. It wasn't any easier for him to know that for the next two weeks he would be sharing a room with David, or with a strange family.

"We don't think your incapable of it kid," Henry finally said unable to think of any other profound words.

"Whatever."

* * *

A/N - Teenagers have mood swings. Tony's are just a little more intense but give the guy credit. Reviews are appreciated!!


	12. Chapter 9

"HELLO?" Jethro Gibbs' yelled into the phone.

The sounds of mass chaos behind him nearly drowned out the young gunny's voice never mind the sounds of his little girl's angelic soft voice, which he could barely understand. Something about men with suits staying in their house and Tony not liking them. He tried to understand, but the sound of random bombs going off behind him was really hindering his ability to keep up with the nine year old.

"Mom wants to talk to you now. Bye daddy. I love you!" Jethro's heart leapt into his throat as the angelic sounds of his daughter's voice faded away.

He heard Kelly handing Shannon the phone seconds before Shannon screeched at her to stop running in the house. Jethro gave a small laugh realizing that some things never do change.

Fifteen months had become twenty-eight long months with only a two-week break in between. Kelly's voice was now strong, annunciating each word correctly; her lisps virtually disappeared during his absence. Tony's voice was past its squeaking stage and random octave changes. Now Jethro could barely recognize his son's voice.

"Hey hun," Shannon's voice filtered through the receiver.

Even from thousands of miles away Jethro could pick up on the weary tired tone that Shannon tried so hard to hide. Immediately he grasped the phone tighter walking to the corner in attempt to drown out the sounds of the bombs.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Jethro asked immediately.

"Nothing for you to fret about Jethro. I'm just tired," Shannon sighed.

"Even from all the way over here I can spot the lie," Jethro said with a worried laugh. "Is everything alright?"

Shannon sighed taking a quick glance into the living room where Tony was patiently waiting for his turn to talk to his father. His eyes were glued to the television but Shannon knew that Tony was straining his ears the best he could to listen to their conversation. Kelly was besides him, telling him what she told her father and how much she missed him, unaware of the far away look in her brother's eyes.

David was on the couch besides the kids while Henry was in a car watching the house from the outside. It had only been two days since the men first came home with her and yet it had already felt like a lifetime. Tony had been too angry for words and even now he has yet to say more than one sentence to her, speaking only when absolutely necessary.

Truth be told, it was absolutely draining trying to keep up normal appearances when everything was so far from normal. At night sometimes she could hear Tony waking from a nightmare though he would not come into her room. Instead he would make his way down to the basement where Jethro had set up shop. She had found him down there one day asleep on top of a pile of boards Jethro argued would one day be a boat.

"NIS should be sending you a letter explaining the situation. I can't talk about it over the phone," Shannon finally sighed out.

"NIS? What happened?" Jethro asked his worries increasing ten-fold.

Why was NIS involved with his family? They investigated crimes, not normal American families with an ADHD teenager and a little girl who still believed she was a princess. His mind started to wander into all possible scenarios in which NIS would need to get involved with his family, his heart racing as each situation got progressively worse.

"I can't say Jethro," Shannon whispered.

"Are the children ok?" Jethro asked forming an immediate checklist in his mind.

"Yes. Well, Tony is handling it a lot worse than Kelly, but that's to be expected," Shannon noted.

"Are you guys in any trouble?" Jethro asked his eyes searching the small tent for his commanding officer.

He needed to get home. It was an emergency. His family needed him at the moment more than his country did. Yet, the sounds of random bombings seemed to be more important as the tent was more or less devoid of human life. Instead, he could hear his men outside, yelling and joking amongst themselves as they prepared for another night on duty.

"We will be fine, Jethro. We're under protective custody," Shannon offered.

Jethro was silent unsure of how to take in the information he was just offered. At least Kelly's ramblings about random men in the house made sense now. "I should be there," Jethro whispered.

"No, you should be there, protecting our country," Shannon reassured. "Baby, you're where God wants you to be."

"Damn it! I should be home, Shannon!" Jethro cried out, tears of anger springing to his eyes.

Because really what did it matter if he protected the country if he couldn't protect his own family. Anger and disgust rose from within at the thought that other men were doing what he couldn't do at the moment. Other men were protecting what he swore he'd protect against everything. The military meant nothing if he couldn't protect them. There was no way the God Shannon believed in actually wanted him here. No, going off to war was his own selfish martyr complex that left his family alone. There was no act of God in the decision whatsoever.

"But you're not Jethro. We're handling it on the home front. Just be safe ok?" Shannon asked defeatedly.

Tears were streaming down her own face as she hugged herself for comfort. It was only a minute conversation and yet they were at each other's throat. Jethro undoubtedly was already feeling a guilt that he shouldn't be feeling, and at the moment Shannon couldn't handle it. Shannon bitterly realized that she had to be strong even for Jethro. Her reserves were depleting rapidly and she knew begging Jethro to come home would do little to help the situation. She also knew that if she stayed on the phone any longer that's what would have happened. She would have begged Jethro to come home, begged him to just up and quit, and she knew that Jethro would. No matter the consequence Jethro would just pick up and leave if she asked him to. The temptation was too great. She needed him home now more than ever. She needed him to pick up the pieces and to protect the family in the way only Jethro knew how to. She wanted him to shake Tony of his teenage angst and make him the happy go lucky child he once was. She wanted him to hug Kelly and tuck her in again so she didn't wake up crying asking for him anymore. She wanted him to fix it. No, she needed him to fix it.

"I'm coming home now," Jethro stated to her. "Just wait ok, I'll be home in three weeks max. I'll talk to people, I'll call in favors, I'm going to be there to take care of you guys. I'm done."

"Jethro…" Shannon sighed.

"No, I'm not staying here when you guys need me there. I'll be home in three weeks max," Jethro stated with finality.

There was another minute of silence as both husband and wife thought of the implications of what Jethro just promised. Jethro himself felt more determined now more than ever to tell his commanding officer that he needed an emergency family leave which wasn't up for debate like all the other ones he was denied for.

"Tony," Jethro said shaking his head of his plans after hanging up the phone. "Let me talk to Tony, Shannon."

Shannon called for Tony who was at her side in an instant. He took the phone from her coolly after allowing her to say good-bye to Jethro. He walked as far away from her as the telephone cord would allow, slouching down in the corner of the kitchen, huddled in a little ball.

"Dad?" Tony greeted, a smile on his face.

Shannon sighed wondering why she couldn't make her boy smile like that. Jealousy coursed through her momentarily thinking of how much closer Tony was to his father despite the distance between the two. Turning away to avoid revealing her hurt Shannon made her way up to her room to lay in her bed.

"Tony-boy," Jethro greeted warmly. "You taking care of the girls?"

"I'm trying. Mom's not letting me though. She doesn't think I'm enough or something," Tony muttered darkly.

"Hey son, you know that's not true. Your mom is just doing her job too you know. Her job is to protect you and Kelly. That's her number one job. That's why those people are there," Jethro lectured trying his best to be the boy's voice of reason.

"I thought my job was to protect her?" Tony asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Tony, as grown up as you think you are, you're only fourteen. Your mother's job has and will always be to protect you," Jethro ran his fingers through his shaven hair, "I take it you're giving your mom a hard time then."

"No!" Tony said defensively.

"Yeah, your mom's been writing me of all the trouble you've been in lately," Jethro stated sternly.

"Mom's a tattletale," Tony pouted.

"Your mom is worried about you," Jethro stated.

Tony frowned. "Why?"

"Because she's your mother! Haven't you been listening to me, kiddo?" Jethro asked rolling his eyes.

"Tell her not to worry dad. I can take care of myself."

"Kid, your mom is your mom. She has worried about you since before you were born. She will continue to worry about you every day she lives. Hate to tell you, but that's how moms work."

Tony laughed. "I feel like this is one of those moments where I messed up and you're trying to be the voice of reason."

"Is it working?" Jethro asked hopeful with a small laugh.

"Slightly," Tony admitted. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be saying sorry to me, son. You didn't fault me," Jethro advised.

Private First Class Chirst popped his head into the tent, his face falling when he saw Jethro was still on the phone. Despite the temptation to ignore the almost pleading look the Private was sending Jethro he nodded mouthing "five minutes" before turning quickly back towards the phone conversation.

"Hey Tony, I have to run. I love you son. Take care of the girls," Jethro said sadly.

"I love you too dad. And I will," Tony promised.

"Give the phone to your mom real quick will you, son?" Jethro listened to the sound of Tony putting the phone down before distinctly shouting "mom" loud enough so even Private Chirst stuck his head back into the tent.

"Hello?" Shannon's voice came onto the phone.

"I have to run, I just wanted to say I love you, Sweetheart, and I'll be home soon," Jethro said smacking his lips together to give Shannon a kiss over the phone.

"I love you too Jethro. Come here Kelly, say good-bye to your father," Shannon said placing the phone next to her daughter's ear.

"Good-bye daddy. I love you. Come home soon."

Jethro smiled, tears falling from his eyes unashamed. "I love you too, Princess. And I'll be home soon, Kells."

Kelly smiled into the phone, the first genuine smile Tony and Shannon had seen in weeks. "I'll be waiting for you when you get back dad. I promise."

Jethro laughed, "You better be, Sweetheart, that's an order!" With that Jethro hung up the phone, staring at the small family picture he had in his wallet.

It was Tony who usually defied orders so he believed with all his heart that his little girl would be waiting for him when he got back. There was never a time before or after in Gibbs' life where he had ever been more wrong.

* * *

A/N - 2 chapters in one day. It was my way of saying thank-you for all the faithful reviewers out there. Please, continue to review because the story is starting to pick up and the reviews help keep the muse around.


	13. Chapter 10

"Mom, I hate when Henry drives!" Tony whined reluctantly getting into the backseat of the minivan.

Kelly jumped over him going to the other side of the van, strapping herself in, ignoring her brother's complaints. Henry had bought her an ice cream cone and she was happily engrossed in the flavorful treat.

Tony sneered at Kelly disgusted at how easily she could be sold while checking on her seat belt to make sure it was securely latched. In front of him Shannon buckled in rolling her eyes as her son continued complaining about the too sharp turns and the disregarded yellow lights. She turned on the music once Tony started talking about being unable to wait until he learned to drive.

She mouthed an "I'm sorry" over to Henry who just laughed as Tony continued on with his complaints. They were just leaving Tony's basketball game where he had shot the game winning free throw making his high school freshman team the regional champs.

Henry took extra care as he placed the car in reverse, slowly backing out of the parking space for Tony, who was _still_ complaining.

"Those were good shots you made," Henry said attempting to change the subject.

"Can you please keep your eyes on the road," Tony asked before turning to look out the window.

"Tony, it would help if you were a bit nicer to them," Shannon said turning to look over at Tony who just rolled his eyes.

"Whatever."

"Tony, that's your favorite word!" Kelly said looking up for the remnants of her ice cream.

"No it is not!" Tony said turning over to his sister.

Tony groaned examining the mess Kelly had created with her ice cream. Some of it had dripped onto her coveralls, while the rest had dripped onto the floor of the van. He reached down grabbing some napkins from the box next to his feet before roughly swiping Kelly's cheek and hands clean of the sticky substance.

"Yes it is!" Kelly argued sticking her tongue out at him.

"What are you six?" Tony asked sarcastically yanking the cone from her hands. "Honestly Henry, who buys a kid an ice cream cone in the middle of winter?"

"I liked my ice cream cone Tony," Kelly frowned.

A turn sent the whole family to the left side of the car earning Henry a glare from the backseat.

"That was very nice of him to buy your sister a cone, Tony," Shannon explained.

"That's how you ruin her appetite for dinner," Tony said softly. "Look at her clothes, it's ruined! I'm going to have to run that through the wash twice!"

"Since when did you ever do Kelly's laundry?" Shannon asked with a laugh. "You never even do your own."

"It's the thought that counts," Tony pouted turning back to look out the window.

"Tony, the last time you did laundry was when mom went to visit Grandma in Stillwater and dad and you were left in charge. There were a lot of bubbles coming out of that machine too," Kelly pointed out earning laughs from every occupant of the van, minus Tony.

"I am glad that my misery is the cause for all your laughter," Tony huffed out causing Shannon to laugh a little more.

"Oh honey, you're just silly," Shannon stated. "I'm sorry baby. I love you."

"I'm not a baby, mom! I love you too," Tony said with a small smile and wink sending Shannon's heart soaring.

The sounds of shattering glass interrupted the moment, sending the car squealing against the snowy road. Kelly's screams echoed in Tony's ears as his head broke through the glass window, shards embedding themselves deep into different parts of his body as he tried his best to shield Kelly from the flying debris.

Tony felt the car flip over, his shoulder jolting out of place, the pain making him scream out despite his attempts to stay calm. The last thing Tony saw and remembered was the sounds of his little sister screaming as a truck came flying their way unable to stop, careening straight into their overturned vehicle.

--

It was the crippling pain that pried Anthony Gibbs from the sweet unconscious abyss that he was in. Upon opening his eyes he found himself stuck underneath the car, held in place by his seat belt.

"Mom?" Tony called out weakly. "Kells?"

Tony turned his head slightly, only able to see Kelly from his peripheral. There was blood gushing from the side of her head, her body contorted in an odd angle.

"Kelly!" Tony cried out trying his best to reach out to his sister.

He screamed in pain as his shoulder protested the movement. A wave of nausea hit him as he fought through the pain struggling to free himself from the restraints. "Mom?" Tony cried out.

When he heard nothing he attempted once more to free himself from the restraints. He was freely crying by this time as he fought through his pain, trying to reach out to his sister who hadn't moved from her position yet.

"Kelly? Kelly wake up...please," Tony pleaded weakly. "Please wake up Kelly."

Another attempt sent another wave of pain through Tony's body, this time unable to fight off the nausea the boy vomited the contents of his stomach, causing him to cry out in pain as the involuntary contractions further exacerbated his injuries.

"Mom? Mom?" Tony cried out, tears fogging his line of vision. "Mom, please. Kelly? Mom...oh God...please you guys...please wake up....please..." Tony's sobs echoed louder than any horn or siren or activity that flooded the scene. His pleas were heard by everyone at the scene except the two people he was crying out to.

--

Second Lieutenant Peter Wilson looked up from the phone, his eyes searching out for the infamous Gunnery Sergeant Leroy Jethro Gibbs. An emergency call from the Commandant of the Marine Corps had come in for his gunny and the news he was to offer was heartbreaking. All the guilt of denying the gunny emergency leave suddenly came rushing back up to the surface as tears fell for the soldier he barely knew. Jethro had requested leave on numerous occasions, but he was one of the best snipers the Marines ever came across and he was a vital asset to the Corps. His country needed him.

As Wilson called Jethro over he wondered what would have happened if Gibbs was home at the time of the accident, if he would have been in the car, or even if his family were still alive. Jethro jogged towards the Lieutenant saluting him when he approached.

"It's for you, Gunny," Wilson sighed out.

Wilson handed the phone over to Jethro. With a confused look from Jethro, Wilson clasped the Gunny's shoulder shaking his head before walking away.

"Hello?" Jethro answered into the phone.

"Gunnery Sergeant Leroy Jethro Gibbs?" the man on the other line asked.

"Speaking," Jethro said confused.

"This is the Commandant of the Marine Corps," the man said, his voice oddly soft.

"Sir," Jethro said standing at attention despite the fact the man could not see him.

"Gunny, I have some terrible news…"

Jethro's blood ran cold, his heart stopped suddenly. His mouth dried, and he found himself suddenly having to sit in attempt to still his weakened knees.

"My family…" Jethro whispered. "…are they alright?"

There was silence on the other end.

"You're going to be on the first flight home, Gunny. You'll be debriefed when you arrive," the man said finally.

A choked sob emanated from deep within Jethro's throat. "Please sir, is my family alright?"

"I'm sorry Gunny, your wife and daughter died last night."

* * *

A/N: I ended it there because I feel like it was a good stopping place. Please review I wasn't sure how you guys would like this chapter. I don't know I might add more...might not. We'll see.


	14. Chapter 11

It was the incessant sounds of beeping that pulled the young teen back into the realm of the living the first time. His fingers lightly clenched together to grab hold of the sheets beneath him in an effort to pry open his heavy lids. The lighting in the room was dimmed and the sounds of the hospital hustle and bustle was muted by the heavy wooden door in the corner of the room. The only sounds in the room were the sounds of the machines monitoring his heart rate, a steady beep-beep, beep-beep to signal his existence.

Tony's eyes narrowed down to see the mask which was placed over his nose and face making him sound like Darth Vador with each inhale and exhale he took. He searched the room for his mother or father or even his little sister only to find himself alone in the room. Seconds later the accident came rushing back to memory and Tony found himself curling up into a little ball the best he could sobbing as pain after painful second passed, reliving the gruesome 20 minutes he had been stuck in the car staring at his sister and mother until finally he succumbed to the darkness. Even after he had cried himself to sleep tears still fell down freely from his eyes, the heart monitor beeped on in sadness as it screamed evidence of a broken heart.

Nurse Ava Gregory walked into her patient's room, tears prickling her own eyes. After nearly twenty-five years in the pediatrics intensive care unit Ava thought she had seen it all. Her once soft heart had hardened over the years, a coping mechanism of working in such an environment, but this, this hurt her heart more than any other one of her patients before. Anthony Gibbs' story had touched her so deeply that today of all days she volunteered to come into work just for this one boy who's very existence touched her heart.

She walked around to check the heart monitor and then to take the boy's blood pressure. Her maternal instincts gently pushed aside some of the boy's more stubborn locks that poked out through the bandages and plastered themselves onto his face. Almost subconsciously she tucked the boy in taking in the boy's broken form.

In reality, it was a miracle Anthony had survived his accident. The boy had a severe concussion, massive internal bleeding, a kidney so far beyond repair that it had to be removed, dislocated shoulder, torn ligament in the knee, and a broken ankle. The list however was not an exhaustive one.

It was strictly through scuttlebutt that the older nurse had come to learn of the fate of the others in the car with Tony. His mother and sister had been pronounced dead at the scene as well as the Special Agent who was there at the time. He had been shot straight into the head while driving. That explained the need for the agents posted in front of the boy's door, but it also explained Anthony's near reluctance to wake up.

He was not in a coma or anything, but rather it was almost like he just didn't want to wake up. Tired of fighting they had lost the boy a total of three times in the twenty-eight hours that he had been in the hospital's care, each code blue a little longer than the last one. Yet, in the end, just as they were about to call it his heart would start beating again, as if he just decided he didn't want to be dead yet. Yes, this boy was a fighter.

"Kells," Tony's uttered word brought Ava back into reality, her heart broke as the young boy called out for his sister in his sleep.

Nightmares were common for anyone who suffered trauma. This boy probably suffered more than most kids could even begin to imagine.

Ava sighed and shook Tony awake gently before he got further into his nightmare.

"Wake up, sweetie," Ava said gently.

"Mom?" Tony asked questioningly still asleep.

Ava shook her head, though a part of her wished that at that moment she was Tony's mother and not just his nurse. What the boy needed at the moment was his mother.

"No, sweetheart, it's me, nurse Ava," Ava stated.

Tony's eyes fell down towards his sheets and Ava slowly started towards the door.

"Why is my mom not here?" Tony asked breaking the silence.

Unable to face the boy Ava continued walking, pretending she didn't hear the question. She continued on shutting the door behind her as she pretended not to hear the boy's sobs, stopping only to wipe away her own tears once she got into the comfort of the employee bathroom.

----

Leroy Jethro Gibbs didn't say anything to NCIS Special Agent Mike Franks the whole car ride from the airport to the hospital. Mike had picked him up from the terminal giving him his condolences only to be shot down by steely cold ice blue eyes. The questions were frank and by now Jethro Gibbs knew enough of the situation to even ask, having been debriefed on the plane ride home.

"Tony's room is on the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit. He's the one with guards standing in front of the door," Mike called out as Jethro flew out of the car before it even came to a complete stop. "Maybe we could have coffee later and I could explain it to you or something," Mike muttered to himself shaking his head disbelievingly as he started his search for a parking space.

Most people noticed the Marine in his dress blues stalking down the hall with a murderous look in his eyes – the kind only a father would have when his child was wounded. Everyone knew to stay out of the gunny's way as he made his way towards the unit, not having to ask where it was since Tony had been there before.

The guards took one look at Jethro's disheveled appearance and photo ID before stepping aside and letting the young father in. Once inside the room Jethro felt his heart breaking seeing his son balled up in the fetal position the best he could, wet circles on his pillow from where he cried himself to sleep.

He collapsed into a chair next to Tony's bed, his thumb brushing over the boy's bandaged head. Little wisps of brown poked out from the bandage stubbornly making their presence know. Jethro noticed that the freckles on the side of Tony's nose had disappeared and little stubborn acne had taken its place all around the teen's face. Tony's face had become less circular, his cheekbone more prominent, and even now ghosts of what could be facial hair peaked out from under the skin in various places.

"Tony," Jethro whispered taking his son's hands into his own.

Long lashes fluttered before separating revealing hazy hazel eyes, unfocused and confused. Jethro gave a small smile as he waited for his boy to slowly recognize him.

As his eyes settled on Jethro's own cold blue ones Tony's hand squeezed tightly on Jethro's finger, evidence that his son was well and truly still alive.

"Hey kiddo," Jethro whispered.

"Dad? Is that really you?" Tony whispered hopeful.

"Yeah, in the flesh," Jethro stated.

For some unfamiliar reason Jethro felt tears form in his eyes as he took in his son's broken form. The fourteen year old suddenly transformed into the little five year old Jethro had once knew, engulfed in the sheets, scared of the ghosts that were "after him." All Jethro wanted to do was pick Tony up and hold him protectively in his arms, safe in his embrace and never let go. Yet, the guilt festered deep inside as he realized that the only reason why Tony was in such a predicament in the first place was because he wasn't able to hold him safe in his arms.

"Dad…" Tony started, a lump forming in his throat. "Dad, where's Kells?"

Jethro stiffened in his seat, his entire figure becoming rigid at the mention of his daughter's name. _Kells._ He still had to identify the body that lay in the morgue downstairs. He had to identify two. They did what he requested, holding off and preserving the body until he arrived for him to see. However, his mind brought him straight to his son's room, to the one person he had left. Upon entering he had fooled himself into thinking that Shannon was simply getting Kelly some hot chocolate and they had just stepped out – that they would return momentarily.

"She didn't make it, Tony," Jethro whispered, his own voice wavering.

Tony swallowed forcefully, suddenly grateful for the oxygen mask as the air escaped him in one breath, as if he had been punched in the stomach by the words.

"How about mom?" Tony asked hopeful.

This time unable to talk Jethro just shook his head, tears spilling from his eyes at the thought that suddenly, too suddenly, his family had shrunk in size by 50% percent. The other half of him was gone – dead.

It took all of what was left in Jethro to shove aside his own selfish grief and to pull his son into his arms as tenderly as possible to allow the boy to cry onto his dress blues. He didn't care that there would be wrinkles on it, or tear marks that would stain them, or the fact he was still wearing his stupid blasted white gloves as he rubbed his boy's bandaged head. Tony was his first priority.

"Dad, I'm sorry I killed mom and Kelly," Tony said between sobs, his heart rate starting to slowly climb.

Jethro's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Sorry about what, son?" Jethro asked indecorously.

"It's my fault they are dead," Tony whispered with such shame and brokenness that Jethro had to restrain himself from shaking some sense into his boy.

"How can you even possibly think that?" Jethro asked Tony wrapping his arms tighter around his tiny frame.

"It was my basketball game. If I hadn't insisted they came. If I hadn't been as selfish…" Tony weeped.

"Stop that!" Jethro ordered with much more force than he actually meant. "Don't do that Anthony," Jethro said more softly than before. "Your mom and Kelly wanted to be at that game. _I _wanted to be at that game. None of this – HEY! Are you listening?" Jethro asked looking down at Tony.

Tony nodded. "Anthony Jethro Gibbs. None. Of. This. Is. Your. Fault," Jethro stated pausing after each word to let them sink in.

Jethro stayed in the bed, holding his son in his arms, long after Tony had fallen back asleep. A nurse walked in half an hour later to check on Tony's vitals giving him a sympathetic look, but saying nothing. She left before coming in a couple of minutes later with Tony's lunch. A part of Jethro's stomach churned when he realized that at the moment Tony was on a liquid diet. Sooner or later he knew he would have to step out of the room and talk to the doctor in charge of Tony. At one point he knew that he'd have to make his way downstairs to formally identify his wife and daughter. Jethro also knew that he'd have to start the funeral arrangements. All the while he'd have to listen to the stupid Christmas carols that had taken over the radio, listen to the Christmas glee that was evident outside Tony's doors. He didn't have to look at the calendar to realize he had a day before he could really start making any sort of arrangements. Hell, he doubted the doctor would even be in to check on Tony today of all days.

Jethro glanced down at the tray in front of him, sprinkles of green and red sparkles littered it and a little reindeer picture was used as a placemat for all the liquids. Looking up at the ceiling he whispered out brokenly, "Merry Christmas you two."

* * *

A/N - Possibly one of the sadder chapters written. I hope you guys like it. There's a lot more description than actual dialogue in this chapter, but I think it was necessary after the last chapter. Thanks so sooo much for the reviews from the last chapter. It was the most I've ever received on one chapter for this story and they just made me so overwhelmingly excited to continue on the story. It's good to know so many of you are liking the story thus far. Please continue on telling me how you feel, what you like, what you didn't like, etc.

Liz


	15. Chapter 12

Tony sat in his wheelchair, his back turned from the crowd, staring up towards the caskets that were in front of the church, unable to wheel himself any further. Due to his father's wishes both caskets were closed, pictures of Kelly and Shannon above respective ones as random friends and colleagues came to pay their respects. Many of which greeted Tony, but the boy had given up on falsifying his interest in any sort of conversation, instead turning away knowing that when they said they "understood" they really had no freaking clue.

Jethro stood at the front of the church; his marine dress blues spotless as tears hid behind hardened blue eyes. He greeted each person with a shake of the hand or a quick hug and kiss on the cheek thanking them for coming in the most genuine tone he could muster. Tony hadn't said a word to anyone last night during the visitation and wake and today was no better. Instead Tony sat away from the crowd, wheeling himself over to Jethro only when he needed help in the bathroom.

"How's the boy?" Mike Franks came up to Jethro nodding his head over to Tony who was currently sitting, lightly scratching the bandages over his head.

Mike had stopped by everyday to say hello to Tony only to get the cold shoulder. Most of the time he had a new development on the case in which he had to inform Jethro, who had taken up residence besides the boy's bed, but there were a few times where he just wanted to make sure both of them were dealing.

It had been a little over a week since Kelly and Shannon's death. Tony had just gone in for surgery the day after Christmas to stop a bleed that had shown up on an x-ray and he was only allowed out of the hospital for the funeral. He had his IV pole hooked up to the wheelchair and bandages accompanied the nice looking black suit he wore.

"Not good. Been pretty quiet since I got back. I'm really worried about him," Jethro sighed.

Mike Franks had become more of a mentor over the past couple of days. They had spent multiple hours together going over Shannon's case after demanding to be read in. Though he was not fully aware of the inner workings of the investigation Franks had on more than one occasion broken protocol to tell Gibbs of a lead or even simply gain insight from the man.

"It's a hell of a way to bring in the New Year," Mike Franks sighed lighting a cigarette.

"You allowed to smoke inside a church, Mike?" Jethro asked raising his eyebrow.

"Don't really know. Don't really care," Mike said with a deep drag.

Jethro shook his head but said nothing. The service was starting and so he made his way over to his seat besides his son's wheelchair.

"Anthony Gibbs has asked to say a few things," the pastor spoke towards the end of the service, before plucking the microphone from its stand and bringing it down to the young teen whose eyes rose up from the spot on the carpet to the microphone.

Jethro raised an eyebrow at the unexpected news. Tony, who could barely say three words without breaking a sweat, was going to say a few words? His eyes watched as his boy awkwardly wheeled himself around to face the crowd, sheen of sweat already starting to cover whatever parts of his face the bandages weren't.

"Um…" Tony started uncertainly.

Curious onlookers peeked over the sides of the pews intrigued by the teenage boy. Everyone knew that it was Tony who was the sole survivor of the crash. The few people who have been allowed into Tony's room knew of the three days that Tony spent alone in the room because his father was still traveling back from war. There were a handful that saw the tears that streamed down the boy's face for what seemed continuous. Others who shed tear after tear with the boy sharing in his sorrow, though unable to fully comprehend just how much the boy had.

Tony looked over to his father unsure of why he had requested to talk in the first place. Jethro placed an encouraging hand on Tony's shoulder, whispering something only father and son shared before moving the mic closer to the boy's lips waiting for him to speak.

"Kelly hated peas," Tony started earning a few laughs from the crowd. "No, she really hated peas. I remember this one Thanksgiving she just kept placing it on my plate and mom told her to stop. Mom asked Dad to stop her but Kelly had him wrapped around her finger. It's not hard though, you know. If anyone of you spent just ten minutes with her you'll know what I mean. She had me wrapped around her finger too – more like her fingernail," Tony said with a small smile. "She followed me around like none other. Sometimes I tripped over her because she was so quiet about it, other times I turned around and told her to shut up because she was so annoying. She knew me better than anyone else and it's strange because she's my little sister but she was so much more than that. She could make me fuming mad one minute and dying of laughter the next. I really wish that she was here right now, annoying the living daylights out of me like before. I'd give anything for it actually. God I miss her…" Tony's voice broke into a sob.

Jethro sighed and took his son into his arms, taking the microphone from the boy as he crumpled into a little ball, breaking into sobs that echoed throughout the church. For a few minutes the church was silent except for the occasional sniffle followed by a muffled sob from a mourner within the crowd.

Just as the pastor stepped forward to take the microphone, Jethro sighed into it. He stood to face the crowd behind him, amazed at how many people Shannon and Kelly had touched in their short lifetime. He searched the place finding no dry eyes in the crowd as each one clung to each other as waves of empathy threatened to drown Jethro.

Shakily, Jethro started his impromptu speech, looking down at his son with nothing but love and adoration in his eyes. "Tony's right. Kelly did have me wrapped around her finger. Probably had half of you wrapped around her fingers as well," he said earning a small laugh and some nods from the crowd. "Thank-you for coming today, both Kelly and Shannon would have appreciated your presence greatly."

Jethro sighed once again looking around the crowd once more. "Being a marine is hard. I probably have more memories of Kelly through different letters Shannon had sent me than actual memories themselves. I missed both of my children's first steps, their first words, Kelly's first day of school, Tony's first day of detention, countless holidays, tears, laughter, nightmares, homeruns, touchdowns, ballet recitals – but Shannon didn't miss a single moment. Shannon was there for the children day in and day out. She cried for them, with them; she fought for them in ways I don't know how. She fought for me too. She was the strongest woman I've ever come across. Fiery lady too. Let me tell you, Shannon was NOT someone you wanted to mess with," Jethro glanced down at Tony who's eyes were looking up at him as he continued on his speech. "…I think my favorite part of Shannon was her ability to love. She saw past all the crap in everyone's lives and she just loved the hell out of them. She taught my children to love like she did – like she does. Her love was never ending and it transcended any and all boundaries. She loved all of you. She loves me…" Jethro looked down and got onto one knee to look his son in the eye. "She loves you, Anthony. She'd want you to remember that today."

* * *

By the time Jethro had finally brought Tony back to the hospital the boy was exhausted, barely protesting as Jethro carried him back to PICU. His head had barely hit the pillow when the sounds of his light snores filled the room.

Jethro took one look at Tony before settling down at the table in the far side of the room. There he placed copies of the file he had stolen from Mike Franks. As the hours progressed his faith in the justice system slowly faded as he read through the circumstantial evidence that they had gathered about Kelly and Shannon's death. His blood boiled as he looked through the crime scene photos, his mind recreating the graphic scene, the sounds of his daughter's screams sending the man to tears. As he read through the reports a little bit more of his own grip on reality slipped away as his world slowly became tinted with the reds of anger. He understood that with what they've got on Shannon and Kelly's murders there would be no one who'd ultimately go to jail or suffer due to lack of evidence and testimonies. His son's own testimony unreliable due to his sustained head injury and he realized that the bastards who had done this would walk. No one would pay for turning his world upside down – for killing two people who didn't deserve to die. As he continued reading he realized that justice for Shannon and Kelly's deaths rested solely on him.

It was hours later when Tony had opened his eyes to the sight of his father pouring over massive amounts of papers, notebook on the side, scribbling and circling things every now and then before continuing on. It was the first time Tony had seen the look of unadulterated fury in his father's eyes and he quickly turned away scared his father might notice that he was awake. The hatred and anger that filled the room was near suffocating for the teen, enough to embed the night to memory years later.

"You in here, Gunny?" Mike Franks' voice filtered through the air as a very awake Tony shifted, listening, too scared to really fall asleep.

"Yeah, Mike," Jethro's voice held an edge that Tony had never heard before.

"You didn't get those from me," Mike pointed to the papers on the table as he harshly whispered noting the sleeping form on the bed.

The sound of approaching feet made Tony shut his eyes tight feigning sleep, forcing his lungs to inhale and exhale as regularly as possible.

"The kid asleep?" Mike asked, his mouth practically next to Tony's ear.

"He's been asleep," Jethro sighed.

"You sure?" Mike asked peeking over the huddled teenage form.

"Leave him be," Jethro practically ordered. "These it?" Jethro asked pointing to the now clustered stack of papers in front of him.

"Yeah," Mike nodded walking back towards the table.

"That the guy who ordered the hit on my wife and daughter?" Jethro asked pointing to a picture of a man.

"That's what it looks like, Jethro," Mike said running his fingers through his hair.

There was silence in the room as Jethro looked over to his son's sleeping form. "Do me a favor, Mike. Look after my kid for me while I'm gone," Jethro said with determination that sent shivers down both Mike and Tony's spines.

"Where you going, Gunny? You don't think you're actually…" Mike said standing up. "Now you just hold on a minute there, boy! I gave you those to make sure you know I've got it under control, not to be taking the law into your own hands…"

"I'm going to protect my family," Jethro snarled out.

"Jethro, protecting your family means you staying next to this boy's hospital bed until he gets out of here," Mike stated.

"That bastard shouldn't have started what he couldn't finish. I'm finishing it for him, Mike. You arrest me now if you want," Jethro said getting in Mike's face.

Tony listened as tears silently fell down his eyes.

"Jethro, think about this right now," Mike stated.

"I've been thinking about this. Those bastards are going to be running free because there's not enough evidence here for nothing. I know how this shit works. I may not have been there to stop the accident, but damn to hell am I going to sit around and watch this guy walk," Jethro sputtered out.

"I have it under control, Gunny!" Mike exclaimed.

"Not yet, but you will," Jethro said, and with that he stalked towards the door, opening it before silently closing it, walking out with a determined look of absolute fury that no one had ever seen before.

Inside the room Mike Franks yelled, "Damn it!" before sighing and turning around to come face to face with a pair of bright hazel orbs.

* * *

A/N - And the story picks up. Reviews are all read, and though not necessarily all responded to, they are all very much appreciated. Thanks for all of them and please keep them coming.


	16. Chapter 13

Anthony Gibbs sighed as he walked into his legal guardian's house, tossing his backpack to the side. It was now June, the last day of freshman year of high school had just ended, not that it really mattered – because of his absence Tony was being forced to attend summer school to make up for the more than two months he was in and out of hospitals after the accident.

In the months following Gibbs' abrupt leave Mike had stepped up somewhat, providing the boy with a home and some food on the table. Though Jackson Gibbs had offered to take Tony in, Tony refused, unwilling to move all the way to Stillwater until his father returned, if his father returned. Tony's grandmother had died just a couple of weeks after Shannon's death and it was the first road trip that Mike had to endure with the boy. After realizing that Tony well and truly did have ADHD he vowed that it would be the last.

What was once weird and awkward for both parties had become nearly routine; Mike would use the jaws of death to pry Tony out of bed and ready for school and Tony would come home and prepare dinner for Mike and himself. From there he'd either leave Mike a note stating that he'd be out and when he'd return or he'd go to his room and do homework. Then again, there was not much to do nowadays.

Tony had been banned from any spring sports due to injuries and the doctors were still doubtful that he could participate in any winter sports next school year. The school and Mike had thought that counseling would be appropriate for the "traumatic year" that Tony endured and so every single Tuesday and Thursday Tony had sit out gym and met with the counselor at school to discuss "his feelings." Truth be told Tony couldn't be more happy that school was out if only for the sole reason that counseling was done.

Tony decided that he didn't feel like cooking, opting instead to hunt for the take-out menus stashed in the drawer beneath the microwave. It had been five months since anyone had heard from his father, though it was something he never really discussed with anyone, opting instead to discuss the effects of Kelly and Shannon's death on him. In truth, it was Jethro's sudden abandonment that hurt more than Kelly and Shannon's death.

"Fuck you too, dad," Tony sighed out into the air shaking away the thoughts of his father.

Tony found the pizza menu quickly ordering a large pizza with his favorites on it as well as an extra basket of French fries and chicken wings on the side. He tossed the cordless phone onto the table before walking out and heading towards the couch where he plopped himself down to watch television until Mike arrived home.

"That cat will never catch that mouse," Tony mused out loud watching an old re-run of Tom and Jerry.

His heart shot to his throat as he realized that this was an old time favorite of Kelly's. Back when she was alive they would watch it after she got home from school together, laughing as the cat hopelessly pursued the mouse. At the time Kelly would tell Tony how sorry she felt for the mouse when the cat finally caught him. It didn't matter how much Tony told Kelly that the cat would never catch the mouse.

Angrily, Tony slammed his finger down changing the channel. He hadn't watched Tom and Jerry since the day before Kelly died. Then again, he didn't really watch anything that reminded him of his mother, or father, or Kelly. He didn't really miss sports because it reminded him too much of his dad, and he'd all but given up on the stupid instruments which he had pawned on Shannon's birthday.

"Stupid tv," Tony muttered.

Tony finally settled upon an old episode of the Brady Bunch noting the relative safety from any sort of flashback since neither parent nor Kelly had really liked the show.

Mike entered his small apartment, his newest probie on his six, only to find Tony asleep on the couch, sweat dripping from his brow, shifting and turning on the small couch, whimpering softly. Instinctively, both Mike and his probie stepped forward – the probie only stopping when Mike shot him a murderous glare daring him to take a step forward.

"Kells…" Tony cried out before turning harshly in the sofa. "Dad don't leave…"

Mike ignored the pained expression plastered on Jethro's face, kneeling down besides the boy's tossing form, lightly shaking him from his slumber. He sighed shooting Jethro another look as Tony retreated from his arm, drifting further into his dream.

"Dad…mom…please…" Tony's voice pleaded out brokenly.

Jethro turned his head tears springing to his eyes.

"Tony, wake up," Mike said firmly shaking the boy once more.

"Don't leave," Tony muttered, a lone tear falling from his eyes.

"Wake up, Tony!" Mike said loudly shaking Tony harsher than before.

Tony's eyes popped open to reveal bright hazel eyes. He searched the room frantically before his eyes finally fell upon Mike, a blush rising to color his cheeks.

"Uh, sorry," Tony mumbled.

"Same dream?" Mike asked concerned.

"Don't matter," Tony said wiping the sweat from his face and pulling himself to a sitting position.

It was only when he did another sweep of the room with his eyes did he first notice the other figure, his back towards Tony.

Tony's eyes hardened instantly as his eyes snapped back to Mike Franks' disbelievingly.

"You've got to be shitting me," Tony sputtered out.

"Language!" Mike scolded.

"You're back," Tony practically spat out.

"Tony…" Jethro said turning to face his last remaining family member.

Jethro stumbled back at the look of hatred just radiating off his son. The boy who was once so happy had disappeared and his dancing eyes had been replaced with angry ones that looked like they could just kill. Those same eyes were glued on him, the sneer on Tony's face malicious as he shook with barely contained rage.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Tony asked shrugging his shoulders.

"Tony," Mike said standing to place a warning hand on Tony's shoulder.

"No Mike, it's ok. Let him. I deserve it," Jethro sighed.

Jethro took a step forward, his heart shattering when Tony's only response was to narrow his eyes even more.

"Tony, I missed you," Jethro started attempting to take another step forward.

"Whoop-tee doo," Tony snarked. Jethro noticed as Tony took a step backwards the same time he stepped forward.

"Anthony," Jethro started once more.

"Don't! You don't get to call me that no more," Tony said shaking his head firmly. "You lost that right when you up and walked out."

"I didn't just up and walk out on you. I was…" Jethro said before stopping as Mike's eyes darkened shaking his head firmly ending that sentence in the air. "…wrong," Jethro said lamely.

"What are you doing here?" Tony asked through gritted teeth.

"I'm your dad…" Jethro stated as if it was the explanation to all.

"Biologically speaking," Tony muttered.

"Hey! That's not fair! I've had a bad five months, that does not mean I've had a bad 14 years!" Jethro sniped, his own voice rising.

"So now what, you want to pick up where we left off?" Tony huffed out with a laugh.

"I got a job offer at NCIS. I'm a marine reservist for the next couple of years until I get a pension with them. I'm here for good," Jethro explained. "I want to take care of you."

"Unbelievable. You actually _do _want to pick up where we left off," Tony said angry tears spilling from his eyes.

"I know it's not going to be perfect, but…"

Jethro wasn't allowed a chance to finish before his son stomped past him, brushing his shoulder hard as he went towards the direction of his room. The door slammed shut rattling all the walls along in its wake. Seconds later the familiar sounds of music filled the silent room.

Jethro sighed plopping down on the couch, rubbing his hand on his face.

"That went well," Jethro sighed looking at the direction of the teen's room.

"He's an angry child," Mike offered. "Can't blame him."

Jethro nodded unsure of what to say. He would have never believed it if he hadn't seen it with his own eyes. Tony, his happy, bubbly little boy would grow into one of the angriest teens the world has ever known. His hazel eyes, which sparkled with good-natured mischief was now dull, haunted, and only bright when tears fell past invisible barriers.

"How has he been, Mike?" Jethro asked worriedly.

"Truthfully? Not good. Maybe he'll be better now that you're back. Boy's hardheaded and stubborn. Don't listen to me worth a damn," Mike stated with a shake of the head. "It makes sense though - rough year and all."

"What'd you tell him?" Jethro questioned. "About me leaving."

"He never asked. Whenever I tried bringing it up he just changed the subject. Jethro, when you left his room that night…he was awake," Mike answered truthfully.

The sound of the doorbell ringing interrupted both men from their conversation. Out of habit Mike checked his SIG before walking towards the door asking who it was before he opened it.

It was something he had started doing once Tony had moved in. Besides the fact that he had many enemies, and the boy's father had more Mike's apartment was in the worse part of town. Still, Mike tried his best, finally installing a dead bolt and finding himself a gun safe to keep his SIG in. After someone had tried robbing his place placing a gun to his head when he opened the door he had begun to answer each call with his SIG in hand.

"Pizza," the guy on the other side called out.

Mike's hand stayed close to his SIG even after opening the door to see the pizza delivery boy standing impatiently, pizza, French-fries, and chicken in hand. Mike rolled his eyes at Tony's idea for dinner, his third time to call out that week, before paying the boy and slamming the door in his face.

"You think he heard what I said?" Jethro asked worriedly.

"Won't tell me if he did or didn't," Mike shrugged. "TONY! PIZZA'S HERE!"

The music continued on even after three more calls. Jethro sat and observed as Mike growled out stalking towards Tony's room. Momentarily the music stopped abruptly followed by the angry protests of the teenage boy. Mike appeared only a minute later, followed by Tony, who looked just as angry as when Jethro had seen him 30 minutes ago.

Jethro watched as Mike took over his own role of father, envy sprouting its nasty horns as he watched Tony plop down sulkily in a seat. He watched as Tony reluctantly followed Mike's orders remembering a time when Tony would have followed his own in a heartbeat.

Five months was really long, Jethro suddenly thought taking in Tony's appearance. The bandages were long gone now, Tony's hair was now a nice shaved trim, though the scars of his accident created harsh lines throughout around his scalp. Tony was walking again, and the casts were long gone, the only reminder of their presence was the thin line extending from Tony's elbow to the middle of his arm – a gruesome reminder of Tony's past five months.

"You start at NCIS on Monday," Mike stated breaking the silence at the dinner table. "Meaning we've got the weekend to move Tony back to your place…"

"I'm moving back with _him?_" Tony asked causing Jethro's heart to break a little bit more.

"Tony, we've discussed this. You living here was only temporary…" Mike said gently.

Tony's eyes fell downward to his plate. The past five months he had felt like a hot potato being passed around from one specialist to the next. If it wasn't doctors arguing about his well being it was Mike who he had heard on more than one occasion on the phone with either Jackson, or DCFS themselves, arguing that there was no other place for him than to be under the protection of NCIS. The only real person who had really wanted him around was Mike. Then again it was better not to get too close because those he was closest to were the ones who usually left.

"I can live by myself," Tony stated stubbornly.

"You're going to live with your father, end of story," Mike said rolling his eyes.

"Until he leaves me again," Tony whispered pushing his plate away.

He didn't asked to be excused, but neither adult had the heart to stop him from walking out of the room. Jethro watched helplessly unsure of what to do with this Tony. The Tony he raised was happy, jovial, loyal. The Tony he was used to looked up to him as if the sun raised and set on his ass. This Tony could barely look at him. This Tony didn't trust him.

"I'll go talk to him," Jethro said standing from his seat.

Jethro knocked on Tony's door waiting a minute before slipping in. The room was surprisingly empty, as if the boy knew that Jethro would be returning, and that the current living arrangement was temporary. Hope filled Jethro's heart as he allowed himself to indulge in the fact that maybe, just maybe, Tony wanted him to come back. The room was lacking the posters that covered every surface of Tony's old room, the clothes that had become a second layer of flooring were nonexistent; the pizza boxes that made his room reek of fast food and boy was gone. Instead, Tony's room was clean. Besides the stereo on the desk there was nothing on any other surface.

Tony was sitting with his back against the wall on the bed, his head cradled between his legs in his arms. Jethro made his way to the bed awkwardly sitting down, tense, at the end as if Tony was a caged lion ready to attack at any given moment.

"What do you want, dad?" Tony asked out defeated, unable to lift his head from its current position.

"I want to apologize for leaving," Jethro started. "Listen Tone…I messed up, ok, son? I royally messed up. I was wrong for just leaving you with Mike, but at that time I couldn't…I was hurting too."

"How about me?" Tony asked, his voice breaking as his eyes snapped up to meet Jethro's. "Damn it! How about me?"

"I know that now. That's why I came back," Jethro defended. "God Tony, when your mom and sister died it messed me up real bad, son. And I'm not saying I was right, but give me another chance Tony. It's all I'm asking for."

"I always ask myself why you left. I," Tony laughed as he hiccupped, tears falling despite his best to hold them back. "…always wondered if I messed up. That stupid basketball game. They should be alive if it wasn't for that damn game…"

"Hey, you remember what I told you? Their deaths are not your fault," Jethro exclaimed.

"How do you expect me to believe that?" Tony roared. "Yeah, dad, they died, but I didn't. I might as well have though. You _left_ me. _You_ turned around and walked away. I mean I know I'm not perfect, but _why don't you love me?_" Tony sobbed out, crumpling beneath himself.

Jethro stood up and enclosed the space between Tony and him. Acting on instincts alone Jethro swept Tony into his arms unrelenting as the boy fought against him for awhile before allowing himself to sob into his father's arms.

Jethro looked down and kissed the top of his son's head, rocking them both, tears falling from his own eyes. "Anthony, I love you more than you'll ever know son. So much that it hurts. I'm sorry for leaving, but God damn it, you have to know that I love you. I'll always love you."

Mike peeked into the doorway a small sad smile on his face. Tony was the closest thing to a son that he'd believed he'd ever have, but Tony wasn't his. He watched as Jethro clung to Tony long after Tony had fallen asleep. He watched as the tears still fell from Jethro's eyes feeling like a voyeur peeking into the other man's soul. They were wounded, but at the time Mike didn't realize just how deep the scars went. In hindsight Mike supposed that if he knew then what he knows now maybe he would have kept Tony at his place where he would have been safe. But then again there was never any reasoning when it came to his probie, especially when it concerned his son. At the time Mike believed that both had hit rock bottom, who would have known that rock bottom was still to come?

* * *

Thanks for reading, and thanks for all the reviews.

Liz


	17. Chapter 14

"Probie! A word. NOW!" Mike yelled snapping Jethro's attention from the paperwork in front of him to Mike's retreating form.

Jethro followed much like a puppy with his tail between his legs fear evident in his own eyes as he walked a step behind Mike, gulping when Mike stepped into the elevator. As the newest probie on Mike's team he had only heard stories of what Mike did whenever he used the elevator as a personal conference room. Mike's senior field agent, Dillon Ryce, told Jethro stories that actually made the marine gunny squirm in his seat.

Jethro jumped when the elevator came to a sudden halt, finding himself taking a step back as Mike got into his face.

"You want to tell me what you did those five months you were gone?" Mike said with a calm voice that did not match his barely controlled rage.

Jethro's thoughts flashed back to the drunken nights he had yet to remember, the girls that he'd had sex with all those lonely nights he missed Shannon, the times when he sat in his slummy motel room, gun to his forehead trying to work up the nerve to pull the trigger. He remembered the empty feeling he had gotten after killing the man who had pulled the trigger ending Shannon and Kelly's lives; that night after disposing of the body and the gun he had gotten so drunk that he had to be taken to the hospital by his neighbor to have his stomach pumped.

Jethro had never spoken of that night to anyone. He had come back to the states three weeks later begging Mike forgiveness stating that he had simply fucked up. When Mike asked him if he had gone out and truly murdered the son of a bitch he looked Mike straight in the eyes and lied.

"Got trashed every night and was suicidal most. I told you this already, boss," Jethro stated evenly.

"You want to know what they found at the bottom of the Rio Grande earlier this morning? I'll give you a hint it was Pedro Hernandez's," Mike practically growled out.

Jethro schooled his expression to neutrality hoping that the look of satisfaction gave nothing of his involvement away.

"He disappeared about four months into your five month vacation, Probie," Mike growled.

"I told you, I couldn't find him. Couldn't even get myself out of bed most days, boss," Jethro admitted quietly. "I didn't kill him"

He looked won to his shoes suddenly finding the gum stain on the carpeting of the elevator more interesting than Mike's penetrating eyes.

"Yeah, well there's an investigation underway anyways. Until then give me your badge and gun. You're suspended pending the outcome of the investigation," Mike sighed. "Go spend some time with your boy."

"What? Why?" Jethro demanded ignoring the last part completely.

"Because. You are the only one with the skills and the knowledge and the motive to kill Pedro Hernandez without leaving any evidence," Mike stated with a shake of the head.

"You don't even know if he's dead and I'm already getting suspended?" Jethro questioned.

"They found his car at the bottom, couldn't find him," Mike said turning on the elevator once more.

He turned around to see his slightly flustered probie boring holes into the back of his head. Biting his lip he placed a reassuring hand on Jethro's shoulder, "I'll handle it alright, Jethro? Right now just take advantage of the time you've got with Tony. I know the one year is coming up."

* * *

Jethro walked into his empty house, his eyes straying to pile of dishes spilling out of the sink and onto the counter. Take out boxes littered the island and kitchen table as evidence of yet another week of coming home late due to back to back cases. It was December once more and the one-year anniversary of their deaths was fast approaching. The house was devoid of any shouting matches for once, though Jethro knew it was simply because Tony was still at school.

The last fight was Tony's latest choice of activity. Passing by the house for a quick lunch before an interview with a witness allowed for the discovery of a half empty box of cigarettes on the living room table. When he came back later on that night Jethro found the box gone. The next day Jethro came home and searched Tony's room, only to find the same box stuffed at the bottom of his trashcan. Tony's room reeked of smoke, both of the legal and illegal kind. Upon confrontation Tony had simply yelled at him, cursing his entire existence due to his inability to stay out of his business.

It had set something off in Jethro and he had smacked the boy hard over the head silencing Tony immediately. It was the first time he had ever laid a hand on Tony. Shannon was against spanking or corporal punishment of any sort and therefore the children were never once touched in anger. But it just happened and though it was nowhere near enough to actually hurt Tony had reeled back as if he had been sucker punched.

After that fight Jethro had retreated to the basement pouring himself a generous helping of bourbon, allowing one night like the ones he had in Mexico. Tony was too angry to even attempt to venture down to the basement and that was just fine with Jethro who had drank himself into a haze that night. For once in his life he was thankful for Tony's loud choice of music as he stumbled his way up the stairs, only coherent enough to know that Tony could not see him like that.

The next day Jethro had woken up late and Tony was already at school. He had cleaned himself up the best he could and stumbled into work mumbling a pathetic excuse to Mike who could smell the liquor from across the bullpen.

It had been three days since that fight and Tony had yet to talk to him. The last two days had been hectic at work and by the time he had arrived home Tony was already in bed.

Jethro sighed making his way towards the sink. He started with the dishes reminiscing on the times when Shannon would wash the dishes while he would dry them. Tony would wander down after getting ready for bed and bugged them until they allowed him to put the dishes away. Shannon would call Tony her little helper and Tony would smile up both of them with glee and pride.

"I miss you Shannon," Jethro said out loud placing the dishes on top of each other. "Remember when I told you that he'd be the happiest teenager in the world?" Jethro paused as if waiting for Shannon to answer. Jethro shook his head and gave a light laugh, "I was wrong."

Jethro allowed himself a small chuckle before looking up towards the ceiling. "I feel so lost right now Shannon, I keep messing up. I don't even know how you did with Kelly and Tony by yourself."

"What **_are_** you doing?" Tony's voice sounded causing Jethro to whirl around to see the teen standing at the entryway with a confused look on his face.

"Nothing," Jethro said with a shrug. "Want to help me dry and put away the dishes?"

"Not really," Tony said turning to walk away.

"Well, you don't really have a choice," Jethro said throwing the dishrag to Tony smirking when it hit him straight in the back of the head.

Tony rolled his eyes yanking the dishrag into his hands. He sauntered towards the sink picking up one dish and drying it. Quickly both fell into the familiar routine, despite the fact roles were somewhat adjusted.

"Remember when we used to do this after dinner?" Jethro asked looking besides him at his son.

Tony allowed for a small smile to break through his normally stoic expression. "Yeah, way back when Kelly was still a baby. I'd come down and I'd want to know why you and mom were always laughing."

"Mostly because Kelly or you did something funny at dinner and we'd talk about it while doing the dishes," Jethro offered.

Tony laughed lightly. "Yeah, I remember I'd come down hoping one day you guys would let me in on the secret."

Jethro leaned over no longer needing to bend down to reach his son's ear, "It was the laughs you and Kelly gave us. You two made us the happiest parents in the world."

Tony nodded suddenly feeling a lump in his throat that wasn't there before. A comfortable silence fell between his father and him, one that hadn't been there in so long and Tony found himself suddenly wishing he was nine again, standing on a stool on his tip toes, placing the dishes on the bottom lower shelf of the cabinet, the sound of his mother and father laughing in the background.

"Do you miss them?" Tony asked breaking the silence.

"Each and every single minute," Jethro answered truthfully. "You?"

"I feel like I don't have a right to," Tony revealed. He walked over and placed the last of the dishes in their respective places before plopping down at the kitchen table fingering the corner of a placemat.

Jethro walked over towards the table taking his old seat from when there were assigned seating at dinner (mostly for Kelly and Tony's sake) before scratching his head. He watched Tony play with the mat momentarily before responding, "Why?"

"You'll think I'm stupid," Tony laughed out loud.

"Never," Jethro assured. "Maybe it'll help you know, to talk about it."

"Mom told me not to tell anyone," Tony whispered.

"I'm not just anyone, Tony," Jethro encouraged. "Tell me."

"I just…it was my fault, all of it. Mom-," Tony gulped. "Mom wasn't supposed to see it. Hell, the only reason she was out at that time was because she was looking for my ass. She insisted that we leave, but I couldn't move you know. I saw them fighting and I just – I got scared, and then it just happened. Damn it was loud."

Jethro's eyes scrunched up in confusion before he was floored by his son's revelation. "Wait, are you telling me that you were there too, Tony?"

Tony looked up the guarded look that had been a permanent fixture on his face suddenly disappeared and for the first time in months Jethro was able to catch a glimpse of the boy Tony once was – still was underneath the teenage angst.

Slowly Tony nodded, and Jethro felt his heart break. He was there. How long had he been keeping it to himself? How long had he lived with the secret? How long had he lived with the nightmares?

"Mom made me promise not to tell. Especially Mike," Tony whispered. "It's just…I see it all the time now. Every time I close my eyes I can see the marine's body dropping, the blood. The sound of mom's heart racing. It's really hard to keep it inside, dad."

Jethro stood from his chair and walked over to the other side pulling Tony into a deep, bone-crushing hug.

"Anthony, I didn't know. I'm so sorry you had to see that, son," Jethro gasped out hugging his son even tighter, as if the revelation was suddenly a death sentence of some sort. "If I knew…"

"Mom said not to tell you over the phone. Then the accident happened, I was going to tell you when you came back, but…" Tony trailed off.

"I left. God," Jethro sighed looking up to the heavens as if silently pleading for strength. "I'm so sorry for leaving you to deal with that. There are no excuses on my part, I failed."

"It was my fault, dad. If I hadn't been such a…such a bastard mom and Kelly would still be alive. Henry, that NIS agent – he was going to get married in the spring. I was scared. That's why I kept the secret. I was scared they'd come after me like they kept doing with mom threatening her and everything. I got really scared, dad, and because of it mom's dead!" Tony sobbed angrily into Jethro's chest.

"Hey, hey, Tony!" Jethro said taking his son's head into his hands. "Tony, you're not at fault, kid. That basketball game, like I said, if I was home I wouldn't have missed it for the world, and I know Kelly and your mom wouldn't have either. They didn't. And you're allowed to be scared, kiddo, when you see something like that. You're allowed to freeze. You're a kid. You are your mom's kid. She and I made a vow the moment we laid eyes on you to protect you at all costs like every parents does their child, and your mom did just that. I will do that. At all cost, Tony, I promise you I will not let anything happen to you at all cost."

* * *

A/N - Thanks to everyone who has been reviewing. Really, after posting a chapter I check my email nearly every 15 minutes in hope that someone reviewed. I love, love, LOVE reviews and truly as a writer they are what inspire me most - faithful readers who are so encouraging. Thank you for all of you. Please, continue reviewing even if its just to tell me to update soon because then it reminds me that there are still readers out there and as long as someone is reading I keep writing. Feedback really is a writer's best friend. So thanks once again.

Gabumon - You're right about that. Unfortunately, I just rewatched Haitus today and I already wrote the chapter and posted it before placing that in there. Since its an AU I'm just going to do a little re-working. Thanks for pointing that out to me.


	18. Chapter 15

Jethro looked down at the empty glass in a drunken haze. The memories that led him to drink in the first place were now clearer than ever before as the sounds of Kelly's laughter rang clearly in his ears; the feel of Shannon's lips against his own sent his fingers touching his lips, hoping to smudge off the lipstick that Shannon always wore off his own lips. When Jethro looked down at his own fingers, lipstick free, he sucked in a deep breath, pouring himself another glass of the disgusting poison hoping that maybe this glass would erase the memories from his mind.

He had woken up to the sounds of Tony's muffled sobs in his room. When Jethro stumbled up the stairs he found that Tony was still asleep, tears flowing freely down his eyes. After waking him and staying with him until he fell back asleep he had made his way to Kelly's room, which had remained untouched by either Jethro or Tony since they had returned to their home. A couple of weeks after Jethro had returned from his ...sabbatical… Tony had shut the door after one of his nightmares and it had remained shut until just a couple of hours ago.

Jethro had sat on the bed, shoving his nose deep in the covers after realizing that it still faintly smelled of his little princess. The memories of all the Saturday morning tea parties was more than the man could handle and he clumsily stumbled out of the room determined to chase away the memories any way he could. Minutes later he had poured himself a generous helping of bourbon and had gulped it down like water, allowing the liquid to burn his throat, reminding him of his own pathetic existence. That was two hours ago.

Now, Jethro was well and truly drunk. The room had started spinning awhile back and though he had paced himself after the second glass he was still obliterated beyond belief. What were once memories were now hallucinations as he recalled his little girl's last dance recital where she had twirled around in her ballerina outfit with a smile that made her stand out from the rest of the crowd. Shannon stood before him, a smile on her face as she placed her hand out for him to take.

Jethro reached out only to find the figures disappear before his eyes. He leaned forward only to fall hard on the concrete ground causing him to curse out loud. When he attempted to stand he found himself stumbling backwards into a pile of wood. The wood tipped forward, clashing loudly upon the cement floor, sending Jethro down along with it.

Unable to stand, Jethro laid on the ground defeated. The room, which was once spinning like a merry-go-round, was now spinning harsh and fast. The light pulsated with each breath, and his head was pounding mercilessly.

"Dad?" Tony called from the top of the stairs.

The first thing that Tony noticed was the intoxicating smells of liquor and vomit. It sent the contents of his own stomach lurching into mouth and he had to swallow harshly, stepping away from the steps to the basement momentarily to regain his own composure. After a second Tony started back down the stairs, this time breathing through his mouth. He gawked at the mess before him. The pile of wood that was once piled neatly in the corner was cluttered around the basement floor. In the middle of the pile was his father crumpled up on his side, puking.

"Dad!" Tony called out shuffling over to him.

Tony knelt down besides his dad his hand reaching out to rub his back soothingly as he waited for Jethro to finish up.

"You're up," Jethro slurred looking up at Tony with heavy lidded eyes.

"Let's get you to bed, dad," Tony sighed ignoring his father's comment.

Tony half pulled, half dragged Jethro into a somewhat standing position, allowing the older man to lean heavily against him for support. Tony eyed the stairs with apprehension; sweat already started to form from beneath his hairline as he wondered how he'd be able to practically carry his drunken father up the stairs.

"Mom, a little help here would be good," Tony muttered up into the air as both his father and him took a tentative step forward.

By some miracle neither Tony nor Jethro fell down the stairs and Tony had made it all the way to his father's room without dropping his dad. He placed his father into bed, taking off the older man's shoes. With careful care Tony helped Jethro out of his shirt and into a new one and took Jethro's jeans with vomit and threw it in the trash. He tucked his father in like a parent would a child, tears in his own eyes as he swiped the hair from his father's eyes.

Jethro had long passed out by now, leaving the boy alone in his thoughts. Some tears escaped Tony's eyes, but he had swiped them away angrily as he looked down at his father's sleeping form.

Tony shook his head looking down at his father sadly. Seeing his dad on the ground surrounded by his own puke had scared the living daylights out of Tony. He watched as Jethro took in each breath, scared of what would happen if he had looked away even for just a moment. The rest of the night was spent with Tony just sitting in his dad's room on his mom's side of the bed. At times Tony found himself dozing off only to snap back awake. At other times Tony would place his hand over his dad's heart, just to make sure it was still beating.

* * *

Jethro awoke to the biggest headache of his life. The blinds were thankfully shut, and the horrible music that Tony played in the morning was nonexistent. The retched smell of puke and bourbon whiffed up into his nose and it took all of what he had to not puke on the bed. He groaned shifting in bed, his eyes widening when his eyes landed on Tony who was leaning against the headboard sound asleep.

He worked through his memories of last night only to find himself drawing a blank after falling upon the wooden boards in the basement. Suddenly his stomach lurched up and he found himself stumbling into the bathroom, falling to his knees in front of the bowl just as whatever was left of dinner came back up. Through the majority of it Jethro found himself dry heaving, feeling sicker and dizzier each time. His body broke out in a cold sweat as he continued to fight through the dry heaves. Suddenly, he felt warm hands on his back, rubbing it soothingly.

"Shannon?" Jethro whispered with vain hope unable to look up or behind him to see who it was.

"It's only me, dad," Tony said kneeling down besides him.

"Oh," Jethro said in quiet dejection. "Sorry, I didn't mean it like it came out."

"Dad you need to stop apologizing. People are going to start thinking you're weak or something," Tony said with a shake of the head.

Jethro allowed a smirk to grace his features before hugging the bowl once more, another round of dry heaves racking through his body.

"You need to eat something," Tony observed. "I can go make some toast and soup for you."

Jethro nodded a thank-you, shame flowing freely through his body. His son shouldn't have to deal with him drunk or hung over! Jethro could only imagine the hurt look on Tony's expressive eyes. He had promised he wouldn't ever let any of his children go through the pain of watching a parent go through a hang over. He had done it with Jackson after his mother's death and it haunted him even to this day, and now he was doing it with Tony?

Jethro reluctantly pulled his head from inside the bowl resisting the temptation to just drown in the murky water of stomach acid and bile. Tony had left several minutes ago and the sound of the toaster dinging was indication that he had to pull himself up and back to bed before he embarrassed himself further by getting some more help from his son.

Jethro had just gotten into bed, a feat all in itself, when Tony appeared at the entrance of the bedroom balancing a plate of plain toast, a glass of water, and a Tylenol bottle. Jethro watched as his son walked around the room grabbing the breakfast tray from the corner and bringing it over to Jethro.

"Thanks, Tony," Jethro mumbled.

"Yup," Tony stated plopping down besides Jethro.

"So what are your plans today?" Jethro questioned between small bites.

"Mike called earlier and left a message on the answering machine. Apparently you have to go in to answer some questions."

"Crap," Jethro groaned. "Listen Tony, about last night…"

"Don't worry about it dad. I get it, trust me, I do," Tony said rolling off the bed, hoping to avoid whatever conversation his father wanted to have. "I'm going to probably go hang out with a couple of friends. I'll be home for dinner though," Tony said before disappearing from the room.

Jethro groaned once more unable to suppress the pain from the pounding headache. The fact that Mike wanted to talk to him, most likely about the Hernandez case made him feel even worse.

_8 Hours Later… _

_"_We'll try this again. Agent Gibbs, where were you on -" Agent Macy practically groaned out, dropping her pen to the pad in frustration.

"Agent Macy, we're going to have to cut the questioning short," Agent Franks said opening the door to interrogation without so much a knock.

Special Agent Lara Macy turned to glare at the older agent, her eyes narrowing into slits. For the past two hours Gibbs had given her nothing but bullshit answers. The smell of liquor on his breath was replaced over the past couple hours by the smell of coffee, which was so strong that it, threatened to choke the young special agent. Gibbs was the cockiest agent she's ever handled, coming second only to his boss, Mike Franks, and by now she was well and truly frustrated. More than once she had found herself falling into Gibbs' game allowing herself to follow his rules instead of the other way around.

It was like neither man had even _read_ the protocol procedures. At one point Gibbs had just upped and walked out claiming he had to go to the head; she had released a frustrated yelp when she saw that neither security nor Franks stopped the probationary special agent. This was her time with the witness and now Franks just decided to waltz in and _end_ it because _he_ wanted to?

"_We're?_" Special Agent Macy growled out.

"I am. Seems Agent Gibbs has other urgent matters to attend to," Mike said turning to look at Gibbs, who was currently nursing his coffee with an amused expression written upon his face.

"What is it, boss?" Gibbs asked curiously.

"The police just called. They have your boy."

* * *

A/N - I know that it's not my strongest chapter by far, but I needed to write just to write.

To SilverNY57 - Thank you so much for the constructive criticism! I re-read the chapter after your review and reading as a critic I totally agree with all your points. This story does need a BETA which I feel like I might actually go ahead and look for one. Also, I didn't know how to quite end it (the whole "rock bottom" thing) and it was the only way I could think of. I realize it's a little weak in my approach and I am trying to speed through the story. I'm scared that if I don't I'll lose interest in it like I do SOOOOO many times. I'd definitely love to hear more of what you're thinking, how I should improve and stuff. I'd PM you this, but there was no email so I though I would just say it here. Once again thank-you for making me go back and re-read my work and for the advice.

-Liz


	19. Chapter 16

"Dad, what are you doing?" Tony asked watching as his father flipped his mattress over.

"Searching your room," Jethro growled out while taking the sheets off the mattress and tossing them to the ground.

"You're making a mess!" Tony cried out watching as his father emptied his trashcan onto the floor.

"That's the least of your problems Anthony!" Jethro shouted, making the boy visibly shrink away.

Tony had attempted to explain what happened during the car ride home, but his father wasn't hearing any of it. Instead, Jethro had just growled out a warning "shut up" before flooring the pedal the rest of the way home, only taking pity when Tony had started to hyperventilate pleading with him to slow down. Upon arriving at the house Jethro had stalked directly up to Tony's room, leaving the boy scrambling to catch up. He gave no warning as he proceeded to ransack the room with the care Mike and he gave at suspects' homes.

"Do you want to tell me why the hell you were in a fight? Or why the hell you had over an ounce of marijuana on you? You're lucky Franks knew the cop, kid. God, for once can't you just use your damn head!" Jethro said with a shake of the head.

"He hit me first!" Tony defended.

"Do I look like I care?" Jethro deadpanned.

"Dad…" Tony started.

Jethro groaned out of frustration before turning back to the task at hand. He yanked out Tony's nightstand drawer, dumping the contents onto the mattress box. His eyes narrowed on the small foil square wrapper. He picked it up and examined it, though already knowing the contents of it. He scoffed before practically throwing the thing at Tony who blushed a bright red upon his father's discovery.

"Condoms?" Jethro asked picking up two more and throwing them to the ground. "Do we need to have the talk or am I too late?"

"No! No talk," Tony practically shouted, grabbing the condoms and shoving them deep into his pockets. "They are just in case, you know."

"No, Anthony, I don't know. Please explain," Jethro said rolling his eyes continuing with his search.

"I'd rather not," Tony sighed, blushing even more.

Jethro dumped out the contents of the top dresser drawer onto the floor, his eyes immediately spotting a box of cigarettes and lighter that fell out along with some boxers and socks. He picked up the box and opened it, his anger rising a couple of notches upon the realization that it was only half full. Disgusted he placed the box to the side searching deeper through the boxers when a small rectangular shaped box fell from beneath one of the boxers. Lifting it up he recognized the rolling paper.

With a quick whirl Jethro cornered his teenage son finding odd satisfaction building at the sight of the boy slightly cowering. He got into his son's personal space, close enough to smell the faint traces of nicotine with each nervous exhale cursing himself for not noticing before.

"Explain these. Now," Jethro ordered.

"Ok, so I smoke a little," Tony said trying to push his dad away.

"What the hell have your mother and I told you about smoking?" Jethro yelled out into the boy's face.

Tony blinked, resisting the urge to wipe away the spit on his face. "It's not that big a deal!"

"I'm tired of this bullshit. I know you have weed in here. Give it to me now!" Jethro spat out angrily.

Tony scooted away from the corner, ducking his head as his father's eyes bored into it. He didn't say anything as he went to the old vinyl recorder in the corner of the room. Expertly, he took the thing apart revealing his secret stash. He took it and allowed it to plop down into his father's awaiting hand before looking down at his feet, studying his shoes with vivid fascination.

He resisted the urge to wince out when his father squeezed the box of cigarettes in his hand, the sound of the box crushing under his father's grip much louder in his ears than he thought possible. He watched as the contents of the cigarettes flowed onto the floor from his father's enclosed fist.

"Dad," Tony started.

"I'm so mad at you right now I don't think I can be in the same room with you. I'm going downstairs. You will clean this mess up right now, and then stay here until I come back," Jethro stated throwing the box onto the floor.

"God! You're not even listening to me!" Tony cried out loud.

"So you're going to tell me that there's a good reason why you were in a fight? That there's a good reason why you had an ounce of weed on you and another gram or so in your room? Are you going to actually stand and try to justify all of this, Anthony?" Jethro growled out his voice rising with each word.

"Like I said he hit me! I didn't even fucking know who he was!" Tony cried out.

"I know sure as hell your mother and I raised you better than to even be within 20 feet of the damn things. God if your mother was alive right now can you even imagine what she' be feeling right now? Well, I can. It's disappointment. I'm so incredibly disappointed in you right now. I can't even look at you right now," Jethro stated before descending down the stairs ignoring the tears that were threatening to fall down his son's face.

Tony watched as his father disappeared down the stairs, finding himself glued to his spot. Shame washed over him as he assessed the damage Hurricane Dad left behind. Though at the same time, he was thankful his father hadn't discovered the stash of money steadily growing in one of his vhs covers. Adrenaline coursed through his veins as he began picking up the mess. How could his father not even listen to his side of the story? He was not at fault. Ok, so he hit the idiot first and it was because the boy tried shorting him out of his share. Apparently it was his Shannon's fault that the teen's dad was now in jail for pushing drugs on the military base and his uncle was missing. Jethro didn't even know how hard it was for him to go to school and have those disgusting looks of pity just follow him wherever he went. What the hell was his problem anyways? It's not like he was the one who had to see Kelly and Shannon die. It wasn't him who was trapped in the car watching Kelly's blood slowly drip out of her body. It wasn't him who had the nightmares on a nightly basis. God, his father didn't even understand how much he just wanted to escape and just fucking start over. If he did he'd understand why he had the weed in the first place.

Tony yelled out as the thoughts of Kelly and Shannon filtered into his mind, their voices ringing in his own ears until they were almost real. Shannon's disappointed face flashed before Tony's eyes before fading out. Angrily, he grabbed the first thing he could get his hands on, an empty glass cup, and flung it hard across the room. He allowed the sounds of the shattering glass to overtake Shannon's disappointed voice in his head. He swiped the old snow globe that rested on top his dresser and launched it into the air allowing him self a small smile when it connected and shattered the mirror on the other side.

Downstairs Jethro listened to the sounds of the glass shattering, his own heart breaking as he heard his son's angry screams. He hardened his own resolved as he started down the stairs to the basement. Jethro met Mike's eye ignoring the questioning look his boss was giving him as he began to pick up his own mess.

"I'd ask how you two are dealing, but it's a stupid question," Mike said taking a gulp of the amber liquid he had found next to the paint thinners. "How's the boy?"

"I found this in his room," Jethro side flinging the bag of weed onto the workbench.

Mike picked it up and examined it whistling at the strong scent that permeated the air upon opening the small baggy.

"Could be worse, probie," Mike offered.

"It's a gateway drug," Jethro pointed out. Jethro stopped picking up the pieces momentarily and looked up to Mike, "Thanks for handling the cops earlier."

Mike nodded. "Wasn't too hard. I worked with that cop before. He was the cop that actually pulled your boy out of the car."

Jethro looked up in surprise. "No kidding."

"Officer Mac and I got to talking a little while you went to go fetch Tony," Mike started downing his drink. "I found out the boy who Tony got into a fight with, his father has close ties to Pedro Hernandez."

Jethro laughed out throwing his hands in the air. "Great!" Jethro exclaimed sarcastically. "Damn it boss pour me a glass," Jethro sighed walking over to Mike and downing the generous helping that Mike served in one gulp.

Mike studied Jethro, watching as his probie downed the burning liquid like water. He looked down at his own glass swirling around the small liquid before tilting his head up at Jethro who had helped himself to another generous helping.

"You're drinking under control, probie?" Mike asked in the tone closest to worry that Mike Franks got.

"Some days," Jethro admitted quietly. "Most days. Gotten harder as that time of year approaches." Jethro looked down at the liquid and took a much more conservative sip allowing the liquid to swish in his mouth for a bit before finally swallowing.

"Yeah?" Mike nodded understandingly. "So what you going to do about Tony?" Mike asked changing the subject.

Jethro grasped the edge of the worktable dropping his head to his chest. He gave a scoff shaking his head. "I have absolutely no idea, boss. He's out of control! I mean one minute I think we're headed in the right direction and I see him mature beyond his age, the next minute I'm getting called in to haul his ass out of the police station."

Mike gave a laugh, "Yeah, that's a teenager for you. At least he listens to you, probie. The boy don't listen to anyone!"

"He _barely_ listens to me," Jethro corrected. "What the hell is he doing messing around with drugs anyways?"

"Does he know about Hernandez?" Mike questioned.

Jethro shrugged. "I haven't told him anything relating to Shannon or Kelly's case. Or about Hernandez. He's got enough on his plate. All he knows is that what Shannon witnessed was a drug deal gone bad."

"Shit, I doubt that's all the boy knows." Mike took Jethro by the arm as Jethro was passing, forcing the younger man to turn around and look him in the eye, "Jethro, if anyone finds out _who_ Tony is then they're going to get revenge on _him_."

Jethro watched as Mike lit himself a cigarette. "Not if he's not involved with any of that stuff. Maybe he just bought a few grams – an ounce to have a good time or something," Jethro reasoned.

"You really think that's it? That Tony just carries an ounce around for fun to escape life?" Mike asked with a raised eyebrow.

"He's a good kid, Mike," Jethro said defensively.

"Hanging around bad company," Mike pointed out.

"And your point?"

"Do you think that's it? That Tony can get out of whatever self destructive path his on by his lonesome?" Mike asked taking a deep drag. "That he's one of the idiots who spends his money on shit like that? That his friends and him are just hanging out, toking up all day everyday? Rotting his brain away?"

"He's not an idiot," Jethro said, his eyes narrowing.

"Exactly my point, probie. Tony is not an idiot. He's not going to be smoking the shit until he rots his brain. You know that and I know that. And that's where you should worry, Jethro. Because you and I both know that he's a lot more involved than either you or I want him to be." Mike stomped the cigarette out onto the cement floor. "Agent Macy is conducting an investigation on the murder of Pedro Hernandez. Your son got into a fight with a boy who is directly related to Pedro Hernandez. This shit's getting more twisted by the day, probie."

* * *

A/N - I hope you guys like. Sorry for the break I took in updating. I needed to focus on a test and then I went home. I had chapter 16 half written, but I didn't take this laptop home with me this weekend. I ended up discarding the other one because it was moving too slowly for my liking. I hope you guys like this chapter and I'd love to hear from you guys.

Liz.


	20. Chapter 17

It was the sounds of Tony's muffled sobs that had brought Jethro from his sleepless slumber. Outside the angry snow that was once tossing wildly in the wind had calmed significantly now falling lazily towards the earth, blanketing the ground – covering its imperfections. Jethro groaned grasping at the bed sheets, tears of loneliness filling his eyes as he felt the cool unruffled sheets beneath his fingers. He grasped at Shannon's old pillow, hugging it to himself allowing the faint scent to permeate within his nostrils. The night before had been similar to the ways he had spent the nights in Mexico, drinking until he was able to forget his situation if only for a couple of minutes. Each drink he told himself would be the last, but once again, he had found himself stumbling up the stairs plopping into his bed still fully clothed – fooling himself that Kelly was asleep in her room and Shannon was just in the bathroom getting ready to join him. It was the mornings when the memories of the night before came barreling to the forefront of his mind that made it the hardest part of the day. Each day he found himself struggling just a bit more to push himself from the confines of his bed, the sanctuary of his room.

A louder, more distinct sob echoed through the vent system signaling the widowed father that his lone son had awaken from his nightmare. With a heavy sigh Jethro reluctantly placed the pillow back in its rightful place before slowly tossing his feet over the side of the bed and holstering himself up from its warm comfort. A shiver ran down his spine involuntarily and his body begged to be back under the covers immediately. The effects of alcohol still in his system heightened the temptation but in the end it was the sound of another hiccupped sob that pulled Jethro's attention from the bed. Slowly he walked towards the stairs leading to his son's room, noting the lack of Christmas decorations that usually adjourned the house this time of year. When Shannon was alive she had insisted that they kept the lights on until the wee hours of the morning, forcing Jethro to put a timer on each string light so that they only went off when the sun just started to rise.

Jethro found his son curled up in a small ball in his bed, grasping tightly to his pillow, his body shaking with uncontrollable sobs. At the moment Jethro found the anger and disappointment that just came naturally nowadays leave him. Gone was the tough, tow-headed boy that was often the source of headaches and overall anger and in his place was the child Jethro thought he had lost along with Shannon and Kelly. As he walked towards the bed memories of happier times sprung to his mind – the smile that had once been a permanent feature on his son's face now just a memory that was only relived with enough alcohol. He ignored the lingering scent of tobacco and weed instead remembering of a time when the room still smelled like fresh paint, still empty and full of potential.

He found himself sitting in the same place he had sat years ago when Tony was prone to nightmares. There was a time in his son's life where his very presence was enough to chase those horrid nightmares away – where his voice lulling him to sleep was enough to keep him asleep for hours on end. Jethro realized sadly how much of those times he had taken for granted pleading with God to let Tony just sleep through a week undisturbed so he could as well. Nowadays, even when Tony did have nightmares he seldom came to Jethro looking for comfort. There were more times now when Tony would turn away from his touch, leaving his hand hanging in the air as Tony scooted away from him, his back turned.

As if afraid that his son's body would dissipate if his touch was too hard he laid his hand unsurely on Tony's back. It was only when Tony didn't pull away that he allowed himself to exhale a breath he didn't know he was holding. Suddenly, the years seemed to wash away and Jethro found himself soothing, not fifteen-year-old hardass Tony, but little five-year-old Tony who just awoken from a scary dream. Suddenly he felt significant once more as he fell into the roll of protector – as father – a role Tony rarely allowed him to have. It was a role he knew well and as the sounds of soothing nothingness flowed from his lips he found Tony's sobs slowly dying down.

Time passed in hues of light that morning for both father and son. When Jethro had first arrived the sky was still a dark blue, the darkest blue just before the night finally came to an end. Tony had been near inconsolable, unable to form words as he just clung tightly onto his father's shirt, molding and twisting his body to once more fit under his father's chin. Though Jethro knew that it was almost near painful for Tony who was now at 5'9 to twist his body in such a way, he did not have the heart to voice his worry. Instead, both father and son took comfort in each other. It was only now, when the snow had finally stopped falling and given way to a very white Christmas did Tony finally pull apart from his father's grasp.

"Sorry," Tony mumbled sadly.

"Never be ashamed of tears, kiddo," Jethro found himself whispering into the boy's soft hair.

A smile graced both features as they remembered a time when Jethro said those words fairly often after each time Tony had cried as a child. Contrary to popular belief, Jethro had actually encouraged Tony to show his feelings, urging him that as a man it was important for women to know that he was only human. There were times when Jethro had cried unashamed in front of his children; most notable was the time when he had arrived home to find Tony in the hospital.

"I just - I woke up and I realized Kelly wouldn't be coming up here to drag me downstairs to open presents," Tony said sadly.

Jethro nodded suddenly finding himself fingering the corners of the boy's rumpled sheets. _He needs a bigger bed_ Jethro thought randomly noting that it was the same bed from Tony's childhood. It was old and entirely too small for the boy's tall stature. _I wonder if Kelly would have needed a bigger one too…_

"This is technically our first Christmas in this house since…" Tony started allowing the sentence to hang in the air, he turned to look out the window his eyes settling on the family across the street.

They were new in town, moving in towards the end of the summer. The boy was Tony's age when they first moved in. The daughter, unlike Kelly, was older than the boy by two years, though the roles were similar. Jethro had watched the family a time or two in envy as he watched the stay at home dad toss a baseball with his son everyday until the first signs of snow. The mother would come home and the children would still go out running to greet her as she came home from work. The husband, whose name was Richard, would greet his wife, Debbie, each night when she came home from work with a hug and a kiss as if she was returning from a year leave instead of a simple eight hours. They had no blinds for the first three months following their move in and there had been many times when Jethro found both Tony and himself staring enviously into the home as the family settled in for dinner, their happiness apparent from even outside.

The family was in their living room, their blinds open for the world to see, the children opening presents as their parents looked on lovingly. Richard had set up a tripod in the corner to record the memory.

Jethro found his eyes glued to the window as well, a lump forming in his throat with the realization that this Christmas there would be no Christmas breakfast waiting for him downstairs. The sound of Christmas music was not going to fill the house, and the sounds of Kelly attempting a new Christmas carol on the piano with Tony singing besides her would not be the entertainment for the next three weeks. Across the street the family was enjoying the holiday like it should be – with family and love instead of lost and a rift between father and son neither thought would ever be possible.

"I forgot to put up the tree," Jethro noted.

It was his job lug up the fake tree from the storage area beneath the stairs each year. Tony, Kelly, and Shannon would prepare the popcorn in the kitchen while he had the painstaking job to spread the fake branches in a somewhat lifelike way. Jethro wondered back to the Christmases he missed while he was deployed. He thought of the memories he would never have, the special times that he had missed because he was trying to provide for his family.

"I didn't bother putting the garland on the stair banister," Tony offered. "It isn't the same."

"I don't think it ever will be, son," Jethro sighed.

"It was Kelly's favorite holiday," Tony whispered, his voice catching in his throat. "She said that miracles always happen on Christmas."

Jethro nodded in agreement remembering his daughter's firm belief that Christmas was indeed the most magical time of year.

"I had a dream that mom and Kelly were alive and we were spending Christmas with them and it was the best Christmas ever," Tony admitted quietly. "But then I woke up."

Jethro felt his heart break at Tony's revelation. So this was what had upset the boy so badly. It wasn't a nightmare, but rather the thought of waking – of spending another day without the two people who knew him more than even Jethro knew him. Jethro racked his mind wishing for a way to make the boy's dream come true. He deserved it – Jethro knew of no one who deserved his mother and sister more than Tony did. The boy's year had been a rough one and the boy just needed one break, just one day with the family he had lost.

Memories of past Christmases came to mind and an idea formed in Jethro's heart. A genuine smile graced his features for the first time since God knows when and for the first time in a long time his eyes twinkled with a sort of mischievousness that reminded Tony of his childhood.

"What?" Tony asked, raising his eyebrow in confusion.

"Get dressed. I'm going to give us a Christmas that the girls would be proud of," Jethro said slapping the boy's leg encouragingly. "Your sister would not want us moping around on Christmas, and your mother would never forgive me if I didn't celebrate Christmas with you."

With that Jethro stood up and started down the stairs. He turned on the lights to every room in the house despite the bright winter sun that streamed into it. He turned on the radio in the living room for the first time since he had been home allowing the sounds of Christmas carols to ring throughout. Jethro changed into the hideous Christmas sweater that Kelly had picked out for him many years ago and went downstairs switching out the regular plates for the stupid green and red ones Shannon put out each year at this time.

Tony appeared at the entryway just as Jethro was preparing another batch of pancakes shaped like snowmen – the way Kelly liked them. He walked over to his father a smile on his face when he saw the blackened pancakes' shape.

"Dad, maybe I should cook," Tony said pushing his father aside and taking the spatula from the man's hand.

Jethro nodded in agreement watching over the boy only momentarily before heading down the stairs to fish out the decorations from their hiding places. The sounds of Christmas cheer radiated throughout the household and at times Jethro even found himself singing along to a few. He watched from the landing on top of the stairs overlooking the first floor a sad smile on his face as Tony flipped pancakes expertly.

The breakfast feast that Tony had created was similar to the ones Shannon had made each year and smelled just the same. Jethro grinned when he heard Tony's voice singing along to the song on the radio. Up until that moment Tony was silent, concentrating on the feast. As Tony cooked Jethro placed the garland across the stair landing and down the banister. He was in the process of putting up the tree when Tony had called him for breakfast.

Together they prayed for the food before them before digging in, allowing themselves to reminisce on Christmas pasts. Afterwards, father and son put up the tree and decorated it just like they usually did as a family. It had taken nearly the entire day for the two to put up all the decorations that usually adjourned their house the day after Thanksgiving. After breakfast they ran out to a grocery store that was opened and bought whatever they could to make a Christmas dinner that Shannon would have been proud of and Tony had started cooking immediately after they got home. By dinnertime their house was bright with lights. Tinsel scattered around the house and garland was hanging from every surface. The chimney had Kelly and Tony's stockings hung on it and Jethro had somehow produced some presents to place underneath the tree.

As Tony looked around the living room after dinner a small bittersweet smile played upon his face. "Mom would be impressed."

Jethro nodded in agreement. "Sit down, I got one last thing up my sleeve."

Tony sat down on the old sofa watching as his dad tinkered around with the old television. Minutes later the tv came to life and the sounds of "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" blasted from the speakers. Jethro sat down besides Tony, his arm over the top of the sofa.

"Hi mommy!" a significantly younger version of Tony waved at the camera, a smile plastered goofily on his face.

"Hey baby," Shannon's voice called back from behind the camera.

Both males jumped at the sound, their own hearts breaking as their longing for their lost overtook each one. Jethro felt tears in his eyes as the camera shifted and Shannon's face came into the picture momentarily.

"It's Christmas!" Shannon's voice cried out happily.

Behind her Kelly came out of her room rubbing the sleep from her eyes, her blanket trailing behind her.

"Mommy?" Kelly's voice was still soft and uncertain, her hair a bright blonde against her blue eyes.

"IT'S CHRISTMAS!" Tony yelped gleefully carefully picking up his younger sister and twirling her around on camera.

The sounds of Kelly's laughter made both Tony and Jethro laugh along - tears in each one of their eyes. Together they watched the small homemade video that Shannon had created for that year, and the next, and the next. Each year the family aged just a little than the year before, but the magic did not dissipate with age. There were a couple of years where Jethro had not been a part of the festivities and Jethro sadly realized that it was those Christmases that looked almost half hearted. Kelly and Tony didn't look as excited and there was one time the camera caught both children staring longingly at the phone.

The last Christmas – when Tony was thirteen Shannon had taken each child aside to say something to the camera.

"We're going to try something new starting this year," Shannon said speaking directly into the camera. "We're going to reflect on this year and say whatever is on our mind. Next year we'll watch it as a family and see how much everything's changed."

"Everything's changed alright," Tony muttered shaking his head at the screen.

"Tony!" Shannon's voice called out.

Present day Tony found himself leaning forward, having already forgotten what he had said two Christmases ago. At the time he had just started puberty and his voice was all sorts of funny making both father and son share a small laugh.

Tony plopped down in front of the camera, his posture a dead giveaway that he had somehow been forced into the situation.

"What do I have to say? Well…" Tony started.

"Nice things Anthony! Things you wouldn't mind your sister hearing in a year, or even your father," Shannon warned from behind the camera.

"Ok, so first and foremost, Kells you better be staying out of my room missy! I know it was you that got those stupid sparkles all over my gym shoes!" Tony warned pointing at the camera. "And I guess you're an awesome little sister. You know I love you kiddo." Tony said adoringly. "Dad, you're off fighting right now so Christmas totally sucks without you. Mom is crazy with her Christmas joy." A pillow flew from behind the camera at that moment hitting Tony straight in the face. "HEY OW! Just kidding dad, mom's under control. Oh yeah!" Tony teased. "I just wanted to say that I love you and hopefully you're around for next Christmas to see this. And mom, you know I love you. Thanks for putting up with me. MUAH!"

Tony stood up and Kelly entered the camera's view pushing the older boy out of her way. "My turn!" Kelly demanded.

Tony stuck his tongue out but complied. Present day Jethro gave a laugh shaking his head at his children's antics, wishing for nothing more than to see his little girl pushing his son right now in real life, instead of on television.

"Daddy! I miss you so much! I can't wait until you're here and I can be your little princess again! Although, I know I am already your little princess. Tony's no fun anymore. He's always out being a teenager. Mom said you'll straighten him out though once you get home. She says that he still loves me, but sometimes it doesn't seem like it. Some of the girls in my class think he's cute, but it's super gross because it's Tony and he likes to sleep on his dirty clothes instead of his bed. He really misses you. I miss you even more. He'll probably tell me that I'm wrong, but I'm right. Ok, so maybe not super right. I'll say we're at a tie," Kelly rambled.

"Tony, I think you're the best big brother ever! Even when you're being a stupid jerk teenager! Thanks for always playing with me even though I know you have better things to do. Oh and thanks for making that bully stop bullying me because that was really not cool. Ugh, hopefully by next year Maddie will no longer have a crush on you because it's really gross. Oh, and I accidentally broke your toy airplane. Please don't be mad. Oh and it's my fault your basketball got ran over. I thought it would be a good starter for the snowman, but then I got bored of it and just kicked it back to the street. Oh no! You heard me! I love you and please forgive me. TONY!!!" Kelly shrieked running off the screen.

Shannon's face appeared in front of the two Gibbs and Jethro and Tony found themselves leaning forward anticipating the matriarch's words. She looked happy, though the tell tale signs of aging began to show through the small wrinkles in the corner of her eyes. She shook her head watching something off screen – one can only assume it was still her children being children – with a hint of amusement in her eyes.

"Jethro – I…"

Whatever Shannon would have said was drowned out by the doorbell. Both Tony and Jethro exchanged glances, neither one expecting company. At first Jethro told Tony to ignore it, but after five minutes the person had gone from polite knocking to incessant pounding. Annoyed Jethro stalked over to the door determined to figure out just who the hell thought it would be all right to be knocking on anyone's door on Christmas.

Jethro found himself scowling as he opened the door to come face to face with Agent Macy – a smug look plastered on her face.

"It's Christmas, special agent Macy," Jethro said as if reminding the agent in case she had forgotten.

"I'm here for questions, and since you haven't been answering my phone calls since you left the other day I decided to check on you when I knew you'd be home," Agent Macy responded simply.

"Tomorrow, I'll come in tomorrow."

Agent Macy rolled her eyes simply pushing past Jethro and making her way into the house. Tony appeared at the entryway looking at the woman in front of him.

"I'm not here for you Gibbs. I'm here for your son."

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A/N - Longest chapter by far. Hope you guys will review. Thanks.


	21. Chapter 18

Special agent Mike Franks screeched to a halt besides the government issued sedan spitting on it as he hustled his way towards his newest agent's house. It was Christmas and his intention of drinking the night away was prematurely interrupted by Jethro, who had called him fifteen minutes ago sputtering something about Hernandez, Macy, and Tony. Mike could barely make out the words between the noises of spit hitting the phone and the sounds of a female in the background yelling at Jethro to calm down.

Once inside Mike blinked in surprise. Though Mike wasn't sure what to expect, he certainly hadn't expected to find this. Agent Macy was pathetically trying to hold her ground in the corner, away from the path of destruction hurricane Jethro certainly made. Jethro himself stood shaking in rage in the middle of the hallway, his finger pointing at Macy, a murderous glint in his eyes. Tony sat on the bottom stair, confusion clearly written on his face as well as fear, a suitcase besides him.

"Agent Macy, what are you doing here?" Mike Franks snapped hoping to gain control of the situation.

"I was here to question Tony concerning the ongoing investigation into the Hernandez case," Macy started.

Mike stiffened suddenly. "What about the Hernandez case?"

"I simply wanted to know given the circumstance and where the evidence is leading if Jethro is even currently fit to be the boy's legal guardian. Plus a new lead has led me once again back to this house for different reasons."

"You've got to be shitting me," Mike spat out his eyebrows coming together in disbelief.

"A familial relationship between one of Tony's peers and Hernandez himself led me to believe that this investigation involves not only the death of the suspect's wife and child, but also for protection of the suspect's son. I want to follow up on it, see if I'm wrong, _hope_ that I'm wrong," Macy explained.

"You don't know a damn thing," Jethro spat out angrily.

"Apparently, you don't either," Macy seethed. "Or are you telling me that you, as a federal investigator allowed for this to happen under your own roof?"

Jethro stepped forward with every intention to scare the woman back to whatever shithole she crawled out of, but Mike stepped in front of him, stopping him with a glare.

"Macy you damn well better explain to me everything that happened before I arrived, or I swear I'm going to let him have at you," Franks said turning once more to face the agent.

"I asked Tony some questions pertaining to Jethro's five month absence. There were holes in the report compiled previously and they needed to be filled. I asked him about what his mother told him regarding what she saw. His answers were precise. Too precise. As if it was practiced. Questions regarding Jethro's disappearance were the same, practically word for word with his statement. According to police records Hernandez's relative was picked up the other week by the police and when I asked for information regarding the teen imagine my surprise when I find that the boy was picked up along with one Anthony Gibbs? When I asked the boy about it he shut down. When I asked him what he knew of the Hernandez case he said nothing," Macy explained. "What the hell am I supposed to conclude from that Agent Franks?"

"That the boy is damn grieving and he has a lot to deal with. And he don't want to talk to no _probie_ about it," Mike yelled out.

"You need to let me handle this investigation," Macy stated angrily. "I called my superior and he called the director. I have permission to take the boy into protective custody until this matter is resolved."

"Damn it, Macy," Franks muttered out. "You don't know what the hell you're doing."

"Do I have to go?" Tony's voice cut through the conversation.

"No!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"You don't even have any grounds to take the boy," Mike countered.

"I do. That man is the prime suspect. He has motive. He has no alibi. The only reason no one's doing anything is because he is your probie!" Macy practically yelled.

"Wrong! The only reason no one is doing anything is because there is _**no evidence**_ that he did anything! You telling me that there's a reason you're going around trying to tear a family apart on Christmas…"

"I'm doing my job," Macy argued heatedly.

"Then let Jethro do his," Mike yelled.

"Whenever is convenient for him? He left his son in the hospital to the care of a stranger for five months! You want to tell me that that's Jethro doing his job?" Macy countered. "He left for five months to get drunk while his boy is in physical therapy three days a week, while his boy is grieving for the lost of his mother and sister, while his boy was two seconds away from death-"

"Enough!" Mike yelled stopping her. "The boy has had _enough_. Don't take him away from the only family he has left. Don't you think he's been through enough?"

Macy paused, the anger leaving her as she exhaled, guilt and sadness for the broken family in front of her replacing the former emotion. She looked at Mike – who stood in front of his probie, protecting him from her, no matter how much Mike said it was the other way around. Jethro stood behind Mike, in front of Tony, ready to pounce at the first sign of trouble – ready to protect his son. Finally her eyes landed on Tony, his eyes wide with confusion…and fear. The events of the last year finally showing through the tough teenage angst Tony had portrayed in the earlier hours. The confident exterior had slipped away and Macy couldn't help but feel the need to protect Tony. The boy had lost so much already and had gone through even more. He did not need to be around when she finally pieced the pieces together. He certainly did not need to be around when she comes back to arrest Jethro. She knew that she had the case in the bag. She _knew_ it. No, in order to protect the boy – because he has been through enough - as Mike put it, she needed to take him away from this.

"I'm sorry. Tony, let's go," Macy stated with a shake of the head.

Jethro launched forward ready to attack. He pushed his way past Mike's frame, getting into Macy's face, his hands shook with restraint. Macy yelped out in surprise before her own expression hardened, pushing the man away from her.

"You're not taking him!" Jethro yelled into her face.

"I can arrest you and hold you for interfering with a federal investigation right now and I still take him. You won't ever see him again. I have what I need to take you down for the murder of Hernandez, Jethro. Don't _tempt_ me."

"Fuck you," Jethro spat out.

"Special Agent Gibbs, your under arrest for inter-" Macy started grabbing for Jethro's wrist.

On instinct Jethro whirled around taking Macy and switching positions so that he was the one restraining her. His anger allowed him to see nothing, but red. All of a sudden the anger from the past year poured out and once again he found himself shaking with rage. The temptation to just get rid of Macy was overwhelming and the sounds of her surprised cries barely registered in his mind.

"Stop! Dad!" Tony's sudden cry however, was enough to bring him back to his senses, and he let go of Macy as if she had burnt him.

They watched as Jethro stumbled back, realization that he had hurt a woman striking his features. He looked over at Tony who was giving him a scared look, his eyes showing nothing but fear. In all the years as a father Jethro had been careful with his temper, careful of his marine training, of his strength, of his abilities to kill silently so he wouldn't scare his kids.

Macy stood hesitantly checking her wrist to see the red hand print from where Jethro had griped her tightly. Mike had stepped forward to check on her now while glancing over worriedly at Jethro.

It was silent as the parties took in what had started and ended in the matter of seconds. _Macy's right_. Jethro silently concluded.

"Take him," Jethro whispered before turning away from the three shocked faces and disappearing towards the basement door.

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A/N - it's really rough, but I wasn't able to write last week because I had so many tests. Finals are coming up and I'm borderline for a lot of classes. I've been studying and really this is my first time looking at this fic for awhile. I came back to it because I was browsing through different sites and I found on livejournal that someone actually recommended my fic to someone else. i don't know why, but it just really touched me. I know for sure that this chapter will probably have a re-write but I just wanted to share with you guys even just a rough draft just to thank you all for continuing to read and review. It really is one of the most encouraging things ever. Thanks once again


	22. Past beginnings

**Past Beginnings...**

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_"I don't think the human mind can comprehend the past and the future. They are both just illusions that can manipulate you into thinking there's some kind of change."_ - Bob Dylan

* * *

_One month later …_

Mike Franks slammed the car door shut looking up at the house in front of him. Tear streaks softened the otherwise hardened expression that was usually plastered on the man's face. His hair was awry as he ran his fingers through the thinning patch yet again. Besides him agent Macy stood, emotions hidden behind a professional exterior, and besides her, the director of NIS. Together they approached the front door smoothing out the wrinkles in their suits. Each one lost in their own thought as they forced themselves to step on forward. The director and Macy stared up at Franks with expectation with a scowl Franks reluctantly jabbed at the doorbell knowing that it was all for formalities sake. The door hadn't been locked in a little over a year.

Franks prayed that the door would stay shut – that no one would ever answer the door. He prayed that the doorbell didn't work, and the door stayed lock, because then he wouldn't have to face his own failures. It had been a month since Tony had been taken from his house to the day. One month since Jethro had lost it completely and locked himself in his house, hiding from anyone and everyone. He had shut off completely, barely trusting Mike. The only times Jethro did pick up the phone was when he knew that he'd be expecting an update on Tony's situation.

Macy had taken her sweet time with the investigation despite the pressure placed upon her by not only Franks but also the director of NIS himself. Franks was given absolutely no information about the case after Tony was taken and it eventually became a joint investigation with the FBI. Franks was able to get one of his previous probies, Tobias Fornell, on the case, but even he kept a tight lip on the investigation.

Three days ago scuttlebutt spread like wildfire amongst the bullpen that Macy finally had a break in the case and Franks had found himself hopeful that maybe the madness would be over. Damn he wished that he was back to three days ago…

They had gotten the call early morning from the idiots the director had placed Tony with. They knew of Tony's relation to Jethro and furthermore of Jethro's place on Franks' team. Franks figured it was probably more out of respect than anything else that they called him. The seconds following the call were blurry, despite the fact they probably only occurred barely an hour ago.

Franks remembered demanding they make sure – demanding they _**make damn sure**_. He remembered yelling into the phone and squeezing it when they told him they did. He vaguely remembered slamming it down into the receiver and giving a defeated yell of anger when _he realized they already did_. He could barely recollect Macy and the director appearing from out of nowhere, their own sorrow written on their faces as they patiently waited for Mike to get a hold of himself.

It was unsaid that he would go with them to deliver the news and Macy allowed Mike to freely tell her how badly she had _fucked_ up the entire car ride. She said nothing as the man's sorrow turned to anger, all directed at her. She didn't flinch when the man called her an incapable agent or when he blew smoke into her face without apology. She said nothing of his suicidal driving, and the director knew better than to mess with Franks when he was in one of his moods.

The door opened revealing the most broken man either three had ever seen. Franks gulped and stepped forward saying nothing as the man took a step back. Franks looked deep into the other man's piercing blue eyes studying them, wondering if this was what would break the man to the point of no return.

Franks opened his mouth, his heart yearning. He found himself reaching out to clasp on one shoulder, keeping it steady despite the other man's attempt to shrug it away.

"What's wrong?" Jethro finally whispered.

"It's Tony, Jethro," Franks started, his voice husky with unshed tears.

"Please…" Jethro's voice broke immediately, his eyes going from Franks to the director's to Macy's before finally landing back on Franks. "Boss…"

"He's…"

"Don't! Don't finish that sentence. If you're going to say that he's…" Jethro's voice broke.

Franks took Jethro into his arms wrapping the younger man into a hug that relayed what he could not say.

"I'm sorry probie."

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A/N - Thank you for your reviews. After debating I decided that this is the end of part one. I know there are holes, but those are intentional. We will see them in part two.** I will re-write the last three chapters** to really incorporate the title because they are in essence what this part is about. As of right now...I'm going to put a complete on this because Biological Catalyst **IS **complete. It is my first complete story, but the series itself where Tony becomes DiNozzo and hence the characters we see right now is the next part of the series and that continues on. Be looking for that in the following days. Reviews do help speed up the writing process. Once again, thank you all for reviewing. This has been interesting. Hopefully the somewhat cliff hanger encourages reviews. I did plan on that cliff hanger from the very start and the title did hint towards it. Once again, thank you.

12.01.09


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